Finally, a Little Clarification

Ten pressing questions desperate for clarification as the NFL season entered December:

1. Will the Indianapolis Colts ever lose?

2. Will the Cincinnati Bengals ever beat a decent team?

3. Will Jake Plummer ever get back to being Jake Plummer?

4. Whatever happened to the Carolina Panthers’ rushing game?

5. What do Brad Johnson and Peyton Manning have in common?

6. What do Brad Johnson and Tom Brady have in common?

7. When does Drew Bledsoe pull the trap door on the Dallas Cowboys’ playoff run?

8. How long can the Chicago Bears keep this up with Kyle Orton as their quarterback?

9. If the Buffalo Bills ever again score more than 20 points in a game, how will they celebrate?

10. Which Barber brother is the more valuable player?

Thirteen weeks into the schedule, these were the answers Sunday’s action delivered:

1. Maybe next September or October.

2. Yes. Finally. This just in from Heinz Field: Cincinnati 38, Pittsburgh 31 . . . and is that the Steel Curtain starting to fall on Pittsburgh’s season?

3. One interception in a Thanksgiving overtime victory over Dallas. Two interceptions in a 31-27 loss to Kansas City on Sunday. It. Is. Happening.

Again.

4. It was simply in the wrong hands. Against Atlanta, the Panthers took the ball away from Stephen Davis and gave it instead to DeShaun Foster.

Foster rushes for 131 yards and scores two touchdowns as the Panthers defeat the Falcons for the first time with Michael Vick starting, 24-6.

5. They are undefeated this season as starting quarterbacks, Johnson improving his record to 5-0 with Minnesota’s 21-16 victory over Detroit.

6. They are the only quarterbacks to win Super Bowls since 2001.

Incredibly, Johnson is still in contention for another appearance, with the Vikings, back off the boat deck, in the running for an NFC wild-card spot at 7-5.

7. Um, right about now? Bledsoe was intercepted twice and lost a fumble that was returned for a touchdown in the Cowboys’ 17-10 loss to the New York Giants.

8. If the Bears’ defense keeps this up, maybe until mid-January. Against Green Bay, Orton completed only six more passes than the scoreboard operator, who didn’t have much to do except count Robbie Gould field goals -- there were four of them -- in Chicago’s 19-7 Soldier Field triumph.

9. By dancing giddily, overjoyed by a 21-0 first-quarter lead over the Miami Dolphins, getting so caught up in the excitement they forget to cover Chris Chambers, who goes on to catch 15 passes for 238 yards -- both Dolphin records -- as Miami rallies behind backup quarterback Sage Rosenfels to edge the Bills, 24-23.

10. Sunday, it was a push. Tiki rushed for 115 yards in the Giants’ victory over the Cowboys, and Ronde picked off three of Aaron Brooks’ passes in Tampa Bay’s 10-3 triumph over New Orleans, leaving Tiki’s Giants and Ronde’s Buccaneers seeded fourth and fifth in the NFC, at least for one week.

Thirteen weeks into the schedule and the NFL playoff picture is at last beginning to crystallize, pleasantly so for longtime longshots Chicago, Cincinnati and Jacksonville and not so happily for Pittsburgh and Atlanta.

If the playoffs began today, the Steelers and the Falcons would be on the outside looking in. Sunday’s loss to the Bengals marked the first time Pittsburgh has lost back-to-back starts by Ben Roethlisberger and was the Steelers’ third defeat in a row, dropping Pittsburgh to 7-5, leaving the Steelers seeded eighth in the AFC.

Atlanta’s loss to Carolina also left the Falcons at 7-5, in third place in the NFC South and seeded seventh in the conference, just behind Dallas and just ahead of Minnesota via the league’s tiebreaking procedures.

If the playoffs began today, Seattle and Chicago would be seeded 1-2 in the NFC and sitting out the first week of the postseason ... and how many people had that parlay in August?

If the playoffs began today, San Diego would own the sixth and final spot in the AFC tournament . . . and don’t the Chargers wish?

The Chargers took care of business with a 34-10 rout of archrival Oakland, moving them to 8-4 and within a game of AFC West-leading Denver.

Unfortunately, San Diego has four games left -- the last three of them against 12-0 Indianapolis, 8-4 Kansas City and 9-3 Denver.

More craziness:

* Two of the NFC’s three hottest teams reside in the NFC North. Yes, you can look it up.

The Bears are 9-3 overall and winners of their last eight games, the franchise’s longest winning streak since its Super Bowl championship season of 1985.

The Vikings have won their last five games, equaling the current 5-0 streak of the Seattle Seahawks, who did not play Sunday but still clinched the NFC West title when St. Louis lost to Washington, 24-9.

* The Jacksonville Jaguars are the quietest 9-3 team of the 21st century, in the midst of the quietest five-game winning streak of the 21st century, courtesy of the passing (two touchdown throws) and running (clutch fourth-quarter 28-yard scramble) by backup quarterback David Garrard during a 20-14 victory over Cleveland.

The Jaguars lead all wild-card contenders in the AFC but will face mettle detection next Sunday when they play host to the Colts, 12-0 after a routine 35-3 victory over Tennessee and dead-set on making life miserable for the 1972 Dolphins the rest of the season.

* The Colts are the fifth team to open a season 12-0, joining the ’72 Dolphins, the ’85 Bears, the ’98 Broncos and the ’34 Bears.

Footnote about the ’34 Bears: In the 1930s, it was not uncommon for NFL teams to win games when the quarterback completed six of 17 passes for 68 yards, no touchdowns and one interception.

As did the ’05 Bears on Sunday against Green Bay, with a rookie named Orton illustrating that old-time football is alive and winning in Chicago, only now with face masks and no road games against the Brooklyn Dodgers or the Boston Braves.