WEEK 7 BREAKDOWN

CHICAGO AT DETROIT

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Chicago by 3.

Quick slant: Cosmo wants Harrington! Chicago wants Chandler!

Plot: In its current issue, Cosmopolitan magazine includes Detroit rookie quarterback Joey Harrington among its “Hottest Hunks in the U.S.” (In Detroit, one win in three starts for the Lions qualifies one for “hot” status. Not sure about Cosmo’s requirements.) Meanwhile, in Chicago, where hot hunks are slabs of beef charred at Ditka’s, fans and media have tired of Jim Miller and are clamoring for the city’s most eligible backup quarterback -- this year, it’s Chris Chandler. The Bears have an injury-riddled defense and the league’s 29th-ranked rushing attack. Yes, it’s Miller’s fault.

Monday’s headline: “Bears Botch Decisive Field Goal -- Chicago Wants Chandler!”

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BUFFALO AT MIAMI

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Miami by 4.

Quick slant: Dolphins are 5-1 and reeling.

Plot: For a few more hours, Miami rules the football world, with the Hurricanes topping the college polls and the Dolphins perched in the treacherous position as consensus No. 1 in the thousands of NFL “power rankings,” printed weekly because they need to be revised weekly. Next week will be no different, as the Dolphins try to outscore Buffalo’s potent offense without quarterback Jay Fiedler (out six to eight weeks because of a broken thumb) and, most likely, first-team wide receivers Oronde Gadsden and Chris Chambers, also injured. New quarterback Ray Lucas last started a game in 1999.

Monday’s headline: “Dolphins Don’t Party Like It’s 1999”

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CAROLINA AT ATLANTA

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Atlanta by 4.

Quick slant: Having seen enough, Vick says, “Hit me!”

Plot: Chris Weinke versus Doug Johnson -- this one had the makings of, hmm, OK, a matchup that might have interested Florida State and Florida fans before they knew better. Last week, Johnson, filling in for injured Michael Vick, led the Falcons to a 17-10 road victory over the Giants. Which explains why Vick declared himself ready long before Coach Dan Reeves would. Vick says his shoulder is “95%” and maintains his only concern is getting hit by a 300-pound Panther lineman. That drew a laugh from Reeves: “I’d say there’s a real good chance Mike will get hit on Sunday.”

Monday’s headline: “Welcome to October: Weinke’s In, Panthers Lose Fourth Straight”

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MINNESOTA AT NEW YORK JETS

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: New York by 3.

Quick slant: Chad and Randy marshall forward.

Plot: Five years after they connected for 24 touchdowns for the 1997 Marshall Thundering Herd, quarterback Chad Pennington and receiver Randy Moss are reunited, amid less than pleasant circumstances. Pennington makes his second start for the 1-4 Jets, Moss may or may not deem a few passes worthy of his attention for the 1-4 Vikings. Pennington has had to answer many questions about his old college teammate, who declined all interview requests, presumably because he was miffed he didn’t think of Terrell Owens’ hide-the-pen-in-the-sock Monday night routine first.

Monday’s headline: “Thundering Herd of Viking Fans Storms Off Moss Bandwagon”

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SEATTLE AT ST. LOUIS

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: St. Louis by 5.

Quick slant: Bulgermania!

Plot: Now that the Rams’ first out-of-nowhere, feel-good, Chunky Soup-ready quarterback story is sidelined because of a broken finger, St. Louis has gone bonkers over its third-stringer-turned-hero in the conquest of the Raiders, Marc Bulger. Bulger didn’t throw much -- only 21 passes, a decent quarter’s production for Kurt Warner -- but he turned three into touchdowns, causing the NFC to name him its offensive player of the week and Ram Coach Mike Martz to pretty much lose it. Martz on Bulger: “Actually, he’s the best passer we have.” Actual quote. Yes, it had been a long time between Ram victories.

Monday’s headline: “Martz on Bulger: Well, OK, But He’s Still Better Than Dilfer”

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DENVER AT KANSAS CITY

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Denver by 3.

Quick slant: Dick Vermeil’s toast to the NFL: Points all around!

Plot: The Chiefs lead the NFL in scoring, averaging more than 34 points a game, and they are 3-3, suggesting the Kansas City defense might not be quite up to snuff. Or possibly the worst defense of all time. The Chiefs have allowed 2,580 total yards -- on pace to break the ’81 Colts’ NFL record of 6,793. The Chiefs have also yielded 1,889 yards passing -- on pace to break the ’95 Falcons’ record of 4,541. On the plus side: Chief quarterback Trent Green has flung enough touchdown passes to outscore his defense every other week. On the down side: Green has a bad ankle and is only 60-40 to play Sunday.

Monday’s headline: “Four More TDs for Holmes; Chiefs Fall to 3-4”

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SAN FRANCISCO AT NEW ORLEANS

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

TV: Channel 11.

The line: New Orleans by 2.

Quick slant: Terrell Owens, travel writer, visits New Orleans.

Plot: Take some dictation, Mr. Owens: The Saints are the best team in the NFC. New Orleans is 5-1, same as Tampa Bay and Green Bay, with one difference: New Orleans is 2-0 against Tampa Bay and Green Bay. The last time the Saints and 49ers met, San Francisco closed out New Orleans’ 0-4 season-ending skid, 38-0. Much has changed since then, including the 49ers, who have injuries to receiver J.J. Stokes, safety Zack Bronson and defensive end John Engelberger and are coming off a short week. Write on, say the Saints.

Monday’s headline: “T.O. and His Pen: Mightier Than the Sword, but Not the Saints”

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JACKSONVILLE AT BALTIMORE

Kickoff: Sunday, 10 a.m.

The line: Baltimore by 1.

Quick slant: Who’s more valuable, Ray Lewis or Mark Brunell?

Plot: Raven linebacker Ray Lewis and Jaguar quarterback Mark Brunell are both questionable for this unexpectedly important game. Last week, the Ravens played without Lewis and, after yielding a first-possession touchdown, held Indianapolis to five field goals and 60 yards rushing in a 22-20 Colt victory. At the same time, Brunell was knocked out of the Jaguars’ 23-14 loss to Tennessee by a first-quarter hit by Samari Rolle, who denied intent to injure. “As much as he throws the ball to me,” Rolle quipped, “why would I try to hurt him?” Brunell’s backup is rookie David Garrard. Take a guess.

Monday’s headline: “It’s Redman Over Garrard; Let’s Leave It at That”

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HOUSTON AT CLEVELAND

Kickoff: Sunday, 1 p.m.

The line: Cleveland by 9.

Quick slant: Browns remember their past, forget their past.

Plot: Apparently, it isn’t enough that the Cleveland Browns’ defensive players resemble traffic cones on the field. Management has decreed they will dress the part as well, forcing the Browns to don orange “classic” jerseys for their game against Houston. Yes, back in 1954, the Browns actually wore orange jerseys, once, in a 35-7 win over Chicago -- then donated the shirts to a local high school after fans complained they couldn’t read the numbers. Orange football jerseys in Cleveland? What, weekly nightmares of John Elway and the Broncos in the playoffs aren’t enough?

Monday’s headline: “Browns to Fans: Orange You Glad Houston’s on the Schedule?”

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SAN DIEGO AT OAKLAND

Kickoff: Sunday, 1 p.m.

TV: Channel 2.

The line: Oakland by 7.

Quick slant: Chargers arrive in Oakland 5-1. Al Davis prepares the usual skulduggery.

Plot: Dave Casper is scheduled to make an appearance at Sunday’s game but no, not at tight end. Casper is 51, only 11 years older than Jerry Rice -- those two have more to talk about than Rice and, say, rookie Phillip Buchanon. Casper is there to pick up his Hall of Fame ring and flaunt it in the faces of the rival Chargers, most of them too young to remember what Casper used to do to San Diego twice a year. Pull up a chair, young Chargers, and listen closely: It was nasty, it was very scary and it is about to happen again.

Monday’s headline: “Casper, Ghosts Haunt Chargers”

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DALLAS AT ARIZONA

Kickoff: Sunday, 1:15 p.m.

The line: Arizona by 3.

Quick slant: Wake up, Arizona! The Cardinals are 3-2!

Plot: Somewhat amazingly, the Cardinals have a winning record this late in the season. Not quite full believers, the Arizona populace has yet to embrace these upstarts -- or even fill more than half the seats for home games. Searching for a reason, Coach Dave McGinnis might have stumbled on it during last Sunday’s week off. “I just watched the ball games, like a normal human being,” he told Sports Illustrated, calling the action “fun stuff.... I can see why this league is the 10,000-pound monster it is. It was that good. It was that compelling.” Of course it was. The Cardinals weren’t playing.

Monday’s headline: “Never mind, Arizona. The Cardinals Are .500”

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WASHINGTON AT GREEN BAY

Kickoff: Sunday, 1:15 p.m.

TV: Channel 11.

The line: Green Bay by 7.

Quick slant: Steve Spurrier is convinced he has found the right quarterback. It must be the receivers’ fault.

Plot: The Packers are 5-1, 22-6 since mid-2000 and Brett Favre is 68-12 at Lambeau Field, where Sunday’s foregone conclusion is scheduled. Perhaps for his own amusement, Washington Coach Spurrier has decided to mess with his receivers -- beginning by benching Derrius Thompson, then reinstating him, then benching the team’s receptions leader, Rod Gardner, and replacing him with Chris Doering. Gardner is “baffled,” but Doering suggests it “lets you know nothing is permanent.” In Spurrier’s world, everybody is temporary help.

Monday’s headline: “Spurrier Shuffles Back to D.C. 2-4”

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TAMPA BAY AT PHILADELPHIA

Kickoff: Sunday, 1:15 p.m.

The line: Philadelphia by 3.

Quick slant: The Why Tony Dungy’s Now In Indianapolis Bowl.

Plot: Jon Gruden, who served as the Eagles’ offensive coordinator from 1992-94, knows why he’s here: His predecessor, Tony Dungy, couldn’t win a playoff game at Veterans Stadium -- couldn’t figure out how to score a touchdown in 21-3 and 31-9 defeats -- and so the Buccaneers moved him out and traded for Gruden. Gruden’s 5-1 in Tampa, with the league’s top-ranked defense, and the Eagles are 3-2 with the No. 3 defense. Gruden remembers driving to work during his Philly years and being greeted by fans flipping him off. “Really, it was fun, honest,” Gruden told ESPN.com. Just as it will be Sunday.

Monday’s headline: “No Change, No Fun for Gruden, Bucs”

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INDIANAPOLIS AT PITTSBURGH

Kickoff: Monday, 6 p.m.

TV: Channel 7

The line: Pittsburgh by 4.

Quick slant: Remember 1968!

Plot: Since the Colts last defeated the Steelers in Pittsburgh, the Colts lost to the Jets in the Super Bowl, the Colts defeated the Cowboys in the Super Bowl, Bert Jones came and went, the Baltimore Colts came and went. Baltimore or Indianapolis, the Colts haven’t won at Pittsburgh since 1968, and are 1-11 all-time there. Despite a 4-1 record and an upgraded defense, they are underdogs again. Three reasons: 1) the Colts needed five field goals last week to hold off the Ravens; 2) the Steelers have rediscovered the forward pass with Tommy Maddox; 3) the game is in Pittsburgh.

Tuesday’s headline: “Colts Have Another Night To Forget”