The San Diego Padres banned alcohol from...

The San Diego Padres banned alcohol from their clubhouse at Jack Murphy Stadium, the team announced. The ban also affects the visiting teams’ clubhouse, executive offices, the ticket office, the players’ lounge and the press box.

A memo distributed to all Padre employees and signed by Ballard Smith, team president, said the decision to ban alcoholic beverages was made after consultations with the franchise’s legal advisers and was due to rising liability insurance premiums.

“It just goes to show you what kind of people run this ballclub,” pitcher Rich Gossage said. “By taking beer out of the clubhouse, they treat us like 14-year-old kids. It’s just because their lives are so boring. . . . Ballard Smith is so gutless he didn’t even have the guts to come down here and tell us in person.”

Said utility man Tim Flannery: “That’s an insult to grown men. We don’t like being treated like kids. I know how to take care of myself. Guys who want to drink beer will drink beer.”