STILL HUMONGOUS AFTER ALL THESE YEARS

Denver at Miami, 10 a.m., Channel 2. Back in Miami, where his dad once led the Dolphins to Super Bowl championships, Bronco quarterback Brian Griese mused about his first visit to Dolphin training camp, “when I was 4 or 5. I was throwing the ball around with my old man and a few other players and I remember thinking, ‘The guys are humongous!’ I thought somebody was going to step on me.” Two decades have passed and today Brian will learn, if he hasn’t already, that the more things change the more they stay the same.

The line: Miami by 3.

SOON TO BE AVAILABLE ON LUCK-RAN-OUT RECORDS

Detroit at Chicago, 10 a.m. There’s more than enough lousy music cramming the radio airwaves, but Bear cornerback R.W. McQuarters believes there’s always room for more. Which explains why he wants to remake the Bears’ old “Super Bowl Shuffle,” just in time for the team’s mid-December swoon. “I wouldn’t mind making the video at all,” McQuarters told the Chicago Tribune. “It needs to be redone anyway. ... I can handle the lead and the lyrics. I am lyrically inclined.” How about lending him a hand?

Bucs and Vikes ain’t nothin’

We can whip those clubs

But by the time we get to Christmas

We’ll be lookin’ like the Cubs.

The line: Chicago by 7.

WHY THE VIKINGS ARE 4-6, CASE CLOSED

Minnesota at Pittsburgh, 10 a.m., Channel 11. Is Randy Moss the biggest waste of $75 million in professional sports? You decide. “I play when I want to play,” Moss informed the Minneapolis Star-Tribune this week. “Do I play up to my top performance, my ability every time? Maybe not.... When I make my mind up, I am going out there to tear somebody’s head off. When I go out there and play football, man, it’s not anybody telling me to play or how I should play. I play when I want to play, case closed.”

The line: Pittsburgh by 7.

LESS IS MOE

Indianapolis at Baltimore, 10 a.m. Arrogance has its down side, as the Ravens are discovering after letting Priest Holmes traipse off to Kansas City in the off-season because they were convinced Jamal Lewis was invincible. Now, with the news of Jason Brookins’ broken foot following the news of Terry Allen’s broken hand, the Ravens will start tailback No. 4 today: former Viking Moe Williams. Terry, Moe and Jay? Are these the Super Bowl champs, or the Pep Boys?

The line: Baltimore by 7.

THAT GAME AGAINST THE FALCONS WAS SCARIER THAN ‘THE BIRDS’

Carolina at New Orleans, 10 a.m. The Panthers have a cornerback named Hitchcock, first name Jimmy, and when asked about Carolina’s 1-10 season, Hitchcock said, “It’s a horror movie,” and, really, if you stick around this league long enough, you’re going to hear and see everything.

The line: New Orleans by 10.

BLAME IT ON THE RAVENS

Tennessee at Cleveland, 10 a.m. The Browns are 6-4 and in contention for a playoff berth in their third season of existence despite having the 31st-ranked offense (as in last) in the league, averaging 3.0 yards a rushing attempt (26th in the league) and fewer than 200 yards passing a game (28th in the league). What that says about today’s NFL, we don’t want to know, except, as you already know, we already do.

The line: Cleveland by 1.

NOT SO FAST, AKILI. YOUR PENMANSHIP HAS REALLY IMPROVED

Tampa Bay at Cincinnati, 10 a.m. This just in from Cincinnati: Akili Smith plays in a game, is quite angry about it. “I was very upset with the whole situation,” Smith told the Cincinnati Enquirer after playing the final four downs in the Bengals’ 18-0 loss to Cleveland. “They threw me out there to the wolves. They showed me no respect at all.” Smith went on to suggest that the Bengals might “need to get rid of me” because “I’m not getting any better standing on the sideline writing down the plays on the clipboard.” Houston Texans, here he comes.

The line: Tampa Bay by 5.

ONE DIFFERENCE: CHARGERS GET SOGGY WITHOUT MILK

San Diego at Seattle, 1 p.m. Did you know that Flutie Flakes, now available in finer grocery markets throughout Southern California, are nothing more than knock-offs of Frosted Flakes, except Doug Flutie’s picture is on the box? Did you know that in the month of November, Flutie won as many football games as Tony the Tiger? Do you now know why Charger Coach Mike Riley is looking at the vacant San Diego State job as a sure-fire form of career advancement?

The line: Seattle by 3.

YOU CAN TAKE THAT COCA-COLA AND SHOVE IT

Arizona at Oakland, 1:15 p.m. So last Sunday Mean Joe Greene walks out of Qualcomm Stadium after beating the San Diego Chargers. Kid comes up to him, holds out a Pittsburgh Steeler cap, asks for an autograph. “Sorry,” says Mean Joe, now the defensive line coach for the Arizona Cardinals. “I only sign Cardinals gear.” And right then and there, the kid switched allegiances. That’s right. Today, that kid will be rooting, hard, for the Raiders.

The line: Oakland by 121/2.

FALCON FAN, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO ANGEL FAN

St. Louis at Atlanta, 1:15 p.m., Channel 11. Can you believe the Falcons are 4-1 in their last five, 6-4 overall, with a real shot at the playoffs if they simply split their last six games? Atlanta doesn’t. As of midweek, 20,000 tickets remained unsold for the Falcons’ showdown with division leader St. Louis. “I’d like to mention that this is a big game,” Falcon Coach Dan Reeves sarcastically reminded the populace. “I think we still have tickets available.... I’ll get down on my knees if I have to, but I would like to encourage [fans] to come.” What, and miss “Thrashers 2001: The Game We Won” on ESPN Classic?

The line: St. Louis by 8.

HE’S NOT ALONE

Dallas at Washington, 1:15 p.m. Since the last time they met, on the Monday Night That Time Forgot, the Redskins have won five games in a row and the Cowboys have not, alienating their fans, their city, their sport and now their only reason to buy a ticket, Emmitt Smith. On pace for a career-low 231 carries and his first sub-1,000-yard season since his rookie year, Smith is grumbling about being reduced to a sideshow in the Cowboy game plan. Ever image-conscious, Smith concedes that when his complaints make print, “It makes it look like I am crazy, like I am going against the philosophy, and I don’t even know what the philosophy is.”

The line: Washington by 81/2.

THE PROBLEM FIRST APPEARED RIGHT AROUND OPENING DAY

Buffalo at San Francisco, 5:30 p.m., ESPN. Rob Johnson, out because of a broken collarbone and a fractured reputation, may have played his last game for the Bills, who see no reason to pay Johnson $11.2 million next season to lose games when Alex Van Pelt can do the same thing for a lot less. “Sleeping’s the toughest thing,” Johnson says about having a broken collarbone. Bill fans have complained of the same condition this season, though all of their collarbones are fine.

The line: San Francisco by 8.

AH, FOR THE GLITTER, THE GLAMOUR AND THE NIGHT LIFE OF GREEN BAY

Green Bay at Jacksonville, Monday, 6 p.m., Channel 7. Here’s another one of the statistics that makes you realize that underneath it all, the NFL is really nothing more than a frustrated wannabe baseball league: The Jaguars are 4-0 when playing at home on Monday night. Which tells us what, exactly? That every so often, 53 young men get very, very excited at the prospect of having something to do in Jacksonville after sundown.

The line: Off.