The Times’ Top 25

The Alabama Inch Worms continue to impress Rankman and parlayed a big win over Florida International last week into a one-spot catapult to No. 11. Because Utah is not on the schedule, the chances for an undefeated season and top-five finish appear excellent.

Houston is this week’s big mover. . . . Houston? Just what we need: another non-Bowl Championship Series school threatening our monopoly with a lawsuit. Houston proved last week that money is overrated in the power conferences because the Cougars got to No. 16 by defeating the University of T. Boone Pickens at Stillwater.

We never doubted welcoming Michigan back to the top 25 some day -- we figured it would be 2012. How fast Michigan overtakes Ohio State may depend on how many more fourth-down decisions Jim Tressel has to make.

And remind Rankman to never waver again on a solid preseason pick like UCLA at No. 25. We had to remove the Bruins last week to clear shelf space, but they’re now back by the canned peas on aisle five.

Rk.; TEAM; Comment (Last week’s ranking)

1

TEXAS

2-0

Brown tells guards to watch for NFL holdout Crabtree trying to sneak into Texas Tech uniform. (1)

2

FLORIDA

2-0

Whatever the point spread is against Tennessee, go ahead and double it. (2)

3

USC

2-0

Team choreographing special play sequence for Busby Barkley at Berkeley. (3)

4

PENN STATE

2-0

Paterno thought camera guy he chased off field was Cecil B. DeMille. (4)

5

MISSISSIPPI

1-0

Never has a team been so high in the rankings after beating Memphis. (7)

6

LOUISIANA STATE

2-0

Coach tells players not to overlook underrated Louisiana-Etoufee. (8)

7

CALIFORNIA

2-0

Music on plane to Minnesota will include one hit from “Strawberry Alarm Clock.” (9)

8

BRIGHAM YOUNG

2-0

Bowden thinks he might have gone to high school with BYU’s starting center. (11)

9

BOISE STATE

2-0

If Serena Williams played on tennis team she definitely would not be suspended. (10)

10

OHIO STATE

1-1

Historian says Tressel more conservative vs. USC than Nixon’s “Checkers” speech. (6)

11

ALABAMA

2-0

Mean Green vs. Crimson Tide sounds like battle of laundry detergents. (12)

12

TEXAS CHRISTIAN

1-0

Schedule either says playing Texas State or going to Texas State Fair. (13)

13

OKLAHOMA

1-1

Sam, come back soon, we can’t play Idaho State every week. (14)

14

GEORGIA TECH

2-0

Coach warns team that triple option is against the law on South Beach. (15).

15

UTAH

2-0

Longest winning streak meets longest wettest streak at Oregon. (16)

16

HOUSTON

2-0

QB Case Keenum has Cougars at No. 10 in this week’s America’s top 40 countdown. (NR)

17

MIAMI

1-0

Jacory Harris so cool one teacher turned off air conditioner when he walked into class. (18)

18

NEBRASKA

2-0

Coach plays “farm noise” at practice to prepare team for trip to Virginia Tech. (20)

19

OKLAHOMA STATE

1-1

Billionaire T. Boone Pickens left one thing off his shopping list: a defense. (5)

20

NORTH CAROLINA

2-0

“Holding in end zone for safety” added to team’s offensive playbook. (19)

21

CINCINNATI

2-0

Directions to game: Turn left at Portland and look for “We Like Mike” signs in Corvallis. (21)

22

GEORGIA

1-1

Nothing says SEC defense better than a 41-37 win over South Carolina. (22)

23

VIRGINIA TECH

1-1

Blacksburg mayor apologizes to Nebraska for not being a “metropolis” like Lincoln. (15)

24

MICHIGAN

2-0

Coach rewards team for Notre Dame win by cutting practice time to 70 hours. (NR)

25

UCLA

2-0

Smart coach: suspends players for game he’s favored to win by 11 1/2 . (NR)

Dropped out: Notre Dame (17), Oregon State (21), Florida State (25).

Moved in: Houston, Michigan, UCLA.