This Goes to Show That Love Can’t Conquer All

You might find this hard to believe, but I’m a big supporter of hecklers, and yet I have a big problem with the guy who got on the nerves of Davis Love in Sunday’s golf match.

The way I understand it, the heckler let out a “Whoop!” when Love missed a putt on the 20th hole to make it an even match with Tiger Woods, and then later started yelling, “No Love,” as Love stepped on the fifth tee.

How embarrassing is that to be singled out as a jerk on national TV, your picture in newspapers everywhere the next day, and the best you can come up with is “Whoop!” and “No Love.”

Love said he was on the brink of walking off the course because of all this abuse. I wonder how he would handle a Page 2 column -- he might never play again.

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LOVE SAID he lost a hole in the match because someone yelled, “Whoop!” and “No Love” at him. The big meanie.

Reports said the heckler did not yell at Love during his backswing. That’s when I knew the heckler wasn’t Sports Editor Bill Dwyre. The guy was just rooting against Love, and Love responded like a crybaby, which means he’d fit right in with the Lakers -- if he was an athlete.

But he’s just a golfer. And he demanded silence, didn’t get it, and insisted that the heckler, who was wearing a Woods’ cap, be removed. Imagine how many spectators would be left if they removed all of Woods’ fans.

“I was not going to carry on until somebody got kicked out because he had already cost me a hole,” Love said. “ ... I hit an awful shot because he rattled me and I was not going to put up with it.”

It’d have been more interesting had he said, “Tiger is kicking my butt and I’m not going to put up with it.”

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LOVE ALSO complained about the fans who offered him free beers. I repeat, he complained because people were offering him free beer. Do you really believe: “What the world needs now, is Love, sweet Love?”

Love said it happened at least five times. I guess I’m not the only one who wouldn’t mind seeing what the drip would be like with a little buzz.

“I don’t need a beer when I just birdied a hole or when I just bogeyed a hole,” he said. “People just assume we’re out here screwing around, and we’re not screwing around. We’re playing hard.”

Had he said, “It’s not exactly like we’re out here working up a sweat,” I’d have bought that.

” ... I don’t come into your office and screw you up,” he continued. “Don’t come into my office and screw me up.” That’s the first athlete I’ve ever heard urging the paying customers to stay home, but then the arrogance of today’s pro athlete knows no boundaries.

It’s kind of interesting, though, to note that ABC had exactly what it wanted with the championship coming down to Woods, and yet the TV ratings were down 17%. Last year the final day also featured Woods, but matched against David Toms, who apparently has more appeal than Love.

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LOVE HEARD “Whoop?” and “No Love,” and said it’s an indication of what’s wrong with mankind.

“I think it’s our whole society. They don’t respect what other people do, don’t respect your elders, don’t respect other people’s space, don’t respect traditions or etiquette or customs.

“You see it in every sport.... “ Love said, and well, that’s just not true.

You see fans yelling, screaming and stomping their feet in just about every other sport, but if you do that in golf, you’ll be regarded as one of the worst human beings ever afforded the privilege of spending time with rich folk.

I skipped the get-together at Riviera this year because the silence is insufferable, and almost reverential as these plastic men put you to sleep.

Golf needs a good heckler, or hecklers. Do you think the TV ratings drop 17% if fans are allowed to yell at golfers? Ratings would skyrocket with viewers waiting for the meltdown. Given Love’s reaction to date, we’d be looking at Don Knotts by the second hole. Now that’s entertainment.

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UCLA RECRUITS ripped the current basketball team Saturday in the Orange County Register with high school senior Arron Afflalo saying, “ ... You kind of get the sense that they’re not competing very hard.”

In The Times’ on Monday it was Notre Dame players ridiculing the Bruins. “They were a team that was really sloppy,” said Notre Dame guard Chris Thomas.

“I didn’t even have to ice down [after the game],” said center Tom Timmermans, who scored a career-high 20 points in the Irish win.

I read that more as a commentary of the work of Coach Ben Howland, who is paid to make his athletes give it their all.

There’s no question Howland is waiting for his own recruits, but then I wonder if Howland has unknowingly delivered that same message to his current players, who understand his heart is really not into improving them.

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WHEN LAKER Coach Phil Jackson says Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal are “like Cain and Abel,” I sure hope that doesn’t mean he’s predicting we’re going to have to deal with murder charges, too, on top of everything else going on with this team.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in a telephone message from Kato Kaelin:

“I read your article and saw my name. Yes, I was supposed to play in the [Commerce Casino] poker tournament, but I was working. That’s right, I have a job -- in comedy development for National Lampoon. I also got a ticket to go to the tourney in Aruba -- bet you don’t.”

Whose house will you be staying in?

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.