A Silver and Black Eye? That’s Fine With NFL

Forever the Raiders have tried to snow us with the Raider Way, paranoid at every turn that there was a plot underway to swipe their greatness, pitting the Raider Nation against the rest of the well-behaved world.

The gap will widen now with the “Snow Job,” Oakland knocked out of the AFC title game with maybe the worst, and most costly referee’s interpretation in NFL history--conclusive proof the NFL was willing to go to any lengths to just win, baby.

Both God and the NFL planned it this way, of course, God doing his part with the snow and the NFL assigning referee Walt Coleman to the game.

Now any other team playing against the Patriots, the game is over and they win. There is no question quarterback Tom Brady was making no attempt to throw the ball, he fumbled, and that would have been that.

But as the Raiders would tell you, instant replay was designed to get them, and for all they know, Commissioner Paul Tagliabue was talking into Coleman’s ear, telling him he doesn’t give one Holly Roller hoot what the replay shows, the Pats are going to tie this game.

Coleman, of course, is also flipping the two-headed coin Tagliabue had given him--allowing New England to get the ball first in overtime, and then steal the playoff victory that had already belonged to the Raiders.

At least that’s how Al Davis’ lawsuit is probably going to read today.

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I DIDN’T write much this week because the editors had me toiling elsewhere, which explained the line at the bottom of Page Two: “T.J. Simers is on assignment.”

On Tuesday my assignment was to play golf with Dodger Manager Jim Tracy. On Wednesday my assignment was to play golf with South Hills Country Club PGA professional Wade Berzas. No one would come out and play with me Thursday, so I returned to work.

I was with Tracy at the Cascades in Sylmar when word came by cell phone Gary Sheffield had been traded, and I can tell you of the 140 to 150 shots Tracy took that day, his very best came right after learning of the deal. You can’t believe how far that thing rolled.

Picture Eric Karros trying to hit a baseball and you have a good idea what Tracy looks like when he swings a golf club. That reminds me--major league baseball should probably allow Karros to use a cart in order to speed up play.

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I GOT the impression from Tracy--following each shot and the wait for him to emerge from the woods after finding his ball--that like most of you, he was tired of the Sheffield thing, Sheffield’s September swoon and clubhouse tension.

I understand the “Sheffield thing,” and his disappearing act down the stretch, but I’m having a little trouble with “clubhouse tension.”

I think I know something about clubhouse tension--standing in front of Kevin Brown’s locker for most home games--and while I can’t imagine Brown or Sheffield tossing a Mister Rogers Neighborhood wink at Karros, it certainly wouldn’t help him hit the ball more often.

Salma Hayek tossing a wink at Karros wouldn’t help, although it would be the first time I was impressed with Karros.

Now I admit I talk more softly whenever I’m close to Shawn Green to avoid spooking him, and it probably means something to Chad Kreuter that he doesn’t have to keep his baseball caps under lock and key. But the suggestion Sheffield’s dismissal will improve team chemistry within the clubhouse is ridiculous.

A first-rate closer will improve team chemistry. A leadoff hitter will improve team chemistry. More vacation time for the Page Two columnist will improve team chemistry.

The pure baseball decision to trade Sheffield, who has probably been the most dynamic offensive performer in L.A. Dodger history over a three-year span of time, makes sense only for Atlanta. Sheffield gives the Braves a chance to compete with the Mike Piazza Mets for postseason play, and maybe the chance to play the Pedro Martinez Red Sox in the World Series. The Dodgers are very good at improving team chemistry throughout the league.

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THE DODGERS haven’t done many things well in recent years, but they’ve done a splendid job in portraying Sheffield as someone who just had to go.

Times lead sports columnist Bill Plaschke told us last week the reason the Dodgers traded Sheffield to Atlanta was because some unnamed Dodger official thought Sheffield might punch someone in spring training.

Plaschke then ran down the list of those who might be punched with the unnamed Dodger official, and the unnamed Dodger official came to the conclusion no one would be punched, but what the heck--Plaschke concluded--trade him anyway because some unnamed Dodger official came up with the cockamamie notion someone might be punched.

My guess is that Dodger official Bob Daly never got over being blasted by Sheffield before last season, and to justify giving Sheffield away in a lopsided trade he wanted the public to think no one could get along with this guy.

The fact so many Dodger fans were happy to see Sheffield go, while admitting Atlanta got the better end of the deal, demonstrates a lot of people read Plaschke, and Daly was successful.

Now it’s Tracy’s job to win with a room of “choirboys,” as he calls the good guys in sports, and while he’s bullish on the new year, I told him he’ll be playing golf around Oct. 1 when the playoffs begin.

He’s too nice to say, “If you’re so smart, buster, what would you have me do?”

But he did say: “Do you have a better idea?”

“Sure. Put away the clubs, and take up bowling.”

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from (The Rev.) Scott Kingsbury:

“Everyone knows Clint Eastwood’s ‘Dirty Harry’ Callahan used a .44 magnum--’the world’s most powerful handgun,’ and not a .357.”

And what would Dirty Harry say while passing the collection plate....

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.