Don’t They Know This Game Is Serious Business?

Off-the-wall questions are the norm by so-called media types during Super Bowl week and Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune chronicles a few:

“ ‘Is Ram a noun or a verb?’ The question was asked of St. Louis defensive end Jay Williams by the mock-serious female from Comedy Central, Beth Littleford.

“[And] Tennessee running back Eddie George is asked by some fully credentialed fool from the Cartoon Network, ‘For president, what cartoon character would you vote for?’ ”

It gets worse.

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Trivia time: Who holds the Super Bowl record for the longest field goal?

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Weird numbers: Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post: “You know, I still can’t get over the final score of the NFC championship game. 11-6? Sounds like the graveyard shift at Lockheed Martin.”

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More Armstrong: “One man’s opinion: If Dan Marino really wants to be the Dolphins’ starting quarterback next season, he’d better hurry up and buy the team.”

What’s next? Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe, on Titan quarterback Steve McNair’s turf toe: “It’s not often toes grab headlines. . . . McNair is doing for toes what George Brett did for hemorrhoids during the 1980 World Series.”

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Bet on Kobe: Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune, on a Las Vegas proposition bet--Kobe Bryant versus the Titans:

“If you think Bryant will end up with more points in the Lakers’ game against Houston Sunday afternoon than Tennessee will against St. Louis, you have to lay three points or bet $1.30 to win $1. If you think the Titans will outscore Bryant, you get three points or even money.”

It’s difficult to figure where that three points is coming from. The Titans averaged 23.3 points during the regular season. Bryant is averaging 23.0.

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Only in America: Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “ ‘Kurt Warner deserves to be on Wheaties boxes,’ says San Francisco ad man Bob Dorfman. ‘After all, he was stocking them only five years ago.’ ”

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Writer’s cramp: From comedy writer Jerry Perisho: “The L.A. Dodgers signed shortstop Mark Grudzielanek to a four-year contract. The contract was six pages long. One page for the terms of the agreement, five pages for Grudzielanek’s signature.”

Maybe they should add another page to the deal to say that Grudzielanek will be playing second base this season.

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Looking back: On this day in 1990, the San Francisco 49ers beat the Denver Broncos, 55-10, in the most lopsided Super Bowl.

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Trivia answer: Steve Christie of Buffalo, 54 yards against Dallas in 1994.

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And finally: Buddy Ryan, Jeff Fisher’s former mentor, in an interview with Jay Mariotti of the Chicago Sun-Times:

“I predicted three months ago that Jeff would win the Super Bowl. I knew because his team is playing defense the way defense is supposed to be played. They get after you. They force turnovers.”