Lakers’ Brown Puts Up More Words Than Points

I expected Kwame Brown to fumble for answers, maybe turn over something or miss the point of the whole conversation, but I was pleasantly surprised to learn he’s a professional and really a very well-spoken stiff.

My intention before the Lakers’ game with Portland had been to talk to Lamar Odom and urge him to score more, but as soon as he saw the media enter the locker room, he decided to leave -- moving to his left, of course, as he walked out.

So that left me with Brown, and when I asked him if he was bothered by all the criticism directed his way, he said, “I don’t read the newspapers, so I don’t see the criticism.

“I think I’m doing good. How do you think I’m doing?”

I didn’t hesitate, of course. “Not very good,” I said. “Not very good at all.”

“What do you want?” Brown said.

“How about more consistency?” and as we continued, I found myself having a very nice conversation with the big stiff despite our obvious disagreement over whether he’s any good. Who knew Kwame Brown would handle himself better than Brad Faxon?

I have two children older than Brown, who is 23, and I know how difficult it would be for a 23-year-old to stand up to the pressure of constantly being in the spotlight, and I thought about giving him a break. But then changed my mind.

“I think my defense has been consistent,” he said, and I told him I wouldn’t know, because I’m all about offense, and he said, “We have all the scoring we need from Kobe.”

I said some people think Kobe shoots too much and needs help from his supporting cast, and Brown, who would score nine points and throw up an airball from the free-throw line in the 99-82 win over Portland, said, “When we win, it’s because Kobe is having a good night.”

That would seem to take Brown off the hook, the outcome always riding on Kobe, so I asked Phil Jackson what he wants from Brown -- realizing that meant I’d actually have to go through the grueling task of talking to Jackson.

“I’ve asked Kwame to just run and hustle and do the things that change a ballclub’s ability to defend and rebound,” Jackson said. “The hustle has to be there to energize the team.... We have been really pleased with his defensive game. He’s been a difference in a number of games that we’ve played, some of them we haven’t won, but he’s been a big difference in the games with his defensive play.”

And all this time I didn’t think Brown had done very much.

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IT SOUNDS like Jackson wants more aggressive play from Odom, so tongue-in-cheek I asked, “Have you come around and started thinking like me now -- getting more points out of Lamar Odom?”

Jackson pondered that for a moment, and then said, “I hope I never have to think like you. For sure, my relationship [with Jeanie -- I presume] would end quickly, I wouldn’t have any friends and I’d be alone in this world.”

And he says he doesn’t read Page 2.

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I’VE BEEN invited to join the Bride of Chucky, Bum Garner and Deacon Jones tonight for the three-day World Poker Tour Invitational at Commerce Casino and the chance to win $10,000 for charity, and $100,000 for the wife’s shopping problem.

The tournament organizers, though, might as well have sent a car to pick me up with Kevin Brown driving.

Jones, of Fearsome Foursome fame, still owes Mattel Children’s Hospital at UCLA $100 because he couldn’t hang with Page 2 in last year’s event.

In fact the Welcher rolled over 25 minutes into the tournament, the first player to get the boot in a field of 232, while Page 2 placed 22nd, hanging around for eight hours and obviously well past Jones’ bedtime.

NEWS FLASH: Jones just pulled out of the event. Wonder why.

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THE WORLD Poker Tour continues to gain in popularity, beginning its fourth year on the Travel Channel on March 8, and frankly, the poker craze is hard to explain.

This week Commerce Casino drew 692 players, each contributing $10,000 to compete for the first-place Poker Classic prize of $2,391,550. Actor James Woods placed 24th, earning $39,000.

Woods will join the World Poker Tour Invitational field along with Laker owner Jerry Buss and Jennifer Tilly, both the Bride of Chucky and the Unabomber’s girlfriend, and you think you have a complicated life. The field will also include Maverick, the old grouch, who is also known as James Garner.

A few years back, Bob Newhart introduced me to Garner, who began swearing at me as soon as he heard my name, and while that makes him no different from most, I thought he was kidding and told him of “all the old actors out there, you’re the wife’s favorite.”

The next day I found the grouch’s real name on the Internet, wrote a column about “Baumgarner,” only to hear he was really mad now -- because it’s “Bumgarner.”

From then on, he became Bum Garner here, and now when we run into each other, he just growls. I’d bet Bum $100 for Mattel’s benefit, but if I won, I wouldn’t like my chances of collecting ... and I’m already dealing with that.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Mike Kilgore:

“I read the words ‘horse racing’ someplace near the start of your column, my eyes glazed over, I nodded off on my keyboard, the drool running out the corner of my mouth, shorting the keyboard out.”

Lucky me -- you were able to get it fixed.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.