Here’s Some More Marriages Not Exactly Made in Heaven

A review of Week 11 in the NFL, and the last time the Atlanta Falcons were in first place in the NFC West Division this late in the season, the headlines had the Dow nudging the 1,000 mark and the Democrats offering President-elect Ronald Reagan a honeymoon.

But the Honeymoon’s Over . . .

. . . for Philadelphia’s Ray Rhodes, Washington’s Norv Turner, Baltimore’s Ted Marchibroda, Chicago’s Dave Wannstedt, New England’s Pete Carroll, St. Louis’ Dick Vermeil, Cincinnati’s Bruce Coslet and Seattle’s Dennis Erickson.

Said Vermeil, “I stink, my coaching staff stinks, we all stink.”

When Erickson looks back on what did him in this season, he will point to former Arena League quarterback Donald Hollas, who led the Raiders to two victories in a span of three weeks over his Seahawks.

“We did a lot of dumb things . . . “ said Erickson, and sorry to interrupt, but that’s all he needs to say.

Now What?

* The New England Patriots opened the season 4-1 and now stand 5-5 with a Monday night assignment at home against the AFC East Division-leading Miami Dolphins, followed by dates with Buffalo, Pittsburgh, and later with San Francisco and the New York Jets.

* The Buffalo Bills, who opened the season 0-3 before putting their fate in Doug Flutie’s hands, are one game behind the Dolphins and can still fatten their record against the Indianapolis Colts and Cincinnati Bengals.

* The New Orleans Saints are 5-5, but their final six opponents have a combined record of 40-20. The Arizona Cardinals are 5-5, but their final six opponents have a combined record of 20-40.

* Chicago won three games in October, but has lost to St. Louis and Detroit back to back and must play Green Bay twice in its final six games.

“It’s disappointing, it’s exhausting, it’s disgusting,” said Bear defensive tackle Jim Flanigan. He wasn’t talking about the Dec. 3, Thursday night, CBS-nationally televised game between St. Louis and Philadelphia, but he could have been.

Failing Another Exam

He’s a stand-up guy, tries so hard and fails so miserably. Once again when Tampa Bay needed quarterback Trent Dilfer, he was unable to save the day.

The Buccaneers led the Jacksonville Jaguars and had the ball with less than three minutes to play, but Dilfer was unable to complete a third-down pass. Tampa Bay punted and on the first play from scrimmage Jacksonville rookie running back Fred Taylor went 70 yards for a go-ahead touchdown.

There was still time to mount a game-winning drive, an opportunity for Dilfer to earn some respect, but on fourth and five, his pass was intercepted, certifying him a stiff for another week.

Planning Ahead

You don’t have to be Sherlock to know that the Packers needed Holmes.

It went mostly unnoticed, but Green Bay General Manager Ron Wolf traded a fourth-round pick to Buffalo in late September for running back Darick Holmes. Holmes spent the following weeks working on special teams, but when Green Bay lost running back Travis Jervey--who was replacing Dorsey Levens and Raymont Harris--because of a broken ankle, the Packers handed the ball to Holmes.

Holmes ran for 111 yards against the Giants, the first Packer back to top the century mark this season.

“It’s a typical Ron Wolf move,” said A.J. Smith, Buffalo’s director of pro personnel, at the time of the deal. “It’s taking a guy that’s a good football player and putting him in the mix. They plan on going places and they can use him.”

Statistics to Ponder

The Baltimore Ravens and San Diego Chargers scored a total of 27 points. The officials beat them with 30 penalties. . . . Remember when Cinderella could leave home and have a good time? Tampa Bay has now lost seven in a row on the road.

After a week of practice and game-planning, four teams--the Bears, Giants, Bengals and Rams--managed to score no more than one field goal each. Carolina was much more polished, with three field goals. . . . When someone says 0-7, Craig Whelihan will no longer automatically pop into mind. Whelihan, replacing Ryan Leaf, is now 1-7 for the Chargers.

After Dave Brown, it was tough for Danny Kanell to look bad, but he does, the New York Giants now have gone almost 10 quarters without a touchdown. . . . How can Jerome Bettis look unstoppable one game, then be held to 29 yards in 14 carries against the Tennessee Oilers?

The Best Medicine

The Packers were shocked by the Steelers a week ago, but bounced back to demolish the Giants, 37-3, prompting tight end Mark Chmura to say, “I think we needed this.”

Everyone needs to play the Giants when feeling poorly.

“I don’t care how angry they were, they should not have beaten us by that many points,” Giant defensive end Michael Strahan said.

Gutless

Final play of the game, and is it any different from any other play if you are an official assigned to enforce the rules?

Arizona quarterback Jake Plummer lofted a pass into the end zone to wide receiver Rob Moore. Dallas cornerback Kevin Smith had no idea where the ball was and jumped into Moore’s arms, interfering with his opportunity to catch the ball.

Two officials--one poised in the front corner of the end zone and the other in the rear--could be seen on TV replays in perfect position to make a call, but neither did.

Get The Bullpen Ready

The San Francisco 49er offense, unstoppable in the past because of quarterback Steve Young’s three-step drops and quick flicks to wide receiver Jerry Rice, no longer functions so effectively.

Rice lacks the explosiveness he had before injuring his knee twice, and it takes him time to get off the line of scrimmage. As a result, Young is holding the ball longer and, playing behind an offensive line that isn’t up to 49er standards, is being punished weekly.

He missed a game two weeks ago because of a pulled stomach muscle and there are some who watch the 49ers regularly who suspect he’s also playing with a rib injury.

“Every game is like a train wreck,” Young said.

Stay in School

The Jets had the No. 1 pick in the 1997 draft and were in position to select Peyton Manning, but Manning chose to stay in college for his senior year, rather than meeting daily with Bill Parcells.

Smart kid.

Manning, banished to Indianapolis for waiting an extra year, has thrown a touchdown pass in seven consecutive games, the first rookie to do so since 1983, when Dan Marino matched the previous mark set by Jim Plunkett and David Woodley.

Manning also took the Colts 80 yards in 15 plays in a last-minute drive in their 24-23 victory over the Jets, completing eight of 13 passes, one a 14-yarder to tight end Marcus Pollard, who dragged Jet cornerback Otis Smith three yards before getting the ball over the goal line with a fully extended arm for the winning score.

Smith, asked what he was thinking while Pollard was dragging him to the goal line, said, “I thought I’ve got to get stronger. I’ve got to get back into the weight room.”

And what was Parcells thinking?

“This makes me sick,” he said.