He Wasn’t Invited to the Donner Party

When Indiana surprised most media pundits by advancing to Monday night’s NCAA title game, some sportswriters, including Jay Mariotti of the Chicago Sun-Times, praised Coach Mike Davis while taking shots at Bob Knight, the Hoosiers’ longtime coach before Davis replaced him last season.

“It is Davis, the outsider who has been harassed mercilessly by Knight loyalists, who ends up fitting the state’s values far better than the legendary ogre he replaced,” Mariotti wrote.

The dictionary definition of an ogre: “A hideous giant of fairy tales and folklore that feeds on human beings.”

Aw, come on, Jay, Knight isn’t that bad.

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Trivia time: What was the result of the Dodgers’ first league game played in Los Angeles in 1958?

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Augusta bargains: GolfWorld magazine reporting on the Masters, which will be played next week: “The slumbering economy and aftereffects of Sept. 11 have combined to make this one of the quietest springs for corporate hospitality in recent memory.

“Houses are renting for as much as 50% less than last year, say local travel brokers; the cost of a black-market weekly badge is between $2,500 and $2,800, down from $4,200 last year.”

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Oh, no! Reader Bob Barrows to the San Francisco Chronicle: “When I umpired a girls’ fast-pitch softball game the other day, the home coach gave me a lineup card without listing either his catcher or pitcher.

“I asked him why and he explained, ‘Batteries not included.’”

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Precautions: Comedy writer Earl Hochman: “Even though Ruben Rivera signed a minor league contract with the Texas Rangers and will start the season at Tulsa, Ranger shortstop Alex Rodriquez, taking no chances, already has installed a dozen new fool-proof locks on his equipment locker.”

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Slim chances: Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post:

“I’m sorry, but I don’t see the Diamondbacks repeating this year. After [Randy] Johnson and Curt Schilling, their pitching is thinner than Gwyneth Paltrow’s Oscars dress.”

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Amen: The late Bill Veeck once said, “Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very un-orderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can’t get you off.”

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Do you remember Nat? Dave Lewandowski in the Indianapolis Star:

“Now that John Stockton has turned 40, he’s one of 10 men to play in the NBA after that milestone birthday. The oldest was Nat Hickey, who played one game at age 46 for Providence in 1947-48.”

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Trivia answer: The Dodgers beat the San Francisco Giants, 6-5, at the Coliseum before a crowd of 78,762.

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And finally: Dan Cook of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, commenting on the Pirates’ prospects: “The Pirates were 69-93 in the 2000 season for the second time in three years. It was their eighth consecutive losing season....

“‘It can’t possibly get worse,’ you said at this time last year. But it got a lot worse. The Pirates were 62-100 last season in beautiful new PNC Park and were one of the big jokes in baseball.

“Don’t make the same mistake. This season could be uglier.”