They’re Winless for Good Reason: They’re No Good

When the winless New York Giants and Jets play Sunday in East Rutherford, N.J., there is bound to be a winner, although Steve Serby of the New York Post isn’t so sure.

“As competitions go, this isn’t Ali-Frazier. It’s Butterbean-Gastineau,” he wrote. “The winner of the game is still a loser.

“The loser of the game shouldn’t even bother returning to the locker room. The loser should walk straight out of Giants Stadium . . . and keep walking.”

Add losers: Syndicated columnist Norman Chad on the Giants and Jets: “The Jets’ offense is reminiscent of the Running of the Bulls, only less organized. The Giants’ offense is reminiscent of a landfill, only less mobile.

“[Boxing note: Mike Tyson’s next opponent--the Jets.]”

Trivia time: What was Lou Holtz’s record when he coached the Jets in 1976?

Damn the torpedoes: Notre Dame will play Navy on Nov. 2 in Dublin, Ireland, and, despite the site, Navy Coach Charlie Weatherbie is looking forward to the game.

“I can’t think of a better place to beat the Fighting Irish than in front of 60,000 people in Ireland,” he said.

Weatherbie is the consummate optimist, considering that Notre Dame has won 32 consecutive games from the Midshipmen.

Worm sighting: Lacy Banks of the Chicago Sun-Times reports that Dennis Rodman is in Monte Carlo, where he’s filming his role in the futuristic movie “The Colony,” which stars Jean-Claude Van Damme.

“They tell me he’s the next Arnold Schwarzenegger,” said Rodman’s agent, Dwight Manley.

Question: Who are they?

Nowhere coach: Dallas quarterback Troy Aikman said recently that he has a good working relationship with Coach Barry Switzer. However, in a book written by Skip Bayless, “The Crazy Truth About the ‘Win or Else’ Cowboys,” Aikman dismissed Switzer, saying:

“I don’t give Barry any credit for any of our wins, nor do I blame him for any of our losses. Really, I’m not sure what he does as a head coach.”

FYI: One of the most enduring NFL records was set Nov. 28, 1929, when Ernie Nevers of the Chicago Cardinals scored 40 points in a game against the Chicago Bears.

Looking back: On this day in 1973, Billie Jean King defeated Bobby Riggs in straight sets to win the “Battle of the Sexes” and the $100,000 winner-take-all purse in Houston.

Trivia answer: Holtz, now the Notre Dame coach, had a 3-10 record, resigning with one game left in the season.

And finally: It’s incongruous to Tim Keown of the San Francisco Chronicle that former Princeton basketball coach Pete Carril is now an assistant coach with the Sacramento Kings.

“Carril is the anti-NBA,” Keown wrote. “He’s the anti-scholarship, anti-cheat, anti-playground, anti-selfish coach who always sat on the bench looking like he was about to pass a stone. The man is as collegiate as a blue book.”