Fox Fouls One Off With Its Use of Virtual Faces

Very tense moment in Game 2 of the World Series. Bottom of the seventh, 1-0 ballgame, one out, runners on first and second. New York Yankee pitcher Andy Pettitte kicks at the dirt on the mound, licks his lips, tugs on the bill of his cap and stares in at Calista Flockhart.

Calista’s a left-hander, apparently. And, from the looks of things, unafraid of the inside fastball. She doesn’t flinch, she doesn’t budge from her position behind the left side of home plate--where her computer-generated image is locked onto the green backstop serving as a Fox projection screen.

Pettitte looks in. Calista looks back. Pettitte can’t actually see her, all he sees is the green backstop, and good for him. Anyone watching on television, however, gets Calista, her mug as big as Don Zimmer, and frankly, it is creepy.

Ally McBeal, baseball poltergeist, Big Sister watching every move Joe Torre makes. She pouts. She arches an eyebrow. Like most of us, she seems to be wondering, “Why don’t you go to the bullpen already?”

I look at Calista Flockhart looking back at me and I wonder when Tim McCarver is going to break in with a scouting report: Ally’s grown her hair out this season. Still could use a few pounds, though.

I do not want to look at Calista Flockhart. Not now. Not with a World Series game on the line. Not with Matt Williams digging in. Not with Jorge Posada flashing signals.

The only place I want to see Calista Flockhart inside a baseball stadium is in the line at the hot dog stand.

It is Pettitte against Williams, a showdown for the history books, and if your mind begins to drift a bit, rewinding back to Kirk Gibson against Dennis Eckersley and other Series-turning confrontations of Octobers past, Fox is there to bring you right back.

At the top right-hand corner of the screen: The ever-present “MLB On Fox” logo.

At the bottom of the screen as Williams steps in: The Matt Williams stat box, complete with Fox logo.

On the backstop behind Williams: Calista Flockhart and the big bold words “ALLY’S BACK TOMORROW” and the Fox logo.

Where was I again?

Oh right, tuning in to Fox.

I almost forgot.

Joe Buck has the kind of World Series moment baseball broadcasters dream about. Setting up Pettitte’s 0-and-1 pitch to Williams, Buck notes, “Remember the missed chance on the double-play ball hit by Reggie Sanders. See if that comes back to haunt the Yankees.”

Williams swings, and Buck barely has a chance to exhale.

“It does!”

“Goodbye!”

“Matt Williams, three-run homer. Four-nothing, Arizona.”

Williams rounds the bases and the next image we see is that of another actress, Michelle Williams. Another computer-generated graphic? Maybe she has a cameo on this week’s “Boston Public”?

I lean in closer to get a better look. (Trying to watch baseball on Fox is truly a fan interactive experience.) No, this actress is fully animated. She hugs the person standing next to her in the box seats. She thrusts both arms into the air. She lets out several squeals of delight.

Yes, this appears to be Williams’ real-life wife, celebrating her husband’s real-life, game-breaking home run.

After the Diamondbacks finish off their 4-0 victory over the Yankees, Williams is told of his wife’s reaction and he says he needs to get a copy of that tape.

And when he does, and when he digs it out years from now to show the grandkids, the youngsters will learn that on this overheated night in October 2001, Ally was back the day after.

Fox is out of control, but we already knew that. This one is on Bud Selig and his minions, who signed off on a six-year television contract that permits Fox to turn the inside of World Series stadiums into billboards for its prime-time programming.

Tonight, the Series moves to Yankee Stadium and heaven help us there.

Now batting for the Yankees... Number 51... Bernie Williams... Number 51... And remember, “The Tick” comes to Fox on Nov. 8.

The virtual billboards do serve an educational purpose, though. Now millions of football fans know what happened behind the scenes when Fox Sports executives decided to scrap a useful on-screen enhancement, the yellow first-down stripe, as a necessary cost-cutting measure, yet had enough money to give Ally McBeal the best World Series seat in the house.

The yellow stripe doesn’t preview anything more than the St. Louis Rams’ next series of downs, and there are no ratings or dollars to be made off that.

(Later, Fox devoted the Bank One Ballpark backstop to a half-inning-long advertisement for “The Tick.” First impression: The guy looks a lot funnier than any of those on “The Best Damn Sports Show Period.”)

(And while we’re on the subject, how about equal time for baseball, Fox? On Monday night’s show, where was the computer-generated image of Roger Clemens on the wall behind Ally’s desk, along with the words: “YANKEES ARE BACK TOMORROW”?)

One thing about Fox’s virtual billboards: On replays, the ads disappear. Live action, Pettitte hangs a fastball to Williams and Ally looks on disapprovingly.

Replay, Ally’s gone, Williams swings and connects on the same pitch in front of a plain green backdrop. No logo, no promo, no more urge to drape a towel over the left half of your TV screen.

Nice replays, Fox.