Much Driveway Basketball Hoopla, and Other Letters

Thank you for writing. Thank you for calling. Here’s some of what you’ve been saying as of late.

Hoops, as in basketball, are still hot. It seems that you either love them and everything that they stand for or you would just as soon have a gang of Hells Angels move in next door as allow one to hang over your neighbor’s garage.

When I wrote about Richard Jacklan and his rather amazing Hide-a-Hoop, a contraption that attaches to the inside of garage doors, most readers seemed to approve. Many wanted one, immediately. Price--and believe me, it’s not cheap--was of little import.

The response of Sally Zwain of Laguna Niguel was typical.

“My family moved here exactly one year ago today, from the Midwest (Kansas), where everyone has a basketball hoop in their yards--low income, high income--everyone!” she writes. “My sons miss their own hoop a lot, and the portable five-foot one doesn’t cut it.”

Then, of course, there was the other side. These are the people who are very serious about homeowners associations and the rules that they enforce. They approve. Strongly.

Gerald H. Smith of Huntington Beach typed a two-page letter to let me know this. By way of an introduction, it’s worth noting that for the past 14 years, Mr. Smith has lived in two different homes that were governed by homeowners associations. He has served on the board of directors for eight of those years.

“I have come to the conclusion that approximately 10% of the people who live in this environment (governed by homeowners associations) should not,” he writes. “They should have their own private estate, where they can do what they want, when they want to do it.”

Then later on Mr. Smith opines that it might be nice if parents would get together and take their kids to the playground, presumably instead of allowing them to bounce balls in their driveways.

“The kids could play basketball and other games in a proper environment,” he says. “The parents and children could possibly make friends with others that they have something in common with. Just think of the friendship and mutual respect these parents could develop with their neighbors.”

I opine that that’s not a bad idea at all but note that it’s often not possible. Parents work, a lot. Maybe too much.

That, incidentally, is what many readers told me after I wrote a column about mothers who have chosen to stay home with their children rather than slug it out in the working world.

Pat Howell of Orange sent a note to cheer on Donna Saltarelli, one of the women I quoted in the column.

“Keep up the good work, Donna,” Pat says. “Being a homemaker is the most rewarding job you’ll ever encounter, and your family is better for it. I will never regret doing such but have friends that wish they had stayed home.”

Terri Holloway of La Habra wrote about the same column, thanking me for a “reaffirmation.”

“I too am a stay-at-home mom who runs into barriers in the adult working-folk types,” she says. “One recent day, my very supportive husband asked why he only gets to talk to ‘the machine.’ . . . My response to him was to point at our 7-year-old and say ‘her.’ It’s PTA, PTA, Thrift Shop, school parties, volunteer time in her class and Brownies.”

My column on domestic violence, the often-unspoken, dark side of home life, also prompted many readers to share their opinions, and several of them told me about their own domestic nightmares.

Lawyer William V. Ferraro of Cypress wrote to say he sees the problem from a different angle.

“Having worked on nearly a thousand of these type cases over the years, I welcome seeing some accurate information on the subject,” he says. “As you know, there is a misconception as to both the role and the end result of these type of cases as they go into our legal system.”

An inmate at Orange County Jail, charged with probation violations stemming from spousal abuse, wrote me two lengthy letters chronicling his saga of domestic violence and alcoholism.

“She would find something to bitch at me about every day, no matter how trivial it was,” he says. “I’m not trying to justify anything, but the tongue is an extremely strong force, and mental abuse can be just as much harmful as physical abuse, if not worse.”

By the second letter, however, the inmate said that he and his common-law wife, who recently gave birth to their child, had reconciled and that she had dropped the abuse charges against him.

My column on the controversy surrounding Share Our Selves, the private Costa Mesa charity, seems to have hit a nerve.

While most of the readers who shared their opinions supported the work of SOS--with several offering donations--there was also sentiment similar to that of Jean Prebicin of Newport Beach:

“You clearly missed the mark on SOS. I’ll bet you don’t live within five miles of SOS. You nor your family do not need to pick your way through the ‘leavings’ when you go out your front or back doors, nor hold your nose, nor worry about the safety of your family.”

Finally, after reading my column about junior high school students bringing weapons to school, Gina Vanides, a high school sophomore from El Toro, wrote to tell me about witnessing a similar incident in Mission Viejo “which will probably affect me for the rest of my life.”

“At any rate, ever since that day over nine months ago, I have had a deep aversion towards guns,” Gina writes. “I really become angered when people write in the editorial section on the unfairness of gun bans. I wish they could see what is happening to the kids of today.”

That’s all there’s room for this time around. Please keep ‘em coming. . . .

Dianne Klein’s column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Klein by writing to her at The Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, Calif. 92626, or calling (714) 966-7406.