Mighty Redskins Will Silence Lions

Unconventional wisdom for a Monday morning . . .

Detroit Lions: Barry Sanders? Thumbs up. Erik Kramer? Two thumbs up. Lions 38, Cowboys 6? High fives all around. But next week’s NFC championship game is still going to be Rose Bowl Revisited--Washington team beats Michigan team by about three touchdowns.

Washington Redskins: Unconditionally, they are the best team in the NFC, under any conditions. Dome, snow, sun, sludge, rain, wind, muck and mire--they are the conference’s only team impervious to the elements. Their AFC equivalent: the Buffalo Bills. Hence, your Super Bowl XXVI matchup.

RFK Stadium: The road from the Silverdome to the Metrodome runs through here. With mud replacing plastic grass and sleet replacing climate-controlled ventilation, it will end here as well. The MVP of the 1991 NFC playoffs.

Buffalo Bills: They are the last obstacle between the Denver Broncos and a fifth trip to the Super Bowl. They have become America’s Team.

John Elway: Mr. January, if January were only 20 days long.

The Drive II: Denver counts the Elway miracles, the rest of the world keeps tabs on what happens afterward. Remember San Francisco 55, Denver 10 in the Broncos’ fourth Super Bowl? The Dive IV.

Gaston Green: Can’t stop rubbing it in, can he?

Kansas City Chiefs: Nice offensive game plan. That’s what spending too many weekends with the Raiders will do for you.

Steve Beuerlein: He looked bad in Pontiac, but Troy Aikman looked worse. Sorry, no second-guessing allowed in Dallas. The Cowboys chose a quarterback and advanced precisely as far as they should have with him. If Beuerlein’s old team is asking itself the same question today, it can’t offer the same answer.

Todd Marinovich: He was spotted this weekend signing autographs--for $12 a pop--at a card show in Lakewood. Similar deal for Kenny Stabler. No such deal for Jay Schroeder.

Warren Moon: He’s 35 now and this was the best chance he was going to get at a Super Bowl. Most likely, the Ernie Banks of the NFL.

Bill Parcells: No to Tampa Bay, no to Green Bay, no to any NFL franchise presently at bay. He’s Dr. No. And he doesn’t do house calls.

Bruce Snyder: Money talks and the Golden Bear walks. Why else would Snyder make a barely-if-that lateral move? His decision-making process, in a nutshell: Berkeley’s coffee houses or Tempe’s strip malls--you don’t leave Cal for the culture. Russell White or Sun Devil blight--you don’t leave Cal for the football. Annual contract calling for $200,000 or $600,000? You leave Cal.

Cal: Snyder’s successor could be his old offensive coordinator, Terry Shea, who has finished first and second in the Big West in his two seasons as the head coach at San Jose State. And if Shea goes, who does San Jose hire? A fellow by the name of Gene Murphy was runner-up to Shea the last time San Jose went head coach hunting.

John Robinson: His first go in the CBS studio seemed as comfortable as his overstuffed chair. Robinson always knew his way around a microphone and you know what they say about broadcasting. Fumble a line and at least it’s your own fumble, not Cleveland Gary’s, not Vernon Turner’s, not Jim Everett’s.

Don Robinson: Is Whitey Herzog assembling a 40-man roster or just the disabled list?

Danny Tartabull: Good to see that Whitey and Dennis Gilbert, The First Player Agent To Ever Tell a Lie, are talking again. Not that it was ever going to do the Angels any good; this time, the Angels will lose the hard-hitting free-agent outfielder to the other New York team, where the comparisons to Bobby Bonilla can be fleshed out daily in the tabloids. For starters: It’s been more than a month since the Mets bought Bonilla--or is it the other way around?--and Tartabull, a player who outhomered Bonilla (31-18) and outhit Bonilla (.316-.302), is just now finding a taker, and a rather desperate one at that. A tad suspicious, no? Suggested stat-page box for the tabloids next summer: Bonilla Vs. Tartabull--Number of Games Missed.

Chicago White Sox: If their trade discussions with the New York Yankees continue to progress, they may soon have a Chicago White Sax at second base. If not, if Steve Sax won’t go, the New York Post will have a headline: SAX SAX SOX.

Cal State Fullerton: OK, so the Titans nearly beat UCLA at Pauley Pavilion and got a little carried away. That didn’t mean they had to schedule a football game, too.

Hugh Culverhouse: Bill Parcells jilted him “at the altar.” Dennis Erickson didn’t even get that far. Culverhouse owns the Angels of the NFL. Nobody wants to be a Buccaneer.

Co-national college football champions (again): The fans and the media want some kind of playoff system. The coaches and the bowl directors want the status quo. Has anyone ever thought to poll the players? If they’re too tired by Jan. 1, if their class schedules are too loaded, fine, keep it the way it is. But if they can bear another week or two of camera days and press breakfasts, by all means, play a championship game. Which football final would you rather see this month--Washington-Buffalo or Washington-Miami?