Next Time He Will be Traded For Human to be Named Later

In 1983, Fred Roberts, now of the Milwaukee Bucks, was traded by the New Jersey Nets to the San Antonio Spurs so that the Nets could hire Stan Albeck, who was under contract to the Spurs, to be their coach.

Roberts later was traded by the Utah Jazz to the Boston Celtics for a third-round pick and two exhibition games, which the Celtics agreed to play in Utah.

Said Bucks’ Coach Del Harris: “I have promised Fred if we ever trade him, it will be for a human being. Not that Stan Albeck is not a human being.”

Creative genius: Former Boston Celtic guard Danny Ainge, now with the Sacramento Kings, was asked if the return of Larry Bird would make other players on the Celtics better.

“I don’t think Larry makes anybody better,” Ainge said. “He takes the pressure off of the other guys because he takes so much responsibility with the ball. I think Magic (Johnson) makes people better. He gets the other people the ball in good position and allows them to score. I don’t think Michael Jordan makes people better, either. Larry’s like Michael Jordan. He just takes the pressure off the team. Magic creates for everybody else.”

Add key players: Bird on the Celtics’ inconsistent start: “I don’t want to have to score 50 for us to win. Especially on the road. If I’m scoring like that, it means everybody else is standing around. I’m trying to get guys involved. We’ve got to win as a team.”

Trivia time: The Wittenberg and Ohio Wesleyan football teams play for Ye Olde Skull. What teams play for the Broomhead Trophy?

Easy does it: Georgetown basketball Coach John Thompson on preseason polls: “I guess they’re good for fans and alumni and the student body, but there’s no way that you know what kind of team anyone has right now. The only way you can tell is to go through the fire. . . . I tend to get nervous when you come out of the blocks fast because sustaining it will be difficult. I’d rather take my time.”

All in the family: The management of Rome’s Il Messaggero basketball team reportedly wants Danny Ferry to be the star, not Brian Shaw.

Said Shaw: “The owner doesn’t know a whole lot about sports, but he has this 19-year-old son who really loves basketball. He even lives with Danny. This guy watches everything and oversees the entire operation.”

It’s spilt milk: Sen. Arlen Spector (R-Pa.), during antitrust hearings on sports and cable television: “This baseball fan is still angry about the move of the New York Giants and Brooklyn Dodgers to the West. The West Coast should have had teams through expansion, not by taking teams from other cities.”

Trivia answer: Brown and Rhode Island.

Quotebook: Gene Stallings, fired earlier this week by the Phoenix Cardinals, on his desire to remain a football coach: “I’m too young to retire and not wealthy enough, either. I enjoy it. Coaching is what I do best. I think I do it well. I can relate to the player. I think I can get the player to perform.”