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CAPSULES AND RANKINGS
Team: 1. Denver (7-1)
Opponent: at Oakland
Comment: Al tried trading for Elway. Would’ve expected kidnapping.
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Team: 2. San Francisco (6-2)
Opponent: at New Orleans
Comment: Dazed Steve Young says he’s voting for Bush.
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Team: 3. Green Bay (7-1)
Opponent: Detroit
Comment: Do Cheeseheads dress down for Halloween?
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Team: 4. Dallas (5-3)
Opponent: Philadelphia
Comment: Little boys wanna grow up to be like Barry.
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Team: 5. Washington (7-1)
Opponent: at Buffalo
Comment: Cooke sees team in playoffs; check his glasses.
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Team: 6. Pittsburgh (6-2)
Opponent: St. Louis
Comment: Humanitarians take note: Bettis takes on Rams.
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Team: 7. Philadelphia (6-2)
Opponent: at Dallas
Comment: Detmer 3-0 as a starter. The impossible dream?
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Team: 8. Minnesota (5-3)
Opponent: Kansas City
Comment: Vikings falling faster than Twin Cities temperatures.
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Team: 9. Houston (5-3)
Opponent: at Seattle
Comment: Arachnophobia--fear of spiders; McNairophobia--fear of unknown.
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Team: 10. Buffalo (5-3)
Opponent: Washington
Comment: Kelly revives Scott Norwood memories: wide right.
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Team: 11. Indianapolis (5-3)
Opponent: San Diego
Comment: Battered Colts ordered by doctors to play Chargers.
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Team: 12. Kansas City (5-3)
Opponent: at Minnesota
Comment: Chiefs don’t chop-block, just lose in playoffs.
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Team: 13. Carolina (5-3)
Opponent: at Atlanta
Comment: Dom versus June. Whatever happened to Tom, Dick and Harry?
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Team: 14. New England (5-3)
Opponent: Miami
Comment: First Barry, now Parcells. Things getting easier for Jimmy.
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Team: 15. Miami (4-4)
Opponent: at New England
Comment: Everglades searched for players who let Johnson down.
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Team: 16. Detroit (4-4)
Opponent: at Green Bay
Comment: Angry Scott Mitchell throws helmet. It’s intercepted.
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Team: 17. Oakland (4-4)
Opponent: Denver
Comment: Al Davis wears all black--minus crowbar--looks like Raider fan.
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Team: 18. San Diego (4-4)
Opponent: at Indianapolis
Comment: Ross apologizes for lousy play. No word from players.
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Team: 19. Baltimore (3-5)
Opponent: Cincinnati
Comment: Cleveland gets team in 1999. Baltimore still waiting.
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Team: 20. Seattle (3-5)
Opponent: Houston
Comment: Petition to play Chargers every week denied.
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Team: 21. Jacksonville (3-6)
Opponent: Idle
Comment: Team hates coach ‘cause he’s mean; try working for editor.
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Team: 22. Arizona (3-5)
Opponent: at N.Y. Giants
Comment: Two words to fans who want team to move to L.A.: Bill Bidwill.
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Team: 23. N.Y. Giants (3-5)
Opponent: Arizona
Comment: A ticker-tape parade in Newark for a .500 record.
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Team: 24. Chicago (3-5)
Opponent: Tampa Bay
Comment: Bryan Cox breaks thumb, reports finger’s just fine.
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Team: 25. New Orleans (2-6)
Opponent: San Francisco
Comment: Saints’ coaching search begins--on Bourbon Street.
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Team: 26. Cincinnati (2-6)
Opponent: at Baltimore
Comment: Tonya Harding offers to resuscitate.
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Team: 27. St. Louis (2-6)
Opponent: at Pittsburgh
Comment: To Gillian on her 37th birthday--two Ram tickets.
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Team: 28. Tampa Bay (1-7)
Opponent: at Chicago
Comment: Tampa awarded Super Bowl--couldn’t expect Buccaneers to win it.
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Team: 29. NY Jets (1-8)
Opponent: Idle
Comment: Unprepared paparazzi miss shot of Kotite winning.
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Team: 30. Wyoming (8-0)
Opponent: SMU
Comment: NFL votes to add another Cowboy team, drops 0-8 Atlanta.
THE POLLS: Associated Press and USA Today/CNN--C12
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