The Times’ NBA rankings

BEN BOLCH’S RANKINGS, COMMENTS THROUGH SATURDAY

THE UNTOUCHABLES

1. CHICAGO (20-6) Derrick Rose prefers Chicago in June to Orlando in February, London in August. (1)

2. OKLAHOMA CITY (18-5) Kevin Durant no longer invited to judge All-Star dunk contest. (2)

3. MIAMI (17-6) Fortune 500 companies line up for LeBron James after way he ran offense. (3)

ALL THE RIGHT MOVES

4. INDIANA (16-7) More success in back-to-backs than “Star Wars” & “Empire Strikes Back.” (5)

5. PHILADELPHIA (17-7) Surprising 76ers turn city of Type A personalities into a bunch of softies. (6)

6. DENVER (15-9) Nuggets become Wal-Mart shoppers after Kenyon Martin joins Clippers. (4)

7. ATLANTA (16-8) Lucky stat: Hawks won first 13 games against teams .500 or better. (7)

8. SAN ANT. (16-9) Spurs roster sponsored by Shady Pines retirement homes. (9)

9. CLIPPERS (14-7) Long after “All My Children,” GM Neil Olshey assembles bold, beautiful roster. (10)

10. ORLANDO (15-9) At this rate, Dwight Howard will go anywhere except Washington, Charlotte. (8)

11. LAKERS (14-10) A fan of the road, Willie Nelson won’t provide soundtrack for Grammy trip. (11)

12. DALLAS (14-11) Fining Mark Cuban $75,000 is only likely to pump up the volume. (12)

13. UTAH (13-9) Jazz sounding a more melancholy note after hot start. (13)

14. PORTLAND (14-10) Marcus Camby regretting Clippers trade more than ever. (14)

15. HOUSTON (13-11) Reserves step into the limelight with 50-point effort against Phoenix. (16)

16. BOSTON (12-10) Doc Rivers’ next book entitled “.500 Basketball for Dummies.” (17)

17. MEMPHIS (12-11) Grizzlies’ motto: No. 8 seeding or bust. (15)

BETTER OFF DEAD

18. MINNESOTA (12-12) Timberwolves more than halfway to securing NCAA tournament berth. (18)

19. MILWAUKEE (10-13) Even before he broke his ankle, Andrew Bogut was questionable. (19)

20. CLEVELAND (9-13) Leaving Duke early for this mess makes Kyrie Irving “Cameron Crazy.” (20)

21. GOLDEN STATE (8-13) Warriors don’t need a trip to Napa Valley to get sideways. (23)

22. PHOENIX (9-14) At least Grant Hill, Steve Nash enjoying AARP discounts. (21)

23. NEW YORK (9-15) Even Billy Joel’s no longer in a N.Y. state of mind after watching Knicks. (22)

24. NEW JERSEY (8-17) How do you say “natural disaster” in Russian? (24)

25. SACRAMENTO (8-15) Fans who waved “Stay” signs at end of last season are now saying “Go.” (25)

26. TORONTO (8-16) When Bargnani doesn’t play, DeRozan feels like Frog without Toad. (26)

THE GODS MUST BE CRAZY

27. WASHINGTON (4-20) Throwback jerseys a fitting touch for a throwaway team. (29)

28. NEW ORL. (4-20) Wanting out is so easy, even a Kaman can do it. (27)

29. DETROIT (6-20) Getting beaten like a drum may have upside: Andre Drummond. (28)

30. CHARLOTTE (3-21) RPI falls below Binghamton’s. (30)