Incident Leaves Most Comedians Just Beaming

The 500-pound support beam that fell into the stands at Yankee Stadium recently has inspired comedians. A sampling:

“It was a good thing no one was in the stands when the beam fell,” said Craig Kilborn of “The Daily Show” on Comedy Central. “Somebody might have stolen it.”

And this from Jay Leno: “Big promotion for all you baseball fans. Tomorrow night at Yankee Stadium, Helmet night.”

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Trivia time: In 1961, the San Francisco 49ers drafted two UCLA players in the first round. Who were they?

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Liar, liar: Rich McKay, general manager of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, on the secretive nature of the NFL draft:

“Misinformation is part of the game. It’s Indian poker where you put the card up [on your forehead]. You’re trying to see the card and see everyone else’s card and no one is telling the truth.”

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No way: Randy Galloway of the Dallas Morning News writing on the Cowboys rejecting an opportunity to draft wide receiver Randy Moss:

“Instead of ‘No Moss,’ what the Cowboys actually were saying was ‘No Mas.’ As in no more of the Evil Empire days and old ways. As in a potential problem not being worth the risk.”

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Willing to wait: Houston Rocket guard Clyde Drexler will coach at the University of Houston men’s basketball team next season. Michael Jordan asked him if there is anything he can do to help him in his new job.

Said Drexler: “Send me your kids.”

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Dubious distinction: Manfred Burgsmuller can claim to be the oldest person ever to play pro football. The kicker for the Rhein Fire of the NFL Europe League is 48 years, 3 months, 28 days old.

Until earlier this month, the distinction belonged to George Blanda, who was 48 years, 3 months 18 days old when he played his last game for the Oakland Raiders in January 1976 against Pittsburgh in the AFC championship game.

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Fascinating numbers: The Colorado Rockies scored a total of 20 runs in the first two games at Coors Field this season--and lost both.

Florida Marlin Coach Rich Donnelly said of following those games on the scoreboard:

“It’s like watching the stock market.”

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Ripoff? Jon Schmitz writing in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: “Pity the poor Boston Red Sox fan. Not only has his team gone 76 years without winning the World Series--he pays the highest average ticket price in the big leagues.”

The Red Sox’s average price is $20.63, 12 cents higher than the New York Yankees’. The lowest average price is $8.22, paid by Minnesota Twin fans.

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Trivia answer: Defensive back Jimmy Johnson and quarterback Bill Kilmer. Johnson is the NFL Hall of Fame.

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And finally: In the April 20 edition of ESPN the Magazine, a SportsZone poll asked: “Who is the best player in the NFL draft, Peyton Manning or Ryan Leaf?”

With 45,768 votes cast, Leaf got 64% of the vote, Manning 36%. Manning, of course, was the first player selected in the draft, by the Indianapolis Colts; Leaf was No. 2, selected by the San Diego Chargers.