Asian Tragedy Is a Painful Reminder

Dunia Meza’s son called his mother to the television set Monday morning.

On the screen were images of the destruction wrought by southern Asia’s giant earthquake and tsunami that killed tens of thousands of people.

“I wouldn’t want to be there. I understand what that’s like, the desperation,” said Ramon Jr., 14. “Those poor people.”

As Meza watched the wrenching scenes from the Indian Ocean, images from a year ago flashed in her head: The picnic in the mountains last Christmas, the unexpected rain, a growl in the air, and the sudden deluge of water, boulders and trees that forever split her family.

“When I saw people on the news [in Asia] trying to stay on the cars, I remembered that day, scratching my way to the top of that hill,” said Meza, 31.

She remembers how the building where she had last seen Ramon Jr., 11-year-old Edgar David and her husband, Ramon Sr., 29, was obliterated by a surge of muddy water and debris.

“I fell to my knees,” she recalled. She begged for God to spare her family.

Fourteen people died when that flash flood swept through the campsite in the San Bernardino Mountains where Meza and other members of a church group were celebrating Christmas.

Her husband and son Edgar were among the victims.

She was able to cling to 8-year-old Jose. An hour later, she was reunited with Ramon Jr. at a hospital. They were among only 10 survivors of the flood.

It has been a year of grief and grinding recovery for the Meza family, though she said she has gotten through it because of her faith and the help of friends and strangers who donated money and offered other assistance.

Edgar’s body was not found until April, four months after the tragedy.

Meza said her family still struggles to readjust. Jose, now 9, wears his father’s muscle shirts.

“He’s a little chubby, so they fit him,” Meza said with a laugh. “He won’t let me get rid of his father’s clothes. To him, his father was his hero.”

At night, Jose wears one of his father’s gray work shirts to sleep. He has become keenly interested in the Weather Channel and worries about traveling during heavy rains. A few months ago the family was going to take a trip to Los Angeles, but Jose saw on television that heavy rain was forecast there.

“I won’t go! I won’t go!” he told his mother. “He was afraid,” she said. “I explained to him that what had happened to us was something that wouldn’t be repeated.”

Ramon Jr. doesn’t like talking about last Christmas, but his strong demeanor shows cracks. He listens to Christian music in his room. Lyrics from a favorite song promise that God “will cure all my wounds, he will heal all.”

Ramon Jr. said he wanted to set an example for his little brother.

“His eyes are always on me. I want him to follow the right path,” he said. “I try not to show too much emotion. I cry, but only when I’m alone. My little brother shows it. I don’t.”

Meza said she wants to help her two remaining sons overcome the trauma because she thinks something good can come to others.

“There will be more disasters like this in the future,” she said. “And I think my boys can one day be prepared to help other people, because of what they went through. Every day, they’re healing a little bit more.”

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Meza’s is just one of the stories of the demands that grief made this year on the faith of members of Iglesia de Dios de la Profecia, said Pastor Emilio Ruedas. All but two of the dead and most of the survivors were parishioners of that San Bernardino church. But Ruedas said that in the year since, he has seen signs of restoration.

“In the beginning, I read from scripture and told them, ‘God will help you. God will bless you in this same earth that has afflicted you,’ ” Ruedas said.

On Sunday, a simple brick monument was dedicated to those who perished. In part, it reads: “In memory of our brothers who left with the Lord on Dec. 25, 2003. We remember them with love.”

The campground where the flash flood took place is actually owned by another church, St. Sophia’s in Los Angeles.

It has been closed since the Christmas flood a year ago.

The mud has dried and hardened and weeds have sprouted. Huge boulders remain scattered about. Although the property is fenced now, most of the buildings have been looted, said Perry Skaggs, who runs youth camps for St. Sophia’s.

In August, Skaggs and some camp employees returned to retrieve what remained of religious items, crosses and other icons. A large cast iron bell that had been used at the camp was recovered and has been mounted at the St. Sophia Cathedral in Los Angeles.

“We took as much as we could,” Skaggs said. “Things to remind us and give us a touchstone for some of the memories that were wrapped in that site.”

This past summer, a new camp at Crestline played host to about 100 children, Skaggs said. There were many questions about the flash flood, and about Jorge Monzon and his family, the camp caretakers who were killed in the flood.

“There was a lot emotionally and spiritually tied to that site,” Skaggs said. “A lot of the kids knew Jorge. His young daughter and my daughter practically grew up together during the summers. His family was involved in a lot of the things we did.... They were part of the family.”

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Dunia Meza remembers the laughter and food at that Christmas picnic. Adults huddled in one of the buildings munching on Guatemalan tamales as children frolicked outside on playground equipment.

Then the rain began falling. People started running as they saw mud begin to flow down through the center of the camp.

“It was like we had a target on us that day,” said Meza.

She recalls chasing down son Jose and climbing to higher ground.

Meza’s sister, Rocio Camacho, 27, lost her husband, Carlos. Camacho was able to clutch and save her 7-year-old daughter, Abigail.

Only later, lying in a hospital bed, did Meza learn that Ramon Jr. had survived. He had grabbed onto a fence amid the torrent of mud and rocks.

“When I saw Ramon in the hospital, I said there is no doubt that God is good,” she said.

The body of Meza’s husband was found a few days later. But rescuers could not find young Edgar’s body. Months passed.

“I told God, ‘If you give me my son, I promise I will find some joy,’ ” she said.

In April, Meza dreamed that rescuers had found her son’s body.

The next day, authorities recovered Edgar’s body.

“It would have been so much sadder for me had they never found my child,” she said. “Now, at least I have a place to visit him, to take some flowers.”

“I think I’m going to find my joy,” Meza said. “I’ve really been putting a lot of effort into it, because God delivered on his word.”

She said her family is pushing ahead as best as they can. They tried to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas, but it was difficult, she said.

“There were empty seats,” Meza said. “We tried, but it wasn’t the same. This year was so ... so different from others.”

On Christmas, she and the boys went to church and later visited the cemetery where their loved ones are buried. They sang.

On Sunday, the day a memorial was dedicated at their church for those who died in the flash flood, Ramon Jr. went against his casual nature and wore dress shoes, pants and a crisp, white shirt, his mother said.

Ramon Jr. said he did it for “my Dad and for my God. I have to give 100% for both.”

For Meza, the day was part of the healing.

“I think that day they were able to feel their father near them again for the first time in a long time,” she said.