Miami Needed an Infield Try Rule

Cheer up, New England sports fans. Your football team won a game Sunday, in overtime, on the road, over Miami, basically because the Chicago Cubs messed up their World Series bid worse than the Red Sox.

Suppose Steve Bartman doesn’t interfere with that foul ball in Game 6. Suppose Moises Alou catches that fly, and Alex Gonzalez picks up that grounder, and Mark Prior keeps his poise and the Cubs don’t turn a 3-0 lead into an 8-3 city- and series-savaging defeat.

Those would have been the Cubs, not the Florida Marlins, digging in at Yankee Stadium Sunday night.

That would have meant the infield at Pro Player Stadium, where the Marlins and the Miami Dolphins play their home games, would have been covered with grass, as it normally is this time of the year.

That would have left Dolphin Olindo Mare a much better kicking surface when he attempted potential game-winning field goals against the New England Patriots near the end of regulation and again during overtime.

Instead, Mare twice had to kick off the dirt infield.

The first, coming with less than two minutes left in the fourth quarter, was blocked by New England defensive end Richard Seymour.

The second, coming after New England won -- and lost -- the overtime coin toss (more on that later), sailed wide right.

Hanging on by the skin of the infield, the Patriots staved off sudden-defeat long enough to buy Tom Brady one final pass and Troy Brown one final deep route. Brown beat the coverage, Brady hit him in full stride and, 82 yards later, a long, bitter scrap between AFC East rivals was over.

Patriots 19, Dolphins 13.

Assist, Cubs.

Miami scratched off the list of potential home relocation sites for Bartman.

Poor Bartman. His life has been turned upside down just because he picked a really lousy time to go souvenir hunting at Wrigley Field. Anybody can make a big mistake. Take referee Gerald Austin, who flipped the coin to decide whether the Dolphins or the Patriots would receive the overtime kickoff.

The Patriots called tails.

They swear they saw the coin nestling on the grass showing tails.

Did Austin bobble the coin when he stooped to retrieve it? The Patriots claim he did, saying he unintentionally flipped the coin over as he picked it up, revealing heads -- and giving the ball to the Dolphins.

Despite their angry protests, the Patriots were forced to kick. Trying to make the best of a bad situation, they chose which end zone they would defend, making the Dolphins drive to the dirt end of the field.

Twice in a span of five minutes, Mare failed to convert 35-yard attempts off the infield. He blew the double play. He gave the Patriots a few extra swings. With the last one, Brady went deep and New England won in Miami for the first time in six tries.

It’s funny how the dominos fall. Bill Parcells said no to Tampa Bay, which meant Tampa Bay would have to hire Jon Gruden away from Oakland, which eventually led to Gruden’s beating San Francisco and Oakland on the way to the Vince Lombardi Trophy, which led to Steve Mariucci getting fired by San Francisco and hired by Detroit, which led to the following Sunday matchups:

Parcells against Mariucci in Detroit.

Gruden against the 49ers in San Francisco.

Parcells lost his first game as coach of the Dallas Cowboys. Mariucci won his first game as coach of the Lions. Since then, Parcells hasn’t lost again and Mariucci hasn’t won again. Dallas’ 38-7 triumph at Ford Field left the Cowboys at 5-1 -- equaling their final win totals for each of the 2000, 2001 and 2002 seasons -- while dropping the Lions to 1-5.

Meanwhile, in San Francisco, where Dennis Erickson-in-for-Mariucci remains a work in progress, there now is a tangible comparison guide:

In January, in Mariucci’s last game with the 49ers, Tampa Bay won, 31-6.

Sunday, in Erickson’s sixth game with the 49ers, San Francisco defeated Tampa Bay, 24-7.

That’s two losses in 14 days for the defending Super Bowl champions -- and three in six decisions.

Super Bowl hangover remains an ongoing NFL condition. After playing in Super Bowl XXXVI, St. Louis and New England failed to qualify for the 2002 playoffs. After playing in Super Bowl XXXVII, Tampa Bay and Oakland are a combined 5-7 -- with the 2-4 Raiders tackling the 6-0 Kansas City Chiefs tonight.

Strangely, the Buccaneers suddenly aren’t tackling anybody. The defense that once ruled the league has surrendered 68 points in its last 10 quarters -- and was shredded for 212 yards by a 49er ground attack led by Garrison Hearst (117 yards) and Kevan Barlow (75).

Those yards enabled the 49ers to set the stage for Terrell Owens in his latest round of Anything Moss Can Do I Can Do Better. Earlier Sunday, Minnesota receiver Randy Moss set the bar high with his no-look, nonchalant, over-the-shoulder lateral to Moe Williams for a touchdown in the Vikings’ 28-20 victory over Denver. Owens countered by taking a five-yard pass from Jeff Garcia and turning the Tampa Bay Pro Bowl defenders into traffic cones en route to a game-breaking 75-yard touchdown play.

The Vikings are undefeated at 6-0, same as Kansas City, and on track for a Feb. 1 rematch of Super Bowl IV. The Vikings and the Chiefs are the last unbeaten teams in the NFL, with Carolina (5-1) finally succumbing to the inevitable and Steve McNair in a 37-17 home loss to Tennessee.

And, on the other end of the spectrum, the San Diego Chargers at last left the ranks of the winless as Marty Schottenheimer went home to Cleveland, witnessed the weird sight of players called Browns dressed in orange shirts and the weirder sight of Charger players outscoring other players. San Diego won, 26-20, to improve its record to 1-5, leaving the NFL with no winless teams this season.

So Sunday wasn’t a total waste for Florida, which saw the Marlins, Dolphins and Buccaneers all lose important games. With the Chargers finally winning, the 1976 Buccaneers remain the only team in NFL history to lose all of its regular-season games.

Party on, Florida sports fans.