If Tags Wants No Respect, He’s Come to Right Place

With the recent passing of Rodney Dangerfield, that pretty much leaves Paul Tagliabue as the funniest man in the country, which makes it quite a coup, getting the comedian to agree to be the first guest on Sunday’s inaugural father/daughter gabfest.

The radio show, which is not expected to be on the air more than a couple of weeks based on early practice runs, will also include an interview with Phil Jackson’s hot tub companion, Jeanie Buss, who I hope will provide dating tips for the daughter who can’t get a date.

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FOR THE record, I was there the moment the Simers kid was born -- emerging all blue in color. I understand why women spend the rest of their lives putting on makeup. The kid never made a sound, which doesn’t bode well come Sunday when the red light goes on.

If she freezes as she did on her birth day, I suppose I could read excerpts from previous Page 2 columns. Can’t be more boring than listening to Hacksaw. I remain hopeful, though, that she’ll take after her mother and there’ll be no shutting her up.

The kid is an accountant, which tells you what she knows about sports. When she talks to Tagliabue, I’d imagine she’ll want to know what he thinks of “Desperate Housewives.” (Now we’ll see just how good his staff is when it comes to briefing him.)

The father/daughter show on XTRA Sports 690 & 1150 at 9 a.m., which is being called “Simers Says,” is supposed to begin with the daughter and me talking to each other nonstop for nine minutes. I’m usually telling her to go to her room without dinner in half that time, so I’m not surprised after three practice runs that we’ve failed to carry on a conversation for the full time yet.

Jeanie & Tags better be good, or it’s going to be Dead Air Sunday.

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I’VE probably caught Tags’ standup routine a couple of hundred times since he became NFL commissioner 15 years ago this month, and he never fails to crack me up. Nobody can be that dull unless he’s secretly putting everyone on, which makes him hilarious.

By the way, it took 12 ballots for NFL owners to lock on to Tags, which goes to show you it takes some people a little longer than others to warm up to the big guy.

But when they do ... a Harris Poll released Wednesday indicated that the NFL, under his leadership, now leads major league baseball by a 2-1 margin as America’s favorite sport. (The first thing you learn in radio is that if you say something nice about a guy, he’ll go on the air with you.)

Tags doesn’t do many radio or TV interviews, I presume because it’s difficult to find people willing to say something nice about him.

I know he addresses the media during Super Bowl week and ESPN has taken to televising it, but keeping in mind that ESPN is also responsible for “Cold Pizza” and “Around the Shouting Horn,” it’s pretty obvious ESPN will put anyone on TV.

I’m looking forward to talking to Tags, though, because I think he really wants to place a team in L.A., and for the first time since covering this story dating to 1994, I believe it’s going to happen. (I used the word “dating” on purpose, because every time the daughter hears it, she cringes.)

I’ve got the NFL pegged to return in 2008, and I want a yes or no from Tags on whether he agrees -- before he starts with the jokes.

I think the NFL will move the Saints into the Coliseum, and although I know he can’t confirm that, I’d like to hear him rule out expansion and narrow the L.A. field to the Saints, Colts and Vikings. Notice I left out the Chargers.

I want to hear him say it: “The NFL is going to pay for the construction of a new stadium in Los Angeles.” I also want to bring up “Anaheim,” and listen closely to see whether he giggles.

I know the daughter is real excited to talk to Tags too, because she’s hoping to get some help with her fantasy football team. Atlanta kicker Jay Feely or New Orleans’ John Carney? I hope he’s done his homework.

I’ve also told her what a hoot he can be, and that he’s married, so she can relax, enjoy herself and not get upset if he doesn’t ask for her number.

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AS FOR Buss, she obviously has guts. She’s exposing herself -- and although she’s obviously done that before, this will be different, given the hullabaloo surrounding Jackson’s book and the teasing she has taken here over the years.

I know the daughter seems particularly keen for some reason on finding out what role Buss’ father plays in deciding how she lives her life. If for any reason the conversation shifts to the WNBA, we will be taking an extended commercial break.

The radio bit will be a warmup for the LA Sports & Entertainment Commission’s “Basketball 101 with the Los Angeles Lakers,” which will feature Buss, Penny Marshall, Tex Winter, Ann Meyers Drysdale and Norm Nixon talking fundamentals and the intricacies of basketball to the public on Nov. 4 at Staples Center (ticket information: (213) 236-2354).

We won’t have as much time with Buss as the folks at Basketball 101 will have, but I’m sure the daughter will be checking with Buss to find out what Jackson’s availability might be these days.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Shabi Asghar:

“(Re: column on Phil Jackson). In all my years of defending reporters and the media from the public who criticize them, I’ve finally come across a reporter that even I could not bring myself to defend. Could you possibly have shown more ignorance and insensitivity?”

Yes. And maybe you could use that to defend me.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.