He Sure Can’t Break Record From Bench

Some more “unbreakable” baseball records as reported by Jayson Stark of the Philadelphia Inquirer from Joe Dittmar’s book, “Baseball’s Benchmark Boxscores”:

“Bill (the Thrill) O’Neill--Here’s a record that probably is even safe from Jose Offerman: most errors in one game--six. O’Neill set it while playing shortstop for the Boston Pilgrims on May 21, 1904. O’Neill was normally an outfielder.”

Trivia time: Who holds the UCLA record for the longest run from scrimmage?

Out of place?Rod Stafford Hagwood of the Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel has some advice for Pat Riley when he takes over as coach of the Miami Heat:

“That slick-backed hair and those Armani suits are going to get you in trouble in South Florida. They’ll say, ‘Who’s the Eurotrash coaching the Heat?’ ”

Wallflowers?Wayne Fontes, Detroit Lion coach, on his team’s 0-3 start: “Our backs are close to being against the wall.” With the unbeaten San Francisco 49ers as the Lions’ next opponent Monday night, those backs probably will be firmly pressed against the wall.

Trash city: George Vecsey of the New York Times in the renaming of Candlestick Park: “Mayor Frank Jordan of San Francisco blithely declared ‘the city can take great pride’ in the name 3Com Park. Right. And Telegraph Hill can be renamed after a garbage-bag company.”

Clip and save: How good are the Oregon Ducks, who are 3-0 heading into today’s game against Stanford? Said Oregon Coach Mike Bellotti: “We have a good team, potentially a great team.”

Ocean hazard: Golf Digest reports that the Royal Caribbean’s cruise ship, Legend of the Sea, features a 6,000-square-foot miniature golf course on board.

The layout features rough, sand traps, flowers, heather and, of course, one giant water hazard.

Looking back: On this day in 1933, USC defeated Occidental, 39-0, and Whittier, 51-0, in a football doubleheader at the Coliseum.

Trivia answer: Chuck Cheshire, 93 yards against Montana in 1934. Cheshire also has the distinction as the first UCLA player drafted by the NFL, a second-round selection by the Detroit Lions in 1936.

Quotebook: Chuck Klingbeil, Miami Dolphin defensive tackle, on Deion Sanders: “You don’t need him to win a Super Bowl. If he goes to Tampa, they’re not going to win the Super Bowl.”