If a missile can be called a peacekeeper, I suppose there is some justification for calling Andy Katzenmoyer a student-athlete. But even Katzenmoyer, the best linebacker in college, acknowledges he is at Ohio State for one reason only--to play football.
Sadly for him, Ohio State also requires him to attend classes, which he did last spring, although not frequently enough to avoid summer school. According to several broadcast reports, he is eligible to play his junior season, which begins Saturday with a game at West Virginia.
The three courses he had to pass were Golf 1, Music 140 and AIDS: What Every College Student Should Know, courses that appear to have been omitted from the Harvard catalog. The three professors, The Times has learned, consented to combining their final exams.
Some questions leaked to us:
1. Who is the most famous golfer from Ohio State?
a) Jack Nicklaus.
b) Woody Austin.
c) Woody Hayes.
2. What is the anthem played for Europe at the Ryder Cup?
a) "Ode to Joy."
b) "Ode to Billie Joe."
c) "Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog."
3. What was Bob Knight's handicap when he was a student at Ohio State?
b) His temper.
c) Never recorded. Havlicek stole the ball.
4. The '70s rock song, "Tighten Up," was recorded by:
a) Archie Bell and the Drells.
b) The Archies.
c) Archie Griffin.
5. What does a golfer yell as a warning when he hits a ball that appears as if it might hit other players?
b) Whoa, Nellie!
c) Goldberg did it!
6. Dirty steroid needles can result in:
b) abnormal liver function, testicular shrinkage, baldness.
c) 18 tackles a game.
d) a multimillion dollar NFL contract.
e) all of the above.
Bonus. After the Buckeye band's mad dash down the field in the famous Script Ohio formation, the tuba player:
a) passes out.
b) dots the "i."
c) dots the second "o" and has to go to summer school with the football team.
Fred Claire returns to the ESPN Radio broadcast booth for Saturday's Chicago at Pittsburgh game. . . .
I interrupted his preparation Wednesday to ask whether he would trade Raul Mondesi for Sammy Sosa. . . .
He gave the diplomatic answer, saying his preference would be to have Mondesi in center and Sosa in right. . . .
Mondesi, whose $9 million-a year-deal with the Dodgers is based on Sosa's with the Cubs, probably will never challenge Roger Maris' home run record. . . .
But Claire said Mondesi will hit more home runs if he becomes more disciplined at the plate. . . .
Before Wednesday night's game, Mondesi had walked only 20 times this season and struck out 101. . . .
Discipline, Claire said, is the key to Sosa's emergence among power hitters. . . .
"We always pitched to him when I was with the Dodgers because he would swing at balls out of the strike zone," Claire said. "He's not doing that as much now." . . .
Last season, Sosa led the National League in strikeouts with 174 and walked only 45 times. . . .
Although he still has 136 strikeouts so far this season, he also has walked 61 times. . . .
Sean O'Donnell responds. . . .
Asked about his major penalty that assisted St. Louis in coming from three goals behind to beat the Kings in the playoffs last season, he said for an article in a future Kings' game program: "I haven't received any negative vibes or publicity from our coach or general manager, or even other players around the league. . . .
"If you don't do anything to retaliate, then you let them set the tempo for Game 4--that they can just hit the goalie." . . .
Translation: If you don't do anything to retaliate, you're the Mighty Ducks. . . .
What did Maris do with his 61st home run ball after Sacramento restaurateur Sam Gordon presented it to him? . . .
He immediately donated it to the Hall of Fame. There is a case for the ball in his family's home in Gainesville, Fla., empty except for the No. 61 written on a slip of paper.
While wondering if anyone really believed Mr. Clutch would let down the Lakers, I was thinking: Sosa is the National League MVP if the Cubs win the wild-card berth, Moises Alou if they don't, Hack Wilson is having his worst week in years.