They Get Messages Across by Air Mail
Faxes to and from the Forum:
Dear Michael:
Had a wonderful time in Chicago. Wish you weren’t there.
-- Magic
Dear Magic:
I just flew into Los Angeles. Cheated. Used a plane.
--Michael Dear Michael:
I went toddlin’ in your town, but most of it was under construction. Chicago’s a nice city. Call me when it’s finished.
--Magic Dear Magic:
Just got off the plane at LAX. Plane ride took four hours. Car to the hotel took five. Call me when you get that train finished.
--Michael Dear Mike:
Hey, man, how come you stopped guarding me? All of a sudden I’ve got Scottie Pippen’s paws all over me. You worn out?
--Earvin Dear Earv:
I notice they never let you guard me . How embarrassing for you. Getting old, huh?
--M.J. Dear Air:
Watch out or I will play center the way I did that day at Philadelphia.
--E.(M.) J Dear NBA Veteran:
I remember that. It was--what?--a couple of decades ago, wasn’t it? Oh, by the way, did you catch me guarding that 7-foot-1 bearded European guy of yours?
--Number 23 Dear Number 23:
As usual--like with your number--you have everything backward. I did it first. You’re just the copycat. Oh, by the way, I just got back from Tiffany’s to get those championship rings appraised. And you?
--Number 32 Dear Prince of Bel-Air:
Close out your account. Five rings are all you get.
--Michael Dear Monster of Midway:
Games 3, 4 and 5 at the Forum, beginning tonight. Be there and bring that “supporting cast” with you. They’re good actors. They act like they think they can win.
--Magic Dear Former NBA MVP:
Bulls 107, Lakers 86. Didn’t you see it? It was in all the papers.
--Current NBA MVP Dear Mr. Individual Achievement:
We all got together before the game and took a vote and decided, “Hey, the poor slobs have never even won one game in the finals. Let’s not embarrass them again in their own town.”
--Noted Team Player Dear Afraid to Shoot:
Watch out or I’ll sic Scottie on you again. Did you see what my Dad called Pippen after Game 2? “Scottie Rodman.” I thought that was funny.
--69 Points in Two Games Dear Air Man:
You can put Gladys Knight and the Pippens on me if you want. Won’t do you no good. I’ll just pass it to James, Sam, Vlade and Byron.
--Magic Man Dear Magic:
That reminds me. Whatever became of Byron?
--Michael Dear Michael:
There you go, talking that trash again. No wonder the Pistons wouldn’t shake your hand.
--Magic Dear Magic:
Shaking hands is exactly like the Pistons. Highly overrated.
--Michael Dear Michael:
Now, now, Mikey. Be a good boy, not a Bad Boy.
--Magic Dear Magic:
I apologize, Ervy. I’m just excited because since Game 2 we’ve really got our game together.
--Michael Dear Michael:
That’s what Portland thought.
--Magic Dear Magical One:
I guess NBC is really broken up about missing out on that big Portland-Detroit rematch.
--Michael Dear Frequent Flier:
Are we getting a percentage of the TV money? Have your people call my people.
--Magic Dear Earvin:
Hey, after those first two games, America might be calling this series Sam vs. Horace.
--Mike Dear Nike Mikey:
Not after that move you made. Some referee’s gonna call you for Illegal Offense.
--Magic Dear Converse-sationalist:
You weren’t so bad yourself. Your supporting cast just missed their shots.
--Michael Dear Bull Shooter:
We don’t call them that out here.
--Magic Dear Magic:
What do you call them then?
--Michael Dear Michael:
Extras. Just kidding.
--Magic Dear Magic:
So, how is this series going to turn out? Bulls in five? Bulls in seven?
--Michael Dear Michael:
Lakers in five? Lakers in six?
--Magic Dear Magic:
(Yawn.) I’d continue this, but I’ve got to go pose for another Wheaties box now. Breakfast of champions, you know.
--Your friend, Michael Dear Michael:
Then how come you’re eating it?
--Your friend, too. Magic
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