You Just Can’t See These All-Stars for the Woods

While Tiger Woods charged and faded, we had to make do with slightly less thunderous moments during the NBA All-Star weekend.

How often does a non-major golf tournament upstage Vince Carter, Kobe Bryant, Allen Iverson and Shaquille O’Neal, united to display the most flashy, sometimes trashy basketball known to man or superman?

The sports world took another fun-filled journey into the Woods again this weekend, but up here, among the slog and bog of a rainy Bay Area, there were some other ridiculous and sublime moments worth talking about:

Where are you, Karl? Karl Malone, the Utah power forward and NBA defender of the old guard, declined to participate in any of the festivities except for the All-Star game itself.

In a league moving frantically to rap music and Internet crossovers and hip-hop marketing pitches, Malone knew he barely belonged, which probably says more about the league than him.

Vince Carter, above the rim: Maybe the best illustration of his hold on the league, his peers, and anybody who can watch a highlight was watching O’Neal during the slam-dunk contest.

O’Neal brought his video camera, but used it only once, for Carter’s first, reverse-360-degree twirling dunk, and that was enough.

By the time the players on hand moved out of the way so Carter could attempt a final, two-handed, leap from near the free-throw line dunk, you didn’t need to see any more.

West is best: Check the standings. Try to find one East team that could win a game or two at Portland, Staples Center or San Antonio.

Or look at Phil Jackson’s loose practice with the Western Conference All-Stars, when he sent two squads of stars and budding superstars against each other in a spirited mini-All-Star game.

O’Neal, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, Bryant and Jason Kidd vs. Rasheed Wallace, Chris Webber, David Robinson, Gary Payton and John Stockton.

The East--Dale Davis? Jerry Stackhouse? Reggie Miller?--can’t compete with that.

THE BIG PICTURE

Twenty-nine years is a long time to be anything, forget about being head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, from inception to Jerry Jones.

Tom Landry, who died Saturday, didn’t only outlive and outlast practically everyone else of his era--Vince Lombardi, George Allen--his hard eyes and flat twang seemed to personify a specific time and place in American sports.

* He was Texas, when Texas was flush with oil and the home kingdom of football.

(Now the NFL is in Europe, mining the Arena League for talent, and has Vince McMahon as a rival.)

* He was the fedora cap, before the arrival of the salary cap.

(Now only Dan Reeves, the last Landry disciple at the helm of an NFL franchise, even wears a tie on the sideline.)

* He was the NFL’s model of authority, when NFL authority was admired and expected.

(Now Randy Moss squirts water on officials and Dick Vermeil retired probably at least in part to avoid any more sideline hugs from Georgia Frontiere.)

* And he was the Cowboys, when the Cowboys were an American institution, maybe, behind only the New York Yankees, the most important sports team this nation has ever had.

(Now Deion Sanders is leaving, Michael Irvin is retiring, Jimmy Johnson is long gone, Joey Galloway is worth two No. 1 picks and $42 million and somebody named Dave Campo is the coach.)

WEEKEND TALKING POINTS

1. John McEnroe, Pete Sampras: At the Great Western Forum for Davis Cup Round 2, it’ll be the best coach-player tension since Del Harris and Nick Van Exel.

2. Tiger Woods going after Phil Mickelson in Buick Invitational: Gee, and I was sure Shigeki Maruyama was going to knock them both off.

3. Clippers/Lakers, 2001: If the Clippers lose Maurice Taylor and Derek Anderson and the Lakers keep rising, could this city see the first 70-victory/70-defeat season?

4. Dennis Rodman, the Maverick: I give him 20 more games. And 16 more hair colors.

5. Dan Marino, the end? Creaky, cranky, and about 1,000 passes past his prime . . . This is not exactly the best way to become a free agent.

6. Syracuse survives vs. UCLA: Why does Dan Gadzuric (18 points, 12 rebounds) seem to wake up only when he’s playing on the East Coast?

7. Pepperdine 80, Gonzaga 69: You know it’s going to be tough, but could the NCAA tournament committee please find a way to get both teams in?

8. Surprise! Team De La Hoya fires another trainer: Gil Clancy, join Emanuel Steward, Jesus Rivero, Carlos Ortiz, Al Stankie . . .

9. Kings end 22-game winless streak against Dallas: OK, now they don’t have to beat the Stars again until 2005.

10. Wayne Gretzky: The Kings haven’t retired No. 99 yet. Might as well retire No. 49 1/2, because they’ll never be half as good as they were with him.

LEADING QUESTIONS

You feel for any team that has to trade Ken Griffey Jr., but if you’re a baseball fan--especially a National League fan--didn’t last week’s deal feel like a sudden kick-start to Spring Training 2000?

Now that Griffey has joined Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire in the same division, can we go ahead and rename it “Home Run Central”?

Just as soon as you finished reading about Griffey and the Reds, you read that pitchers and catchers are due to report any time now. . . . Did they do this on cue or something?

At least the Dodgers picked up Shawn Green. . . . Exactly what did the Angels do to pique our interest? Anybody remember the Angels?