Jackson Is Positively Back to Old Tricks With Lakers

So I read in the newspapers that Phil Jackson, the big lug who sits on the Laker bench doing nothing until it’s time to stand up every year and accept another ring, wants to finally make himself useful and work as spokesman for the Positive Coaching Alliance.

This comes on the heels of telling everyone the Lakers “could get off to an 0-7 start this season,” and so right away I’m wondering if he’s positive about this.

“It could be 1-6 or 2-5,” he says Tuesday night before the Lakers’ season officially begins, and I’m sure that ought to fire up the guys knowing Phil feels better about their chances of winning a game or two.

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NOW BACK in his sitting-Bulls’ days when Phil perfected the art of doing nothing while watching Michael Jordan make him look so smart, Jackson read the book: “Positive Coaching: Building Character and Self Esteem through Sports.” I’m guessing Mike Ditka wasn’t the author.

Anyway, according to this book, a coach should be promoting a 5-1 praise-criticism ratio, which probably explains why sometimes Jackson just sits there doing nothing: Do you think you could think of five positive things to say to Isaiah Rider?

“We have 40 million kids playing youth sports in this country,” Phil is quoted as saying in the newspaper, “yet PCA’s research shows 70% stop by age 13, many citing the win-at-all-costs experience.”

I’ve always thought the Lakers could go 82-0 if they elected to play hard every night, but there’s never been an attempt here to win at all costs during the regular season, and now we know why.

It’d be tough to win in the playoffs if Kobe or Shaq quit because they were tired of being pushed to succeed by a mean coach.

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I WAS watching TV the other night and Jeanie Buss was on and talking about how her boyfriend didn’t get a single vote when it came to picking the NBA coach of the year last season. I’ve never received a vote for writer of the year, and the wife hasn’t said a word in my defense. She hasn’t read any of my columns either, and that’s probably a good thing.

Jeanie, of course, is just trying to butter up Phil in the hopes he might coach the U.S. Olympic team, take her to Greece in 2004 and see the sights. How much coaching do you think there’s going to be when it comes to a bunch of professional All-Stars? Talk about a job tailor-made for Phil

If Jeanie’s arithmetic is correct, Phil has received one vote over the last two years when it comes to coach-of-the-year balloting, and I had no idea Jeanie was allowed to vote. Since it’s pretty obvious he doesn’t do anything much of the year, I asked Phil why he should be getting a ring.

“The coach-of-the-year award is based on the regular season,” he said, and while he has been with the Lakers, his team has a .736 winning percentage in the regular season -- averaging nearly 22 losses a season with Kobe and Shaq on his side.

He has a .776 mark in the playoffs -- including three consecutive titles.

Now you would figure regular-season games would be easier to win than playoff contests, but this guy has been in charge of the team that has won it all nine of the last 12 years.

I guess that tells you when it comes to winning at all costs, Phil’s the coach of the year, and everyone else in the NBA might as well just call it quits.

The only concern now is the Lakers don’t go 0-82 in the regular season and miss the playoffs.

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ON PAGE A15 in The Times on Monday, there was a very nice JC Penney ad congratulating the Angels and showing World Series Angels’ T-shirts with this offer in small print: “Commemorative World Series Championship Baseball is yours FREE with any $30 Giants’ purchase.” You’ve got to buy $30 of Giants’ junk to get a free baseball -- hold me back.

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ON PAGE A24 in The Times’ on Monday, there was a very nice Robinsons-May ad congratulating the Angels and displaying “limited edition Waterford Crystal” baseball bats and caps with each numbered and including a certificate of authenticity. Only one problem: The logo pictured on the crystal Angels’ cap is last year’s logo -- making them real collector’s items.

Robinsons-May issued a release, after several Angel fans brought it to the attention of operators taking orders, explaining the official Waterford crystal caps will include the “new” Angels’ logo when orders are filled. It’ll only cost you $165 to be sure.

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DAVID H. e-mailed to ask: “Just out of curiosity, how is it that UCLA’s basketball coach, several young girls and a good portion of his team are in field box seats for Game 6 of the World Series? At $145 a seat, that would seem a little high for a student to afford on their stipend.”

So I asked Coach Steve Lavin, and he had an explanation. He said none of his current players were with him when he attended the game. He said he treated his girlfriend, her friends, several former players and a former team manager to the field level seats. I would imagine his current players were back on campus in study hall.

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THE NICE thing about Disney owning the Angels -- I’m sure Disney just deducted the cost of admission to Disneyland and California Adventure from the players’ paychecks before they entered each park to ride in the parade.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Dale Red:

“The most illuminating information to come out of Fox’s World Series broadcasts was total accumulated miles of Bonds’ career home runs. I think it was 42 or 43. Why do I need to know this? Who could possibly keep track?”

Maybe Ross Porter is really the brains behind Fox.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.