A Dark Hole for Public Chatterboxes

There are few things as annoying about life in Southern California as the cutesy tones of ringing cell phones in public places, followed by loud, one-sided conversations. I even had to listen to one yammering idiot in a doctor’s waiting room the other day.

Well, Wally Schultz of Rancho Cucamonga knows of one restaurant with a unique approach to avoiding such problems. The only catch is that it’s more than 6,000 miles away--in northern Italy.

“The proprietor, a gruff grandpa-type, scrutinized each customer before he seated them, demanding their cell phones,” Schultz said. “How did he keep ‘em away from the customers? Take a look--each compartment has its own lock, and the diners from each table get one cubbyhole and the key to it (see photo).

“The complete inscription on the cabinet is ‘Deposito telefoni portatili per la tranquillita di tuti,’ which translates as ‘Deposit portable telephones for the tranquillity of all.’ ” We hear you.

Such a deal: Jerry Biggs of Redlands noticed that a carwash was offering a $2 discount--not much when you consider the regular price (see accompanying).

Almost like home: So, when the Dodgers acquired Canadian-born pitcher Paul Quantrill in the off-season, where did he make his home? La Canada, of course.

You beat us this time, Sacramento! The Lakers may have whipped the Kings in the NBA playoffs, but Sacramento came out ahead of L.A. in another competition: America’s Sweatiest Cities. Sacramento ranked 21st, ahead of Fresno (36), L.A. (47) and San Diego (48) in a poll released by the deodorant maker Old Spice. No. 1 was San Antonio, where residents walking outside purportedly sweat as much as a liter per hour on a summer day.

The rankings were based on the average heights and weights of residents and on the average temperatures and humidities of the cities in the summer. Oddly, Seattle ranked right behind San Diego, at 49. I wonder if the researchers mistook raindrops for sweat drops?

Health update: I’m over my case of World Cup fever. Thanks for all your cards and letters.

Weak Cover Stories Dept.: In the “burglary” section of its police log, the Beach Reporter said residents of a Manhattan Beach home heard noises in the middle of the night “and found two men sitting on the couch.” The intruders started to leave, but when a male resident “told them to sit back down on the couch, they complied. The two men said they entered the residence through the kitchen window and thought they were in someone else’s house. When the residents asked why they came through the kitchen window, they said they did not know why.” Nothing was taken. Police were summoned and arrested the hapless twosome.

miscelLAny: I heard an ad that said of a new TV series: “No script! No actors!” Isn’t that the way most sitcoms are made?

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve. harvey@latimes.com.