‘Second String’ has a few laughs but fumbles

The roster of memorable football movies includes “North Dallas Forty,” “The Longest Yard” and “Brian’s Song.”

Unfortunately, “Second String,” which premieres tonight at 8 on TNT, won’t make the cut. This story of a washed-up quarterback who returns to the league at the end of the season and propels his ragtag team to the Super Bowl has amusing moments, but its silly action scenes strain credibility, even by the standards of the sports comedy-fantasy genre.

As the Buffalo Bills prepare for the playoffs, Coach Dichter (Jon Voight) wants to add another reserve quarterback, simply to help with practice sessions. To his chagrin, the front office signs Dan Heller (Gil Bellows), a former Notre Dame star now peddling insurance. The last time Dichter and Heller teamed up, the season was a debacle and they both lost their jobs.

Fate intervenes when the Bills’ entire first-string offense, led by veteran quarterback Doug Flutie as himself, is sickened by a tray of bad oysters at a celebration dinner a week before the playoffs begin.

The food poisoning turns out to be a rare form that conveniently lasts at least a month, so the team’s Super Bowl hopes are now in the hands of Heller, whose wife, Connie (Teri Polo), and close friend, backup receiver Gerry Fullerton (Richard T. Jones), seem to be his only believers.

Director Robert Lieberman and writers Tom Flynn and Jere Cunningham aim for “Rocky” meets “The Bad News Bears,” failing to inspire but scoring at times with humor. At one point, Mike Ditka, ribbing his new career in the announcing booth, fills up the screen with indecipherable Telestrator scribbles to show how the struggling Bills got to fourth down and 42 yards to go.

As with many sports films, however, the games play like a series of unlikely comebacks built on improbable trick plays, all to a chorus of lethargic crowd noise.

You may know how the coach feels when the Bills are getting beaten during the Super Bowl and he mutters, “I can’t watch this. Tell me when it’s over.”