These fireworks more functional than festive

Was someone observing New Year’s a bit early? The Seal Beach Sun said a report of gunfire in a neighborhood turned out to be a resident shooting off fireworks. Not that it was a celebration. No, the resident was scaring away a masked intruder, police said. A raccoon. Enforcing lawn order, in other words.

Ray Desbrow of Alhambra observed that one company evidently has a forklift in its Nativity scene (see accompanying).

John Norman of Valencia sent along a home seller’s ad that he clipped out a while ago -- one whose claim about the property’s view seems appropriate for the Christmas season (see accompanying).

Slips of the season

Another heavenly note

More unreal estate

Amy Arozco spotted an ad about a new housing tract in Carpinteria that’s so exclusive only a few of the 27 homes were designated “affordable” (see accompanying). Never thought I’d see the day Carpinteria would get snooty.

Unofficial economic indicators

We may live in uncertain times, but Sears expects to be in business for the next thousand years, at least, according to a gift-card receipt contributed by Dan and Branka Weber of Woodland Hills (see accompanying).

Sorry about that, Jack

Perhaps you heard the heart-warming tale of a customer at a Starbucks drive-through who paid the bill of the driver behind him, starting a chain reaction in which each succeeding customer did the same at the Pompano Beach, Fla., coffeehouse.

It reminded me of a chain reaction started by some less noble high school buddies of mine one Friday night oh so many years ago at a Jack in the Box that was frequented by teens.

They -- OK, we -- drove past the first window without ordering anything and proceeded directly to the cashier’s window, where we covertly picked up (and paid for) the order of the kids in the car behind us. We had created a chaotic situation in which every car in the line would be picking up the wrong order.

We parked across the street to watch. Luckily, there was no violence (the chefs apparently didn’t spot us).

Still, the stunt backfired on me. The car behind ours contained three kids, while there were four of us in our car. My buddies dove into the food, and I was left without dinner.

Mystery of the day

The crime blotter of Long Beach’s Beachcomber newspaper said police responded to what one officer termed a “brief underwear theft.” Brief, as in the type of undies? Or brief, as in the thief kept them for only a few minutes?

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Billy Stine of Redondo Beach notes that Dive N’ Surf of Redondo Beach held a true Southern California-themed Christmas party for charity: an underwater tree-decorating ceremony. Divers sank and decorated the weighted trees in 30-foot waters, then posed for photos down there with a submerged Santa. Santa’s reindeer, by the way, declined to take the plunge.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.