You Can Bet He Will Get Them Up to His Speed

Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post writes that Paul Westhead, former coach of the Lakers and Denver Nuggets, has found his niche as coach at George Mason in Fairfax, Va.

“Westhead’s loony warp-speed system can’t work in the NBA. You can’t give up open shots in the pros simply to get the ball back so you can storm down court like a band of berserk gunslingers in a spaghetti Western.

“NBA players are too good. It’s not that they won’t miss many shots--they won’t miss any shots.

“But they’re not that good in the Colonial Athletic Assn. They’re not going to consistently hit 20-footers in the CAA. If they could, they’d be in the ACC.”

Add Westhead: More from Kornheiser: “Westhead is a coup. I don’t care if he’s 54 years old. I don’t care if he’s as nutty as a fruitcake with his Star Wars Offense.”

Trivia time: In 1980, Willie McCovey hit the 521st and final home run of his career against what still-active pitcher?

No tenderfoot: Charlie Hough, the Florida Marlins’ 45-year-old pitcher, was hit on his right foot by a line drive off the bat of the Mets’ Vince Coleman in a recent game.

However, his foot wasn’t even swollen after the game. “It’s an old foot,” Hough said.

George’s world: Some quotes from a new book, “The Wit and Wisdom of George Steinbrenner,” by Frank Coffey:

On trading designated hitter Don Baylor to Boston in 1986: “Baylor’s bat will be dead by August.” (Baylor hit 31 home runs with 94 runs batted in that year, helping the Red Sox win the pennant).

When he was informed that 63-year-old scout Clyde King had fallen out of a treehouse and suffered a broken collarbone and other injuries in 1989: “What the hell was he doing at home? He’s supposed to be scouting.”

Oxen idol: From Track & Field News: “Nike head Phil Knight says that in a recent poll of Chinese high school students asked to name the world’s greatest man it was ‘a tie between Chou En-Lai and Michael Jordan of the Chicago Red Oxen.’ ”

Woeful Wolves: Dan Barreiro of the Star Tribune of Minneapolis commenting on the Minnesota Timberwolves, who finished the NBA regular season with a 19-63 record:

“Their first No. 1 draft choice, Pooh Richardson, was traded to Indiana for Chuck Person, known as the Rifleman because he shoots his own team in the foot on every fifth possession, and Micheal Williams, who fights through picks no harder than he fights through injuries.”

Saliva salute: From “Baseball’s Even Greater Insults”: Gene Mauch on former Dodger pitcher Don Drysdale, now a broadcaster: “He talks very well for a guy who has had two fingers in his mouth all his life.”

Trivia answer: Scott Sanderson, now of the Angels.

Quotebook: Tom Wargo, a recent winner on the Senior PGA Tour: “Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.”