How sad is the Reggie Bush non-apology? Let Elton answer that one

Unbuckling the mailbag:

Question: Why does Reggie Bush need to apologize? Many, many college athletes have committed eligibility violations and never apologized.

Earl

Answer: How many of those guys became the first guy ever to return his Heisman Trophy?

And if you think it was an independent gesture and not related to the fact the Heisman Trust was going to strip Bush of the trophy if he didn’t give it back, well I’ve got a condominium in San Diego I’d like to sell you -- if Bush’s parents aren’t still living there.

Also, if Bush is returning the trophy but not admitting guilt to anything he did at USC, why is he returning the trophy?

To spare all of us the ongoing distraction that he has caused?

Bush may not have broken any laws, but he broke rules, and he got caught.

Elton John asked to complete the rest of your question, one Reggie (Reginald Dwight) to another:

“It’s sad, so sad, it’s a sad, sad situation. And it’s getting more and more absurd…. Sorry seems to be the hardest word.”

Q: Bush was just a kid enjoying the good life. Isn’t that the American-Las Vegas-something-for-nothing-Wall Street dream? Give him a break. The USC boosters are more corrupt than he is -- that I am sure. Hypocrites!

R. Nemo

A: They say whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas but, unfortunately for Bush, what happened in San Diego didn’t.

Q: What happens if an athlete pays their own way (no scholarship) and then takes “illegal benefits”?

ObiWanKobe/Twitter.com

A: I would nominate the guy offering those illegal benefits for “World’s Dumbest Boosters.” Who makes car payments for the scout-team wide receiver?

Q: Virginia Tech losing to a dead president this week really makes Boise’s win last week over the Hokies a lot less impressive, eh?

Will Campbell

A: Losing to a dead president is no disgrace. Idaho just lost to Lincoln (Nebraska), Syracuse lost to Washington, Southwest Baptist to Truman State, Alabama to Monroe (Louisiana, 2007) and Tennessee State bowed to Jackson State. And there was no shame in Wagner High, in San Antonio, losing its season opener to the Ronald Reagan Diamondbackers.

Now, losing to a dead vice president, say Aaron Burr, or a dead secretary of State, say Robert Smith, who served under James Madison, might have been a different story.

Q: After reading a plethora of articles and opinions, both pro-Boise and anti-Boise, I have to say that your article was the most well thought-out takes on the subject I’ve seen. You are truly one of the best college football writers out there and I always enjoy your work.

Jeremy

Chappaqua, N.Y.

A: That’s not a question, but we’ll let it slide this time.

Q: So if Liberty (2-0) beats James Madison this weekend, are you going to boost the Flame into your top 25?

Steve Orton

LaGrange, Ill.

A: If Liberty beats James Madison this weekend I’ll fly to LaGrange and Flame-broil you a filet mignon -- because the schools don’t play until next weekend.

Q: One victory over a team that can’t beat any other top-25 teams and you think they’re No. 1? You need to get out more often. There’s a real world outside of L.A.. Get a clue.

Ken Aycock

A: I do get out of L.A. sometimes. This summer I visited a beautiful part of the world. Clean air, a freshwater river that cuts right through town.

Friendly people, great French fries and the bluest skies and playing surfaces you’ve ever seen.

I was fly fishing in the Boise River and caught the whopper or all whoppers: a football team.

Q: SC will be OK. Why press the panic button after two games? I might skip your next column.

Blon0124/Twitter.com

A: Until it gets its allotment of scholarships back, USC will not be OK. And I’m assuming by OK you mean Oklahoma, which is not on probation.

I might skip your next question.

Q: Why doesn’t UCLA play [Richard] Brehaut? I really don’t think he could be any worse than [Kevin] Prince…can he?

Jon Bickley

A: I know there are politics in sports and coaches play favorites, but I would think it highly unlikely Rick Neuheisel and Norm Chow would risk their careers and reputations by keeping a better quarterback on the bench after starting the season with two losses.

It may turn out that Brehaut is a better quarterback than Prince, but he obviously hasn’t done enough to win the job even after UCLA’s pistol offense fired blanks against Stanford.

My guess is that Prince, who really has not been at 100% physically, will get one last shot against Houston on Saturday to prove he’s the man for the immediate future.

I’m guessing another poor performance by Prince will lead UCLA coaches to reconsider everything.

Although, consider this: UCLA plays at Texas next week, maybe not the place you’d want to break in a guy with even less experience.

Q: Do you think Coach [Steve Sarkisian] can beat his boy [Lane] Kiffin in three weeks when Washington goes down to L.A.?

Jimmy Anderson

Seattle

A: Sarkisian vs. Kiffin at the Coliseum on Oct. 2 will be one of the most anticipated matchups of the early season. Nobody knows USC’s playbook better than Sarkisian, except for maybe Stanford.

Q: What’s up with your dissing of Alabama and Nick Saban in all your columns lately? Did Saban hurt your feelings or something? Get over it — it’s very unbecoming.

Ann Garcia

A: Nick Saban is one of the top football coaches in the country, but a bill collector is friendlier. Saban and Lane Kiffin, in fact, may lead the nation in general sideline face discomfort.

Saban scowls more than these favorite school mascots: Tigers, Bearcats, Wildcats, Wolverines, Badgers, Banana Slugs.

Saban lost respect in my book when, as head coach of the Miami Dolphins, he said he was not going to be the next Alabama coach until, well, he was.

Mostly, I just like messing with Alabama fans because they fill more passion buckets than a volunteer fire department.

Saban can’t hurt my feelings because, as you know, sportswriters don’t have any. How unbecoming of us.

Q: As expected, forced by reality’s ugly intrusion to include LSU in the rankings, what do you do? Take a nasty little swipe at them while doing so. And No. 24 when the coaches have them at No. 12. What a joke. You must think very highly of yourself, don’t you?

Johnny

A: Highly? Last week I only voted myself No. 22. A lot depends on the power rating of my mailbag writers. Weak questions impact my SOS and tend to drive down my positives in the computers. I can only play the questions that are in my inbox. I can’t get a home-and home with any of the top letter writers so most of my nonconference responses are on the road.

I am looking to move up to an Automatic Qualifying Conference (AQQ&A) but the exit fee to leave the Mountain Waist is $5 million.

I hope that doesn’t answer your question.

chris.dufresne@latimes.com