THE NBA / MARK HEISLER : Rodman Proves That He’s an Easy Player to Cover

It’s getting weird out here (cont.): Are you ready for Dennis Rodman . . . cover boy?

Loathe him or hate him, you can’t get away from Rodman, the entertainer .

I’m not exactly sure what’s so entertaining about tattoos, pierced flesh and dyed hair, but, as a basketball fan, I love to watch Rodman at work, and it’s great fun watching him putting pins in his Bob Hill doll.

However, the networks and the magazines have grasped a great truth: Dennis sells. Last week, he appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated in hot pants, halter top and rhinestone-studded dog collar (in a concession to propriety, the magazine refused his request to pose nude) and in a cover story in USA Today, the Boy’s Life of sports journalism.

Rodman, an astute judge of circulation for one so crazy, is on another of his periodic p.r. binges, in which he takes a writer on a tour of his chaotic lifestyle: the jaunts to Las Vegas to throw away more money, the limos, “models,” gay clubs, etc., all the while proclaiming his alienation, boredom with the game, plans to become an actor, willingness to die, etc.

Writers approach at their own peril and are often sucked up, like children who run away to join the circus.

Last fall, the man from Gentleman’s Quarterly went to a tattoo parlor with Rodman and wound up getting tattooed himself, trying to experience Dennis’ pain.

The man from Sports Illustrated wrote that Rodman is such a good rebounder “because he becomes one with the ball.”

It’s getting very deep out here too.

Meanwhile, back at the playoffs. . . .

Yes, Rodman plays basketball, too, when Hill isn’t in a snit, although the way the San Antonio Spur-Houston Rocket series is going, Rodman may soon be free to be an entertainer, full time.

Hill, more famous for benching Rodman, panicked and benched Avery Johnson and Vinny Del Negro too in the Game 2 loss. Even his officer and gentleman, David Robinson, yelped in protest.

“This is not the time to be playing games.” Robinson said. “. . . You need to know who you can count on in the game. You need to know who’s going to come in and play.”

What the Spurs really need is their MVP. A year ago, Robinson averaged a pale 20 points and shot 41% in the first-round loss to the Utah Jazz. Now, he’s being treated like a punk by Hakeem Olajuwon, who seems to think he’s just another Tom Chambers or A.C. Green. Through three games, it’s Hakeem, 109-81.

Meanwhile, the TV cameras watch Rodman’s every gesture of disdain and Hill blames the press for the mess. Of course, the press didn’t trade for Rodman, the Spurs did.

Rodman, promised a $4-million one-year contract extension by the old Spur regime and put on hold by the new guys, now wants $8 million.

If hard-line Spur General Manager Gregg Popovich had his way, the Spurs would put Rodman in the stocks in the city square the way they did in colonial days, but he might have to settle for simply not signing him.

Question: Is there anyone left out there who would take Rodman, and if so, why?

Personally, I’d like to see Dennis get some good therapy. Of course, after a couple of weeks, his shrink would probably leave home and get tattoos and earrings.

RILES: STILL IN A NEW YORK STATE OF MIND

Pat Riley hasn’t made it official, but he acts as if he has decided to return to the New York Knicks next season.

This raises another question: If he is coming back, why did he refuse to sign that $3-million-a-year extension and allow his contract status to become an issue, distract his players and undermine his authority? Whatever, Riley needed only to believe the Knicks could win a championship before he’d return. This took some doing, but he did it, in his head, anyway.

“We had a team that was good enough to win,” Riley said last week. “I don’t care what anybody says. . . . [But] for the majority of the season, we were pulling apart.”

OK, how to put them back together?

The Knicks don’t have a No. 1 pick (it goes to Dallas for Rolando Blackman). Free agent Anthony Mason will probably leave, enhancing harmony but costing the Knicks a valuable player. Patrick Ewing gets a salary-cap-busting $18 million next season and Charles Oakley gets $8 million. Helpful New York writers are suggesting trading Oakley for Latrell Sprewell or Mitch Richmond. Why not even up for Michael Jordan?

A more realistic deal would be Oakley to Seattle for Kendall Gill, who once had star potential but now simply needs a home.

Meanwhile, Orlando will be another year older, Chicago will have Jordan, Indiana is a two-time Eastern finalist and Charlotte is coming.

The Knicks’ window isn’t closing, it’s being bricked over, but Riley isn’t ready for the beach just yet.

Ask him again around Christmas.

THE LOTTERY: EARLY GLIMMERS

Not since the lottery began in 1985 has the situation been so fluid.

Four sophomores are expected to go first, but nobody is sure which of the three big sophomores is best.

The Bulls are shopping Scottie Pippen. They need a big man, want to let Toni Kukoc play small forward, don’t want to give Pippen more money and began calling lottery teams the day after they were eliminated.

However, Pippen is 30 and has problems. He was named in a paternity suit and charged with a count of domestic violence last week. Police released two more reports alleging domestic violence in which the women refused to press charges.

Here’s the situation now:

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS--They claim they’d take guard Jerry Stackhouse but are probably only trying to get someone below them, like the Philadelphia 76ers, to trade up, as the Magic did in 1993 when it got Penny Hardaway and three Warrior No. 1s. However, after years of small teams and one year of Chris Webber, they still need a big player: Joe Smith. Dark horse: Antonio McDyess.

CLIPPERS--Anything can happen here.

They tried to trade for Pippen last season. They could take the solid-gold Stackhouse. Bill Fitch, denying they have to pick a big man, says he’s getting two back this week--Stanley Roberts and Elmore Spencer. Did someone check to see if he had his fingers crossed? Figure the next-best big man. Smith or McDyess over the more gifted but less accomplished Rasheed Wallace.

76ERS--They have a good young front line and are panting after Stackhouse. If that doesn’t work out, John Lucas, Mr. Second Chance, could trade for Pippen.

WASHINGTON BULLETS--Same deal as the 76ers. They want Stackhouse and have tried to trade for Pippen.

EARVIN, THE SEQUEL: HE’S B-A-A-A-C-K?

Laker insiders say Jerry West is OK with the idea of another Magic Johnson comeback and Del Harris likes it, suggesting the decks have been cleared for Magic III.

West used to grind his teeth at the thought, especially after Johnson did a U-turn in 1992. However, if Harris wants it, it’s OK with West.

However, there can’t be any more U-turns.

If someone says he doesn’t want to play against Johnson--and someone will--Magic can’t say he doesn’t want the hassle. There are a lot of superstitious players who won’t believe the doctors who say they’re in no danger.

There are questions about how it will work out: Can Magic play power forward? This was Nick Van Exel’s team, and now it won’t be.

On the other hand, there is so much they can learn from Johnson.

Take Eddie Jones. Didn’t like to do interviews. Didn’t like to do charity work. Didn’t like it when people wrote stories about his struggle to return from injury.

Where does this guy come off having an attitude? He was everyone’s favorite from the moment he showed up. He got tons of favorable publicity. Everyone said he was a nice shy guy and a great young player.

Hey, Eddie, it doesn’t get any better than that. If you thought last season was rough, wait ‘til you see the rest of your career.