When Stupid Suspect Dials 911, It’s the Crafty Cops Who Come Calling

In today’s stupid criminal tricks episode, sneaky L.A. County sheriff’s deputies acquired the pager number of a missing suspect, called him and left a 911 “emergency” message.

The suspect dialed 911 and, of course, hung up immediately when he realized whom he had reached. But the call gave away his location.

Deputies visited and arrested him for possession of a stolen weapon.

Tinseltown dilemma: OK, a consultant’s report found that the Hollywood area would be viable as an independent city. But here’s the big question: What would the city be called?

“Hollywood” is out for a couple of reasons.

First, as City Councilman Tom LaBonge told The Times on Thursday, the Hollywood sign “is in Griffith Park, and Griffith Park is in Los Angeles. They’re not going to get the Hollywood sign.”

Then, too, I assume residents will want to shun the name anyway because of all the gibes that would be recalled, like this from comic Oscar Levant: “Strip the phony tinsel off Hollywood and you’ll find the real tinsel underneath.”

And so, in still another public service, I’m willing to take nominations for a new name for L.A.’s glitzy neighbor-to-be.

Offsides! It was two years ago that a bizarre billboard began popping up all over town (see photo). Others also carried strange messages, including one that warned that “eight Oklahoma tourists” would be “beaten” in L.A.

They turned out to be ads for the Arena Football League. Well, the L.A. Avengers resume play next month, but the billboards have been toned down.

Not only did they draw protests from residents, but some backfired. For instance, the “Oklahoma tourists” (i.e. the Oklahoma Outlaws), far from being beaten, whipped the Avengers, 59-33.

Sacre bleu! I like butter as much as the next person. But, as Allen St. James points out, there should be a little dough in a croissant too (see accompanying).

A real estate agent who gets personal: A typo on a junk mailing (see accompanying) prompted Pamela Rothschild of Beverly Hills to quip: “This is the best offer I’ve had in years.”

Speaking of drainage problems: Ric Sarabia has a bitty--not to mention gritty--part in a coming episode of TV’s “ER” in which he plays a drunk who urinates on himself. He saw the magic of show biz up close and personal.

Sarabia wore a backpack contraption under his jacket.

“Turk, the special-effects guy, started the flow via remote control just off camera,” Sarabia marveled. “I didn’t even have to set it off myself. Man, all you do is ‘act’ on that show--what a Cadillac production!”

Incidentally, the backpack contained Windex. Showed up better on camera than water, he was told.

miscelLAny: The Long Beach Press-Telegram reports that Democrat Peter Mathews is disputing his loss in the 37th Congressional District primary. Many voters may have been “disenfranchised” through election snafus, Mathews said. How many? He received 22% of the vote to incumbent Rep. Juanita Millender-McDonald’s 78%.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.