Funny Cide and Other Heroes End Up All Wet

Contrary to advance billing and media hyperventilation, Funny Cide did not win the Triple Crown, Roger Clemens did not win his 300th game and the New Jersey Devils did not win the Stanley Cup on Saturday.

Or to put it into hockey parlance, since the Ducks still have the floor and stubbornly refuse to take a seat:

History shoots!

Kick save, Empire Maker ... and Eric Karros ... and Jean-Sebastien Giguere.

Channel-surfing from one big tease to another, Supposedly Super Saturday more resembled the waiting area at a fogged-in airport. Nothing coming and going as scheduled, lots of glum faces everywhere you looked -- many of them belonging to people with press passes and microphones.

“A dark and gray Belmont Park” was how NBC’s Tom Hammond described the setting of the 135th Belmont Stakes. He wasn’t only talking about the weather. Disappointment reigned over NBC’s coverage of the race, pooling up like the rain puddles that bogged down Funny Cide’s quest to become horse racing’s 12th Triple Crown winner.

Five minutes before the race, Bob Costas outlined the anticipation thusly:

“Obviously, any Triple Crown winner, whenever it happens would be a huge story. But this year, you get the feeling that the whole story surrounding Funny Cide has made him the sentimental choice, not just here at his home track but across the nation. And horse racing folks have been waiting a long time for this -- a story that can revitalize the sport with the general public.

“Just a few weeks from now, the film version of Laura Hillenbrand’s lyrical best-seller ‘Seabiscuit’ will hit the screens. Back in the late 1930s, Seabiscuit came out of nowhere to become the nation’s favorite. So there are echoes of that here with Funny Cide.

“And horse racing people hope that a popular Triple Crown winner, coupled with a box office success for ‘Seabiscuit,’ might contribute to a horse racing renaissance. Very soon now we’ll see if the first part of that scenario falls into place.”

That’s a lot to hang on one horse and one slog through the mud, not to mention the $5-million prize Visa was dangling in front of Funny Cide, accompanied by specially made commercials that advised viewers that if they wanted to “be there as Funny Cide tries to make history this weekend, bring your Visa card.”

And, if Funny Cide fails, make sure to bring your Visa baseball cap, as jockey Jose Santos did as he stepped in front of the camera to discuss his horse’s party-spoiling third-place finish behind Empire Maker. And then remember to plug the credit card company when acknowledging, as Santos did, that “We wanted to win the Visa Triple Crown, definitely, for New York, but, circumstances....It’s a race horse. He was third-best today.”

America’s Horse was third at Belmont, and the Yankees’ old horse did not get out of the seventh inning at Chicago. Halfway across the country, Clemens was bidding for his 300th victory, which wasn’t going to save a sport or spark any baseball renaissance, but it might help distract attention from Sammy Sosa’s corked bat for a few hours.

For the second time in as many starts, Clemens was done in by inclement relief pitching. Saturday, he had a 1-0 lead with one out in the seventh inning, eight outs away, before he yielded a ground ball single to Sosa and walked Moises Alou.

Out of the Yankee dugout stepped Manager Joe Torre to rain on this crusade. As Torre signaled for a reliever, boos and cries of “Come on, leave him in!” were picked up by Fox’s microphones.

“Boy,” said play-by-play man Joe Buck, “unless Roger Clemens said something like, ‘Take me out if I don’t get him,’ I would have a tough time justifying taking Clemens out of this game.”

Analyst Tim McCarver agreed.

Those undecided were swung over as soon as reliever Juan Acevedo made his first pitch to Eric Karros.

Over Wrigley Field’s left-field wall, three-run home run, Clemens’ 300th will have to wait until Friday against St. Louis, at the earliest.

A few hours after that, the Devils, one win away from their third Stanley Cup, went for the knockout punch at Anaheim. After figuratively flooring the Ducks’ Paul Kariya for five games, Scott Stevens did it for real at the Pond, knocking Kariya woozy and out of the game for several minutes.

Stevens hit Kariya so hard, he had a flash of reverse amnesia -- he suddenly remembered he was Paul Kariya -- and soon, the Duck captain was slamming the puck past Martin Brodeur for his first goal of the finals en route to a series-extending 5-2 Anaheim triumph.

And so, the Stanley Cup went back in its crate and was shipped east. Somebody will take it home Tuesday. And Clemens, eventually, will win another game. It’s a long season.

But the Triple Crown has been lost for another year, maybe longer. And that cast such a pall over Belmont Park, even John Chandler, president of the farm that owns Empire Maker, felt the need to apologize.

“We’re very sorry that New York didn’t get the Triple Crown for the New York-bred [horse],” he said. “But I’ve got the next best thing -- a New York-bred trainer [Bobby Frankel].”

Back over to you, Seabiscuit.