You Can’t Expect ‘All Things Considered’

Art Spander in the Oakland Tribune: “Sports-talk radio is a forum for the wretched masses yearning to get in their two cents’ worth, which probably is only justified when you’re spending $50 a ticket to a game.

“Once in a while, sports-talk radio is topical and informative. Most times it is drivel. There is no accountability. A talk-show host may state something that is complete fiction and never recant.

” . . . If you can’t say something nice about someone, sports-talk radio is your domain. If you don’t like it, well, that’s why God made FM.”

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Trivia time: At one point, Joe Louis was an unprecedented 25-0 in title defenses with 22 knockouts. Who were the three contenders who went the distance, then 15 rounds, with Louis?

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Honking it up: Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, campaigning for Florida State quarterback Chris Weinke to win the Heisman Trophy:

“Sports’ most famous individual prize should be his in a month, or a federal investigation should ensue.

” . . . Weinke is, of course, 28 years old. That is The Issue. That may well cost him the Heisman. It isn’t fair. It isn’t right.”

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Stick to bikes: In a bizarre accident in Cesena, Italy, Marco Pantani, Italy’s top cyclist, smashed into six parked cars Friday while driving his Mercedes the wrong way down a one-way street.

Police said Pantani went the wrong way to get around a traffic jam. Nobody was injured, and Pantani was fined only $52.

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Mr. Sincerity: Chuck Culpepper in the Portland Oregonian before USC had won its first conference game by defeating Arizona State in overtime Saturday:

“Well, of course you’ve wept lately. We all have. USC, 0-5 in the Pacific 10 Conference. We all suffer when bad things happen to such good people.”

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Ho-hum: Bernie Lincicome in the Rocky Mountain News:

“Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant ought not be allowed to play together until at least January, otherwise the long march to the next June is as gripping as gardening.”

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Hounding the Hawks: From the Vent column in the Atlanta Journal-

Constitution: “The Hawks finished 29th in the Sports Illustrated preseason poll of NBA teams. And that’s just because the NBA doesn’t have 30 teams.

“Until management gets the Hawks some players, it looks like they will be using the Triangle Offense. That is, the Bermuda Triangle Offense that disappears down the stretch.”

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Calling all magicians: From comedy writer Earl Hochman: “It looks like the Lakers are spinning their wheels when it comes to hiring special coaches to improve Shaquille O’Neal’s free-throw shooting when the only man who could help is not with us--Harry Houdini.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1943, the Detroit Lions and the New York Giants played the NFL’s last scoreless tie.

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Trivia answer: Tommy Farr in 1937, Arturo Godoy in 1940 and Jersey Joe Walcott in 1947.

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And finally: Gary Shelton in the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times: “Perhaps the worst thing about the BCS is this: No one has a clue as to how it works. Not a bit.

“The guess is that you take a team’s number of wins, the margin of victory and total yardage, and then you add the combined wealth of the three biggest alumni, the lyrics of the school fight song and the IQ of the drum major, and there you have it: The BCS ranking. Also, a recipe for chili.”