Dangerous Curves?

Is Anna Nicole Smith the Edy Williams of the ‘90s? The statuesque--and these days, Rubenesque--former Guess? model was a fleshy vision, preening and posing before a gaggle of excited paparazzi at Movieline magazine’s post-Oscar bash Monday night.

“Voluptuous is one thing,” noted one guest, “but don’t you think she’s put on a few pounds?”

Well, she did look a little overinflated compared to all the skinny young things in slinky black slip dresses. Better make that the Anita Ekberg of the ‘90s.

But Smith can take solace in the fact that she’s offered up as the epitome of curvy womanliness in Mirabella’s April cover story, “The Return of the Real Woman.” So there.

Oh, and pass the Lactose-Free Ultra Slim-Fast. Reality is so overrated, don’t you think?

Is Nothing Sacred?: After launching glow-in-the-dark boxers and a prepackaged week’s worth of clean underwear, the Joe Boxer company is now taking its show on-line. We recently spotted the San Francisco-based label’s name on the Internet computer service. Subscribers were asked to share their weirdest and wackiest torn-and-tattered undies tales with owner-designer Nicholas Graham. He needs the anecdotes for a book on--what else?--underwear, to be published by Chronicle Books in ’95.

“We’re inviting everyone to share their best stories in underwear cyberspace,” marketing director Denise Slattery said.

Uh, we think we’ll just keep our fly zipped. But the rest of you blabbermouths can air your dirty laundry via Internet at joeboxer@jboxer.com.

Radical Chic: While former activist Angela Davis lives a quiet life as a university professor in Santa Cruz, a new generation is busy immortalizing her as a fashion icon. Davis said she was “astounded, shocked, surprised” by Vibe magazine’s March fashion spread, “Free Angela,” in which actress Cynda Williams plays the Afro-wearing ‘70s firebrand.

Davis is concerned that photographer Albert Watson’s mock documentary loses sight of the political statements the clothing and hairstyles of that era represented, she told the Washington Post. Still, she said, “I can’t say that I’m totally critical.” And with good reason. She never looked better.

If Only the Clothes Were as Thought-Provoking: A German court Wednesday banned Benetton’s ad showing buttocks and limbs tattooed with HIV Positive. We pass such a billboard, set atop a Mormon bookstore on Santa Monica Boulevard, several times a day and have yet to be offended, but the court said the Italian company’s campaign breached German advertising laws and was in bad taste.

Meanwhile, the battle is already brewing over Benetton’s latest bit of agitprop--an ad featuring a photo of the blood-stained clothes of a soldier killed in Bosnia. That one’s been banned in Croatia.

Oh, a Model and a Rocket Scientist: The recent opening of fashion photographer Marco Glaviano’s exhibit at Bowles Sorokko Gallery in Beverly Hills was sprinkled with models. Jennifer Flavin (sans Sly Stallone) came to see pals Tatiana and Analisa, whose lovely images are featured in several of Glaviano’s photographs. Tatiana, wife of gallery owner Sere Sorokko, had just returned from the Paris and Milan shows, where she trotted the runways of Christian Dior, Yves Saint Laurent, Balmain, Gianfranco Ferre and Giorgio Armani.

When her modeling career ends, she said, she might “work for NASA.” Tatiana studied physics at the Moscow Institute of Physics and Engineering before signing with Elite modeling agency. Her husband seems to have other plans. “I think a family might be a better idea,” he said.

Terror Tactics: Need a little reminder to follow your skin-care regime? How about a 5-by-7 glossy that magnifies your enlarged pores, broken capillaries, sun blotches and crows feet to 15 times their natural size?

The Japanese company Shiseido’s latest high-tech approach is designed to strike fear in hearts of lazy girls like us. The cosmetics company uses a fiber-optic lens to photograph different parts of the face, which are then transmitted to a TV monitor of sorts. Within 60 seconds, the machine prints out a color replica of dirt-clogged pores.

“It generates incredible retail,” a Shiseido saleswoman said. No kidding. The Multi-Micro-Sensor is touring Shiseido counters around town through July. No purchase necessary.

Location, Location, Location: Merchants and residents of Beverly Hills were invited to unload everything from suits to shoes Thursday at the Rodeo Drive Committee’s second annual Clothing Drive. Proceeds go to Transition House, a project of Skid Row Development Corporation. The drop-off point? The vacated Chanel boutique at Dayton Way. Only the best for these castoffs.

When Trends Collide: Sharon Stone may have been right on track with her ‘30s movie star look at the Academy Awards this week. That would certainly explain the paradoxical proliferation of unfettered breasts (Goldie Hawn, Madeleine Stowe, Ellen Barkin, Geena Davis, Marisa Tomei and Winona Ryder) and little white gloves (Winona Ryder, Kate Capshaw and Marisa Tomei). Claudia Schiffer, we noticed, left the gloves at home. Guess her new five-carat diamond engagement ring had to breathe. Inside Out is published Fridays.