At 0-6, They Can’t Even Have a Good Bye

Paul Daugherty of the Cincinnati Post commenting on -- make that ridiculing -- the 0-6 Bengals: “The Bengals have been outscored, 123-17, in the first halves of their games. They’re out of games so quickly, they still have time to scalp tickets....

“The Bengals play Bye Week Sunday. They’re three-point underdogs in the early line.”

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More Bengals: This writer can commiserate with Daugherty. I covered the 1962 L.A. Rams for The Times. The team had a 1-12-1 record, the only win coming against the San Francisco 49ers, 28-14, midway through the season.

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Trivia time: Who holds the NFL record for fumbles?

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Picking on Phil: Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times: “News flash: Phil Jackson is the new spokesman for the Positive Coaching Alliance, which strives to make youth sports fun.

“Said Jackson, claiming that coaches need better training to handle young athletes: ‘Our society puts too much emphasis on sports.’

“Exhibit A: Paying a coach $6 million a year -- like Phil Jackson.”

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Still a showboat: Tim Kawakami of the San Jose Mercury News, defending controversial 49er receiver Terrell Owens: “He is not a fake, he does not back down, he backs up most of what he says, and about once a season he either spikes the ball on the Texas Stadium star or accuses his coach of being too nice or signs a ball after the game-winning touchdown or who knows what next?”

Comment: We dread to think about it.

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All that matters: When Chicago Blackhawk Coach Brian Sutter named center Alexi Zhamnov team captain, Zhamnov admitted he hasn’t always been classic captain material.

“I was a captain once before when I was 12,” Zhamnov recalled. “I took the team out of school and we went to a movie, missing a test. I couldn’t be captain after that, but the team liked me.”

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Tough crowd: Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune: “University of Illinois police booted 89 people from Memorial Stadium during the Packers-Bears game, many for fighting, and I’m thinking, they should’ve been given spots on the defensive line.”

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Bored already: Mike Lupica in the New York Daily News: “It’s only taken a couple of weeks for the Angels’ Rally Monkey to become more tiresome than a George Steinbrenner concession speech.”

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Trivia answer: Quarterback Warren Moon, 161, with four franchises.

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Young and impressionable: Mississippi State football Coach Jackie Sherrill, defending his mistake-prone players: “You can say I do a terrible job. You can say I can’t coach. But don’t say those things about 18-, 19-, 20-year-old kids.”

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And finally: Hall of Fame pitcher Jim Palmer, who pitched in six World Series, commenting on Barry Bonds to Ron Rapoport of the Chicago Sun-Times: “You just don’t want to pitch to him. You watch ‘SportsCenter’ and you see that most home-run pitches are down the middle, but that’s not the case with Bonds. You throw him low and away and it’s over the fence.”