High Life / A WEEKLY FORUM FOR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS : Why Do Men Make a Show of Silence?

The strong and silent type gets all the girls. . . . Play through the pain, don’t show you’re hurt. . . . Boys don’t cry.

With such standards as these to adhere to, it’s no wonder males have trouble expressing their emotions.

Hot Topics asks, “Why don’t boys talk about their feelings?”

“Because guys don’t like to be emotional. Most of the guys I know try to act macho, and they never talk about their feelings.”

Lien Tran, 17,

junior, Saddleback

“Sometimes we don’t know who to talk to. Who would truly understand to the extent of being able to listen and make a difference? Some feelings are better kept to one’s self.”

Josh Rencher, 15,

sophomore, Villa Park

“They kind of feel vulnerable when they let you know their feelings. They don’t like to have faults and weaknesses.”

Lupe Nava, 18,

senior, Cypress

“I don’t talk about or share my feelings and emotions because I believe they are my problems and personal feelings. I just don’t feel comfortable with talking about my life to other people. But I feel that many guys do talk about their feelings in private with other guys.”

Damion Butler, 16,

junior, Dana Hills

“Men who are fathers now were raised by their fathers and taught that it was wrong.”

Shauna Kadel, 17,

junior, Troy

“Because they don’t have any, or they’re afraid to face them.”

Ryan Rimmer, 17,

senior, Tustin

“Because they feel if they only show their toughness, they are seen as ‘real’ men. Also, they feel they have to show women they are strong.”

Angie Nguven, 14,

freshman, Pacifica

“They have too much pride and don’t want to feel stupid by showing people their true feelings.”

Brandon Haworth, 17,

senior, Orange

“Cool guys do, like my boyfriend, but some guys think they have an image to uphold. What they don’t realize is that people like them for who they are, not for what they try to be.”

Heather Campbell, 16,

junior, University

“They’re afraid to show their true feelings because they’re afraid that some insensitive girl will make fun of them.”

Jay Yamamoto, 17,

junior, Ocean View

“Sometimes they do. . . . You just have to develop a good relationship so that they will trust you enough to tell.”

Sheri Willes, 17,

senior, Fullerton

“Because it is unlike a man.”’

Paul Yang, 17,

senior, Saddleback

“According to most females, guys need to be emotionally secure, and to maintain that status, they usually keep their emotional feelings and problems to themselves and try to deal with them by themselves. By doing this, we females think that they don’t have any problems or feelings.”

Kristine Hutton, 16,

junior, Dana Hills

“Sharing feelings can make you feel vulnerable. How many guys are secure enough with themselves to take the chance of leaving themselves vulnerable?”

Nathan Dunn, 15,

sophomore, Villa Park

“It only gets you hurt.”

Jason Gonzalez, 18,

senior, Cypress

“If they’re raised within a family that doesn’t express its feelings, then you can’t expect them to.”

Kara Hoffman, 16,

junior, Troy

“We have too much pride.”

Ray Pascua, 18,

senior, Tustin

“For the simple fact that they are shy and insecure.”

Cynthia Stevens, 14,

freshman, Pacifica

“It’s not a manly thing to do.”

Luis Artavia, 17,

senior, Cypress

“For some reason they’re embarrassed or they feel girls will think they’re weak.”

Heather Nicolson, 16,

junior, Orange

“Because they don’t want to appear to have any weakness in front of others who they respect and want respect from.”

Jason Chang, 16,

junior, Ocean View

“Boys don’t talk about their problems because they’re insecure. They like to feel powerful. It’s a sign of weakness to express their emotions.”

Ashlie Smith, 16,

junior, University

“Sometimes a guy is afraid that if he expresses how he truly feels, he will get squashed. Sometimes it is the only defense a guy can have.”

Greg Lewis, 16,

junior, Fullerton

Next Week’s Hot Topic:

Why is it so hard for people to accept that someone of the opposite sex can be just a friend?

Responses gathered by Jessica Hulsey (Cypress), Tina Toochinda (Dana Hills), Kelly St. John (Fullerton), Seema Mehta (Ocean View), Tram Nguyen (Orange), Diana Mueller (Pacifica), Regina Hoang (Saddleback), Layne Mosler (Troy), Rachel Tuinstra (Tustin), Claudine Ko (University) and Juanita Chang (Villa Park).

DR, JUDY TSAI