Drama Doesn’t Do It

And so, to sum up Week 10 in the NFL in 15 words or less:

“We had people acting stupid and not knowing how to control their emotions.”

That pretty much said it all Sunday--although, for the record, and this is something of an upset, the speaker was not a teammate of Martin (Excitable Boy) Gramatica.

No, those words belong to Darren Sharper, who plays safety for the Green Bay Packers, who are normally expected to beat the Atlanta Falcons when playing them at Lambeau Field, and were on their way, until people started acting stupid and not knowing how to control their emotions.

Packer defensive back Chris Akins was the first brain to cramp. With the Falcons leading, 16-13, midway through the fourth quarter and facing third and 12 at their own 20, Akins shoved Atlanta offensive tackle Ephraim Salaam right in front of the referee, who flagged Akins for a 15-yard personal-foul penalty. Given a first-down gift, the Falcons kept driving all the way to the Packer end zone, manufacturing a 23-13 lead that sent Brett Favre into last-ditch scramble mode.

Ordinarily, Favre is poised enough to cope with such circumstances--especially at Lambeau, where the Packers had won in their previous nine attempts. And, right on schedule, Favre quickly got seven points back on a long scoring pass to Antonio Freeman.

And he had the ball again, at the Falcon 45-yard line with 1:17 left, needing only another 10 yards or so to move into range for Ryan Longwell, the equalizer and overtime.

But suddenly and strangely, as if Akins had sent in the play from the sideline, Favre went for it all on the very next play.

Long ball to Bill Schroeder.

Very, very long ball. Barry Bonds long. Sammy Sosa long.

Churning as hard as he could, Schroeder looked up and saw the ball sailing far beyond his reach, headed for the next county, before Atlanta defensive back Ashley Ambrose ran it down and intercepted on his own two-yard line.

Ambrose, who also picked off Favre’s first pass of the game, completed his bookend collection and the Packers, sloppily and literally, had thrown the game away, 23-20.

When some reporter suggested to Favre that his play selection, if not exactly stupid, per se, was perhaps somewhat ill-advised, Favre repeated what he had just done to the game. He lost it.

“I don’t second-guess anything I’ve ever done,” Favre shot back.

“I feel like I’m the best in the business--I still do.”

And if anyone believes he could have done better, Favre challenged him to “suit up.” “Come take my spot.”

This was atypical behavior from Favre, though understandable in light of what just had been flushed away: A share of first place in the NFC Central, which now is in the sole possession of the Chicago Bears, whose souls evidently are now in the devil’s possession.

How else does one explain back-to-back game-winning interception returns by Mike Brown in overtime, followed by a 27-24 victory at Tampa Bay when Gramatica, a.k.a. “Automatica,” plunked the right upright from 48 yards with six seconds left?

“I don’t feel like we’re a charmed team in the least,” Bear Coach Dick Jauron said while Chicago investigative reporters pored over Jauron’s legal documents looking for one signed in blood.

Meanwhile, Gramatica was not knowing how to control his emotions again. This turned out to be a landmark case study: How would Gramatica, who turned last week’s overtime-ending field goal over winless Detroit into a Jim Carrey audition tape, deal with a more unfortunate turn of events, such as plunking the right upright from 48 yards with six seconds left?

Not well, as you might have predicted. Moments after playing the carom, which dropped preseason Super Bowl favorite Tampa Bay to 4-5, Gramatica could be seen angrily jawing and banging facemasks with the Bears’ Brown. Then, milking it to the hilt, Gramatica dramatically looked up to the heavens and slapped the palm of his right hand against his still-helmeted forehead.

Look for that clip to lead off the Buccaneers’ 2001 postseason video, “Farewell to Dungy.”

Across the state, there was booing throughout most of the second half at Pro Player Stadium and cursing throughout the Miami locker room as the Dolphins lost again to the New York Jets, 24-0, extending their inexplicable losing streak against the Jets to eight.

Yes, for those Dolphin fans who asked, against the Jets, it can always get worse. Not only did the Dolphins lose at home, coughing up first place in the AFC East in the process, but they were shut out at home for the first time in 31 years--losing by 24 points to a team that managed only 162 yards in total offense.

On the bright side, Miami linebacker Zach Thomas, noted that the Jets, now 7-3 and a half-game ahead of the 6-3 Dolphins, “can’t play us every week.”

Erratic behavior abounded around the league Sunday.

In Denver, the Broncos, now known as the Tampa Bay of the AFC West, lost at home to the very recently hopeless Washington Redskins, 17-10, prompting Denver Coach Mike Shanahan to go a little Gramatica when assessing his team’s effort on offense as “the worst I’ve ever seen in all my time in the NFL.”

(Note: When Shanahan coached the Los Angeles Raiders in 1988, his quarterback was named Jay Schroeder.)

In Baltimore, the defending Super Bowl champions had their high-priced “upgrade” over Trent Dilfer blow up on them again. Elvis Grbac committed five turnovers--four interceptions, one fumble--to enable the team that replaced the Ravens in Cleveland, the three-year-old Browns, complete a season sweep of Baltimore, 27-17.

And in Cincinnati, locals have gone completely around the bend over the news that the Bengals are still the Bengals. In the waning minutes of a 20-7 loss to Tennessee, one Bengal fan, mad as hell and not going to take it anymore, ran onto the field, pulled up in front of the Titan huddle and dropped his pants.

Security officers moved quickly to escort the man from the field, although one had to return to retrieve the crazed fan’s mobile phone, fumbled away in the excitement in a show-stopping tribute to Jon Kitna.