‘All-Star Pro Sports Awards’ Is Bush League

TV is where media events really hit the fan.

So much of what we take for granted is manufactured for TV from political campaigns to trash sports to talk-show buzz--that illusion and reality nearly become indistinguishable. No matter how thin or counterfeit, camera-tailored events become legitimized merely by existing.

The camera attaches validity to these events, which assume lives of their own and, through repetition, become woven into the national culture.

Fresh out of the fantasy factory, for instance, is Monday’s first annual “All-Star Pro Sports Awards,” a two-hour, black-tie gala--the formal wear symbolizing respectability--that ABC says will honor “the best in professional sports.”

To say nothing of the best in sports baloney.

Yes, I know, you just can’t get enough of those exhilarating TV awards shows. ABC, too, apparently. Sensing that a mere two dozen a year weren’t enough, it gave thumbs up to this one, a creation of a newly formed outfit called Pro Sports Productions, with assistance from Inside Sports magazine, whose participation was crucial.

It was the magazine that ran the ballots on which its readers could designate their “all-star pro sports” choices. Voting also was available through a publicized 900 number.

Other components were necessary, too. So comedian Richard Lewis was hired to emcee the show, and ABC Sports’ new acquisition, Brent Musburger, was assigned to host it. Clint Eastwood, Arnold Schwarzenegger and ABC’s very own Tony Danza (“Who’s the Boss?”) were added for star-gazing, sports bloopers were tossed in for laughs and production numbers were throw in for glitz. Finally, the artificial insemination complete, “All-Star Pro Sports Awards” was ready to pop from the womb.

It will air live in the East and on tape here at 9 p.m., naming winners from four “finalists” in 11 categories during a telecast from the Universal Amphitheatre in front of a paying, in-house audience that ABC says will number 6,000.

Revenue from the in-house gate and the 900 number calls will go to the Special Olympics, whose own top athlete will also be honored on the telecast in what may be the only legitimate award of the evening.

The show’s categories are pretty standard, but some of the “best-in-professional-sports” finalists you have to seriously question.

In baseball, Will Clark, Jose Canseco and Nolan Ryan are joined by Bo Jackson, who had a good but not great season for the Kansas City Royals last year, and this season is getting booed by hometown fans while having a terrible time even making contact with the ball.

In football, Jerry Rice, Joe Montana and Lawrence Taylor are also joined by the two-sport Jackson, who last season performed unspectacularly with the Los Angeles Raiders.

In men’s tennis, John McEnroe, who doesn’t play a lot any more, and Andre Agassi, who has never won a Grand Slam tournament, are finalists with Ivan Lendl and Boris Becker.

In women’s tennis, Steffi Graf and Martina Navratilova are finalists with retired Chris Evert and slipping Gabriella Sabatini.

In men’s golf, Greg Norman is joined by a trio of former greats whose best golf is far behind them: Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus and Lee Trevino.

In boxing, over-the-hill Sugar Ray Leonard is a finalist with Mike Tyson, Buster Douglas and Evander Holyfield.

The other categories are basketball, hockey, auto racing, women’s golf and horse racing.

By not not revealing the winners but instead leaving that disclosure to “All-Star Pro Sports Awards,” Inside Sports has become a partner in the promotion of the TV show. What is happening here?

“The sports were chosen by the producers and ABC, and they came to us looking for sports advice to help them,” said Inside Sports editor-in-chief Mickael K. Herbert. “We used our regular editorial channels to come up with 12 candidates in each sport. We struggled with the problem of what is a year, and basically we came down to March (1989) to March (1990).”

The question of who is an all-star was less tricky, apparently.

“Popularity is definitely a strong part of this,” Herbert said. “We did not come to grips with this as acknowledging statistics and best players. We came to grips with this as acknowledging stars with strong public awareness.”

Consequently, he added, “someone like Bo Jackson might get first through his tremendous exposure through advertising.”

In other words, the medium that revs up the Bo show now salutes him for being popular? The medium that helped make Agassi so popular now congratulates him because he’s popular? The medium that fell in love with Sabatini’s face now toasts her for having such a recognizable face?

Doesn’t all this strike Herbert as being just a little bit phony?

“I don’t think this is a phony event at all,” he said. “It’s an opportunity for people to vote on their favorite stars. If the fan club of the star gets behind it and kind of stuffs the ballot box or whatever, we think that’s fine.”

Executive producer Leslie Greif picks up the theme. “We make no pretense about saying these are the greatest athletes,” said Greif, contradicting ABC publicity. “This is a tribute. What we’re doing is taking a pause and saying, ‘We like what you guys do.’ ”

That egomaniac Jose Canseco needs this? Better to write a letter.

Greif said that the winners will appear on the show either in person or via satellite. “You don’t have the opportunity to really see the sports heroes of today,” he said. “You see them in the locker room, on the field of competition and in commercials. But here is a chance to see them in a different way.”

Thanking their fans for stuffing the ballot box.