When Will Kings Land Bobby Orr?

Hockey in July. The guy has got us talking hockey in July. And just so the general slapshot-happy public can keep everything straight--although, remember, this could change in the next 24 hours--here are some of the few remaining people Bruce McNall has not yet brought to the Los Angeles Kings, but still might:

--The rest of the Edmonton Oilers.

--Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull or Bobby Clarke.

--The Howe family.

--Brian Boitano.

--That Russian goalie, Tretiak.

--Anybody born in Mexico.

--Either Esposito.

--Czech defectors.

--The 1980 Olympic team.

--Mario Lemieux.

--Pepe Lepieux.

--Any Detroit player not currently behind bars.

--Any Sutter brother, Stastny brother, Schmenge or McKenzie brother.

--Anybody nicknamed Boom Boom, Rocket, Toe, Punch, Tiger, the Cat, Moose or Goose.

--Anybody named Guy who pronounces it Gee.

Otherwise, McNall has gotten around to just about everybody. His latest acquisition: Larry Robinson, 17-year veteran of the Montreal Canadiens, defenseman deluxe and another of Canada’s national treasures.

A million-six? Sure thing. Sign here. How many years you want, Lar? Two? Three? You got it .

Love that Bruce! You gotta love this guy, if you love good hockey players. He wants ‘em, he gets ‘em. Oh, we assume that General Manager Rogie Vachon dials the phone, but McNall is the man behind the scenes, the man with the checkbook as thick as the Yellow Pages, the man who is going to bring a championship hockey club to California if he has to sell every expensive black silk suit he owns and go around the Forum wearing a barrel.

McNall is turning into Bob Barker. Wayne Gretzky, come on down! Larry Robinson, come on down! Kelly Hrudey, come out West! Steve Kasper, Mike Krushelnyski, John Tonelli, Ron Duguay, Marty McSorley, Chris Kontos, good guys, tough guys, old guys, unwanted guys, come on out to Bruce’s Holiday on Ice! The Kings said, “California is the place you oughta be,” so they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly. Hills, that is. Swimming pools. Movie stars.

Larry Robinson will lend a hand to a defense sorely in need of one. L.A. has enough offense to take a Stanley Cup, but not enough defense, except in goal. Even if Robinson is not the player he used to be, he was good enough to work long shifts for Montreal during the 1989 Stanley Cup finals, and in savvy alone he’s an asset. Glad to have him.

Canadians (and Canadiens) must be going nuts, though. The sight of Gretzky and Robinson in Los Angeles uniforms . . . ugh. Picture Magic Johnson playing for San Antonio. Or how about Chris Evert defecting to Czechoslovakia?

Don’t you get the feeling, too, that McNall is just getting started? He’s got an offensive super-hero, a defensive wonder, a goalie, a new coach, new uniforms, a guy with a “lucky butt” as a good-luck charm, Sylvester Stallone at rinkside.. . . What more could anyone want? A 25,000-seat arena in the Valley? A practice facility in Palm Springs with hot-and-cold running Molson’s from the faucets? His own TV super-station?

McNall has it all. He and Gretzky own a horse together, so it’ll probably win the Breeders’ Cup or something. McNall could probably buy a donkey and win the Preakness, the lucky butt.

We thought for a while that the Kings might sign Guy Lafleur, who has been around so long he calls Larry Robinson Sonny. But Lafleur has signed with the Quebec Nordiques, proving that there are some guys even Los Angeles can’t buy.

Montreal center Bobby Smith believes Lafleur is putting too much of a load on himself. “He’s going to be in the spotlight now, and he’s going to have the type of pressure he wouldn’t have faced in Los Angeles, let’s say, where Wayne Gretzky and Bernie Nicholls and Luc Robitaille are such great players.”

We can’t help wondering who else McNall might get his hands on before too long.

Maybe he will raid Edmonton again. If he can’t get goalie Grant Fuhr, who is so fed up with Oiler management that he announced his retirement at 26, we can easily see McNall getting his hands on Jimmy Carson, who could play out the rest of his contract at Edmonton, then sign with the Kings as a free agent.

It is no big National Hockey League secret that Carson would love to return to Los Angeles. He still has a house here. It wasn’t Carson’s fault that he was ordered to leave the country in the great Gretzky trade on Aug. 9, 1988. Carson is an all-star who still might be as good as Gretzky someday, and has a dozen years or more left to prove it.

Boy, this is fun, talking hockey.

Let’s get this baseball business over with and get back to the good stuff.