Time to put Governor Pete out to...

Time to put Governor Pete out to pasture?It could be a bad omen for California’s governor as he prepares for his reelection campaign. A horse named Governor Pete made his debut the other day at Santa Anita and finished eighth in a field of 10.

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Wait until “Inside Edition” hears this theory about road kills: “Since it’s L.A. Auto Show time,” Gordon Johnson of L.A. writes, “you might want to mention this new term that I’m convinced will enter the dictionary in a few years.”

Johnson came across it in Car and Driver magazine’s discussion of the problem of jaywalking animals. Writer Larry Griffin wondered if some critters were “trying to get Kevorked by a speeding car.”

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It’s safe to say this is an odd description: “Santa left me a welcome safety device (a combined alarm and flashlight),” wrote Joyce Clark Shults of Chatsworth. But she notes that his elves had a problem describing “its hand-dandy carrying loop” (see illustration).

Further proof that L.A. is a weightlifting center: Larry Nevers and Walter Budzyn, two ex-Detroit cops convicted of murdering a motorist, wrote their supporters from a Texas prison that they have received so many threats from other inmates that they have befriended two 6-foot-2, 300-pound prisoners for protection . . . “a gun/dope dealer from Hamtramck (and) a bank robber from San Pedro, Calif.”

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And keep your hands off them, Irwindale: What more is there to say of the Raiders’ dramatic wins over Denver the last two weeks in Exposition Park? Perhaps Cole Porter said it best in song:

You’re the top / You’re the Colosseum . . . .

We just can’t understand why he gave the L.A. Coliseum a Latin spelling.

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Next time we’ll mark our territory better: As we continue to paw through Jon Winokur’s “Mondo Canine” collection, we found a tale about one Milton Kagen, who was angered by dogs relieving themselves in his yard while their masters “watched placidly.” So Kagen posted a sign on his Hollywood property, warning that his plants were sprayed with “dioxinleucomaine,” which brought an end to the problem.

And what’s dioxinleucomaine? “I made up the word,” Kagen proudly admitted.

Gee, how did Only in L.A. miss this story? Wait a minute! Winokur acknowledges that he did lift it from Only in L.A.

We’re mondo relieved, even if we’re not getting so much as a scrap of the royalties.

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Today’s handy hint: “Mondo Canine” also quotes comedian Jay Leno on a sensitive problem that too many families avoid discussing. “If you want to cure your dog’s bad breath,” Leno said, “just pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.”

miscelLAny:

Carl’s Jr., founded in L.A. half a century ago, proclaims in its restaurants that it is the “first major fast-food chain to provide carpeted and upholstered dining rooms and service to the table.” What, no chandeliers?