Plenty of Punch Lines for Boxing Has-Beens

Mitch Albom of the Detroit Free Press, tongue firmly planted in cheek, says he’s craving more televised “celebrity” boxing matches after watching Tonya Harding beat up on Paula Jones last week:

“I want Darva Conger next. Linda Tripp after that. Jenny McCarthy should be in the wings, alongside Gennifer Flowers, Downtown Julie Brown, Lorena Bobbitt and that witchy woman from ‘Survivor.’

“On the men’s side, the dressing room should be packed. I’m seeing

“I’m thinking ‘Gladiator’ here. We grab all these desperately-clinging-to-the-last-rung-of-celebrity types and let them battle to the death. That way, when it’s over, we only have one annoying, low-talent person on our hands.

“And we drop a safe on him.”

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More Albom: “I have written endlessly about our trash culture society, fiddling while the rest of the world burns. I have encouraged reading, listening to music, talking to family, exercising, even chanting at the edge of a riverbed--anything as an alternative to the E! Channel, ‘Access Hollywood’ or the Psychic Friends Network.

“And what happens?

“Fox puts six has-beens in a ring and has a ratings smash.”

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Trivia question: What former Wilmington Banning High basketball standout holds the record for most assists in a NCAA men’s tournament game?

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Back to normal: In the aftermath of Sept. 11, New York’s baseball teams were greeted warmly even in normally hostile cities such as Boston, where Red Sox fans put aside their hatred for the Yankees one night by singing along to Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York” when prompted by the public address announcer.

Six months later, it appears as if booing the Yankees and Mets will once again be acceptable.

“Of course they will boo,” Yankee outfielder Shane Spencer said. “It will really be back to normal when we get booed at home.”

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Healthy behavior: Duke’s basketball fans are known as the Cameron Crazies, named after the school’s indoor stadium, and regularly live up to their nickname by camping out all night to buy tickets, painting their faces blue and white, and passing an occasional body from one section of seats to the next.

Not to worry, says professor Dan Wann, a psychologist at Murray State who has studied fan behavior.

“They’re just finding ways to increase their association with a winner,” Wann said. “We know we’re known by the company we keep. It is reflected in glory. We bask in the glow of our team’s success.”

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Trivia answer: Mark Wade of Nevada Las Vegas, 18, against Indiana in 1987.

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And finally: Terrell Taylor, whose last-second three-point basket lifted Creighton to a double-overtime upset over Florida in the first round of the NCAA tournament Friday, wears No. 23 in homage to his idol, Michael Jordan.

But Taylor’s worship of Jordan doesn’t end there.

He owns a version of every pair of Air Jordans ever made, and last he checked, there were 25 posters of Jordan in his bedroom back home in Bridgeport, Conn. He’s also got the wristbands, socks, hat and a Jordan tattoo.

“It’s ridiculous,” Taylor acknowledged.