Owens Measures This Well

Terrell Owens and Chad Johnson shot off their mouths last week.

And the Dolphins are bad and the Bears need a quarterback and the Steeler fans like Ben Roethlisberger.

Owens talks trash and taunts opposing defensive backs because he’s T.O, and in T.O.’s world, that’s part of the job description.

Johnson talks trash and taunts opposing backs because he wants to be T.O.

Therein lies a big difference.

Also: The real T.O. plays for the Philadelphia Eagles; the wannabe T.O. is a Cincinnati Bengal.

So Owens tried to stir things up before Sunday’s rematch of last season’s NFC title game -- Carolina at Philadelphia -- by calling out Carolina cornerback Ricky Manning Jr., who had three interceptions in the Panthers’ 14-3 victory over the Eagles in January. Owens said Manning wasn’t going to push around the Eagle receivers this time, because Owens was now an Eagle receiver. “This ain’t what he wants,” Owens said, referring, of course, to himself.

Worth noting: Owens said this at a time when the Eagles were undefeated, armed with Donovan McNabb and a clamp-down defense, whereas the Panthers came in limping with a 1-3 record.

What happens at Lincoln Financial Field? Owens catches four passes for 123 yards -- including a 53-yarder over Manning -- and the Eagles pick off four Jake Delhomme passes and Philadelphia wins, 30-8.

This -- and young Chad should be taking notes here -- is known as picking your spot.

Johnson forgot about that important detail when he shipped bottles of Pepto-Bismol to four Cleveland Brown defensive backs, along with a handwritten note to Cleveland cornerback Daylon McCutcheon that read, “Just wanted to add a little color and relief to your week.”

Johnson told reporters he “thought it would be a good idea” because “I’m going to make them sick.”

Actually, it wasn’t all stomach-churning, self-promotional bluster. Johnson has teamed with Procter & Gamble, the Cincinnati-based company that makes Pepto-Bismol, to promote Breast Cancer Awareness month. Procter & Gamble will donate money to the National Breast Cancer Foundation for every touchdown Johnson scores in October.

That part of the message didn’t get through to the Browns, who limited Johnson to three catches for 37 yards in a 34-17 Cleveland victory.

Johnson didn’t help himself, either, dropping more passes -- four -- than he managed to catch.

So, to review:

Owens popped off while playing for the best team in the NFC; Johnson did it while dressed in Bengal stripes. Advantage, T.O.

Owens made his move before a home game against a banged-up opponent; Johnson made his before a road game against a riled intrastate rival. Advantage, T.O.

Owens knew that if things turned bad on him, McNabb had his back. Johnson went in there with an ever-green quarterback, Carson Palmer, making only his fifth NFL start. Advantage, T.O.

In addition, there was other stuff going on in Cleveland conspiring against Johnson. Brown Coach Butch Davis chose last week to call his starting quarterback, Jeff Garcia, “skittish.” And Owens, piling it on, told Peter King on HBO’s “Inside The NFL” that he left loads of touchdowns on the field when he played with Garcia in San Francisco, claiming that if he had played with a “strong-armed quarterback, a guy who can get the ball down the field, there wouldn’t be any comparison” between Owens and Randy Moss.

By Sunday afternoon, Garcia had heard enough. Focusing his anger on the Bengals’ 30th-ranked defense, Garcia threw for four touchdowns -- including a 99-yarder to Andre Davis -- and a total of 310 yards.

Johnson didn’t have a chance. Owens had every base covered.

Philadelphia is one of three remaining undefeated teams in the NFL. New England and the New York Jets are also 5-0, which is nothing too surprising for the Patriots but once-a-half-century stuff for the Jets. Now in their 45th season, the Jets are 5-0 for the first time.

And next Sunday, 5-0 meets 5-0 when the Patriots play host to the Jets. Around Boston, fans cannot wait. It has become a new tradition in New England: The Red Sox made a mess of it against New York -- better call in the Patriots to clean up.

The Patriots ran their NFL-record winning streak to 20 with a 30-20 home triumph over Seattle. Patriot Coach Bill Belichick wasn’t happy watching his defense yield 20 points at home, but a few hours earlier, Red Sox Manager Terry Francona watched his team lose Game 3 of the American League championship series, at home, to the Yankees, 19-8.

One missed extra-point attempt by the Seahawks, and the Patriots and the Red Sox both would have been tagged for 19 during the same 24-hour period.

Elsewhere in the AFC East, Buffalo and Miami put a combined record of 0-9 on the line at Ralph Wilson Stadium. And when that happens, you know what that means.

Miami walks away 0-6.

The Dolphins had never started a season with six consecutive losses, but then, the Dolphins had never had a season anywhere close to this. Miami lost this one, 20-13, despite 91 rushing yards from Sammy (Don’t Call Me Mercury) Morris, the fourth player to start at running back for the Dolphins in six games.

Jay Fiedler played this game with cracked ribs, which pretty much explains the rest. Fiedler handed Buffalo the decisive touchdown by throwing into the arms of Bill linebacker Takeo Spikes, who needed to travel only 11 yards for the score.

It wasn’t the worst pass thrown Sunday. That distinction went to San Francisco’s Tim Rattay, who looked right and dumped left late in the 49ers’ game against the Jets -- right into the hands of Jet linebacker Jonathan Vilma, sealing New York’s 22-14 victory.

You want skittish? Send those Pepto-Bismol bottles to the Dolphin and 49er locker rooms, two places where they are desperately needed.