Bryant Flies in a Different Atmosphere Than Most

Here we go again: another week of synchronizing our watches to Kobe Bryant court time.

Thursday, Bryant once again will play beat the clock with a Colorado judge and make his dehydration dash to Staples Center for Game 4 with the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Although this reality show may be dead-serious important to the accuser and the accused, there is nothing heroic about Bryant flying back from Colorado court dates to lead the Lakers to victories.

Does it take stamina to do what Bryant has done?

Sure.

Does it take incredible focus?

Absolutely.

Let’s not forget, though, why Bryant is in Colorado, and that it’s nobody’s fault but his.

Let’s not forget that he is a multimillionaire being escorted to and from his court appearances in a private jet not afforded your average business traveler.

What about the countless widget salesmen who take red-eye flights to see their sons play Little League games?

I’d have more respect for Bryant if, of course, he didn’t need to be in Colorado in the first place.

But what if he were required to cope once with the real-life world of planes, trains and automobiles:

Suppose, on his way back to Laker games, Bryant had to:

* Top-off his rental car with gas. Many airports don’t have gas stations anywhere near the airport so you’ll be forced (my guess) to pay the exorbitant refueling charge.

Imagine Bryant rolling down his car window and asking someone the whereabouts of the nearest service station and the guy saying, “You don’t have enough gas to get there.”

* Connect through Las Vegas on his way back to save the Lakers an extra 50 bucks.

* Arrive two hours early at the airport for an overbooked flight that he knew was going to leave an hour late.

* Endure an extensive wand search at airport security by a guy who really seems to enjoy his job.

* Know the mental anguish of having a flight attendant laugh at his request for a first-class upgrade.

* Discover at check-in that he’s got the flight right, but it was ticketed for yesterday.

* Pay $9.50 for a hockey-puck hard cheese bagel that’s been sitting under a hot lamp all day.

* Sit next to a guy on the plane who has brought nothing to read except the emergency exit card, so he’s going to kill time by telling you all about his insect collection.

(You think, after this, Bryant could lift his arms to make a jump shot?).

* Get jostled from quality, bobble-head airplane sleep by a pilot who once worked the Jungle Cruise ride at Disneyland and now wants to point out the White Sands of New Mexico to you, out the left side of the aircraft. Naturally, you’re seated on the right side.

* Sit in the middle seat between two men who just wrapped up cameo appearances in the movie “Super Size Me.”

Just once I’d like to see:

* Bryant have to jam earplugs halfway into his brain to take the edge off a screaming baby whose mother says she may have erred by allowing junior to take a long nap before the flight.

* Bryant land at LAX only to discover that he can’t find his claim ticket for the park-and-shuttle on Sepulveda.

Or maybe that’s just me.

More second thoughts and parting shots ...

* Mike Montgomery leaves Stanford to coach Golden State Warriors.

We’d be remiss if we did not point out some striking differences between the jobs.

College: Nick can excel.

Pro: Nick Van Exel.

College: bed checks.

Pro: big checks.

College: Spell well.

Pro: Sprewell.

College: GPA.

Pro: CPA.

College: crib notes.

Pro: “MTV Cribs.”

College: Xs and O’s.

Pro: Lexus and Rolls.

College: home tutors.

Pro: Tudor homes.

College: Make sure you get on team bus.

Pro: Make sure you get on Team Buss.

* Laker center Shaquille O’Neal says, “If I keep playing, my name will be inscripted in the NBA bible for many years to come.”

How about a little more Noah’s arc on those foul shots?

* Randy Johnson pitches perfect game at age 40.

Johnson has rearranged the steps at his house. There are now 27 up and 27 down.

* Roger Clemens is roughed up for six runs in five innings against Cincinnati Reds.

And the Sports Illustrated cover jinx lives.

* Charles Barkley turns down chance to become analyst on “Monday Night Football.”

Barkley breezed through an audition in which he spat on a child and playfully tossed announcer Al Michaels through a plate-glass window, but decided he could do far more good in the world rating sitcoms as a TNT basketball analyst.

* Ohio State punter Albert Trapasso arrested on second underage drinking charge.

Trapasso explained to authorities that he mistakenly entered a pint, pass and kick contest.

* Tom Glavine nearly becomes first New York Met pitcher to throw a no-hitter.

New York Met batters are another story. Historians note there were plenty of no-hitters on the 1962 team that lost 120 games.

* Former heavyweight champion Riddick Bowe vows to fight again after being released from prison.

Bowe reportedly lost almost 100 pounds behind bars and has never been in better shape, which raises the question: was that a jail sentence or a fitness membership?

* Two Brigham Young football players charged with robbery and assault.

One more run-in with the law and we start calling it Book ‘em Young University.