A Message to Dad: Bet Big on Steelers

I wrote about the NFL for years, a high-ranking league official once saying that’s why Los Angeles no longer has a team, but I’m pretty sure he was just joking.

Early in my sportswriting career, my dad used to call for my football picks every week, and remembering as a kid the illegal parlay cards I’d sometimes find around the house, I didn’t mind contributing to his delinquency.

I’d do my homework, give him my detailed analysis, and as time went by, I’d hear from his buddies too. They said my dad was always talking about “how much I knew about football.”

I’m reminded of that today, the 24th anniversary of my dad’s death, which also happens to be Super Bowl Sunday -- and how much he would’ve wanted to know who his son was picking to win the big game.

Of course, it wasn’t until his funeral, and after a number of his friends had gotten tanked, that I learned my dad used to brag about me at work, all right, telling everyone, “If you really want to make money, ask a sportswriter, and then bet everything you’ve got on the other side to win.”

So for Dad’s benefit, and I’d imagine by now he has figured out a way to get a bet down on Super Bowl 40, I’m taking Seattle to win, 23-10.

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BETONSPORTS.COM IS taking wagers on what will be the Rolling Stones’ first song at halftime today -- “Start Me Up” the betting favorite -- what color the sports drink dumped over the head of the winning coach will be -- the favorite being yellow, while there’s money to be made in my estimation if you take “whitish” -- and which coach will have a close-up of their face on TV after the opening kickoff.

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THE PREMIERE Speakers Bureau can give you Steve Lavin for a keynote fee of $12,500 -- offering his coaching perspective on advancing to the Sweet 16 five times in six years only to discover it wasn’t enough to satisfy Bruin fans.

With that in mind, the worst thing that could possibly happen to Ben Howland at UCLA -- winning and raising expectations -- is about to thrust him into Lavin territory.

Howland, proving himself a top-notch recruiter, has earned praise this season for overcoming injuries and reaching the top of the Pacific 10 Conference standings. With such success, however, comes the demand for even more -- just ask Lavin.

Howland, considered a Lavin upgrade, has never won a Pac-10 tournament game, though, and has never won an NCAA tournament game while at UCLA.

Compared to Lavin’s 60-20 record in his first 80 games with the Bruins, Howland is 48-32, but here in his third year on the job, he’s now 19-4, on top of the Pac-10 and probably the overwhelming pick as coach of the year.

The conference, though, much like the division the Dodgers play in, is dreadful and probably accounts for USC’s success.

The Bruins will have every opportunity to pad their record down the stretch, raising expectations even higher, making it interesting to hear the reaction from UCLA alumni if the team doesn’t advance in the Pac-10 tournament in Staples Center, or fails to make it to at least the Sweet 16.

It might even be worth a 50-cent call to Lavin to see what he has to say; I’ve already heard the $12,500 sob story.

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WITH NEWS surfacing the other day that Denver might be interested in acquiring Ricky Williams, ESPN’s Dan Patrick noted on his radio show, “I just don’t know if I’d want Ricky Williams in a place called Mile High.”

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THE DEFINITION of insanity in sports: The Lakers are paying Devean George, coming off his best game of the year -- a defeat -- $60,975.61 a game.

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THE DEFINITION of surrender in sports: Phil Jackson putting George, Andrew Bynum, Luke Walton, Smush Parker and Von Wafer on the court together early in the fourth quarter Saturday night.

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THEY COULD have done so much for the bicycle-built-for-two business, but now word comes that Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow have decided to pedal off in different directions.

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THERE SEEMS to be an endless list of potential NCAA violations given all the petty rules out there. But apparently there’s nothing wrong with a coach’s spending time in a kid’s living room, schmoozing player and parents, and then saying, after the kid has signed a national letter of intent, to disregard any previous mention of UCLA’s Tom Cable and what he might mean to a young man’s future.

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IT’S OFFICIAL now: Every football coach in the country has pronounced this year’s recruiting class a tremendous success.

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THE NHL has already fined the Kings’ Sean Avery $1,000 for taking a dive; if the NBA ever adopts such action, Kwame Brown might go broke.

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SOMETHING YOU might never again witness in your lifetime: The Sacramento Kings and Kobe Bryant were a combined 0 for 23 shooting the ball in the fourth quarter Friday. As unbelievable as that might be, the Kings took more shots in the fourth quarter than Bryant.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Alex Maas:

“Seeing you on television (Channel 5) broadcasting the Clipper game was a trip. I had no idea you’re fat. So am I, but I have an excuse. My oncologist told me he did not like cancer patients losing weight. I have no idea what your excuse is.”

I was sitting behind Lara Flynn Boyle -- and I’m sure at some point I’ll get used to the groupies -- and in comparison to her, everyone appears fat.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.