It Could Have Been a Bling-Bling Circus

Randy Hill of Foxsports.com was among those hoping Serena Williams would end up playing Mary Pierce at the U.S. Open.

Since Williams began her first match at the Open wearing $40,000 earrings, just imagine all the ear-piercing one-liners.

Trivia time: Who is the only person who was a major league manager and an NFL head coach?

No nonsense: Former NFL coach Mike Ditka told Dan Patrick on ESPN radio that he once fired a player on the spot for cussing him out.

After Patrick asked how he did it, Ditka said, “I told the player to get off the field, I had our equipment man clean out his locker and we gave him a plane ticket home. It wasn’t very complicated.”

Carrying out a theme: Holly Martins, writing on the blog Wonkette about Washington Redskin owner Dan Snyder’s attempt to take control of the Six Flags theme park chain: “Early reports indicate that Snyder is eyeing the theme park’s irksome dancing-old-man-in-a-tux mascot as the Redskins’ next starting quarterback.”

Major imbalance: Ron Rapoport of the Chicago Sun-Times points out that every team in the National League East has a better record than “those adorable first-place San Diego Padres.”

An even better job: Reader Bill Littlejohn, on San Francisco 49er long snapper Brian Jennings’ saying he works only about four minutes a year: “If he played for anyone but the 49ers, he’d only work two minutes a year.”

Help is on the way: Comedian Argus Hamilton, on Oklahoma’s loss to Texas Christian: “How devastated are the Sooner alumni? They just asked Bill Clinton and former President Bush to head up a search for an offensive line.”

Beam them up: Atlanta Brave announcer Chip Caray pointed out that the Cincinnati Reds experienced some problems at their hotel in Atlanta during a weekend series.

“There’s a science-fiction convention in town this weekend,” Caray said. “The players could not get on the elevators because they were filled with Trekkies.”

HD embarrassment: Brave announcer Don Sutton, when Red pitcher Ramon Ortiz’s batting average was shown on the Atlanta scoreboard Sunday: “That’s not a little .093, that’s a gigantic .093 up there on that high-definition scoreboard.”

Looking back: On this day in 1975, Chris Evert won the first of her six U.S. Open women’s singles titles with a 5-7, 6-4, 6-2 victory over Evonne Goolagong.

Trivia answer: Hugo Bezdek, who managed the Pittsburgh Pirates from 1917 to 1919 and coached the Cleveland Rams in 1937 and ’38. He also coached college football at Oregon, Arkansas and Penn State.

And finally: Shaquille O’Neal, declining to pose holding a pair of New Balance sneakers at a media event, said, “I have my own line of shoes, so I’d be breaking my own contract. And then I’d have to sue myself.”

Larry Stewart can be reached at larry.stewart@latimes.com.