Ram-Steeler Finale Is in the Chips

Suppose Pete Rozelle had never invented the Super Bowl tournament, caving in to pressure from NFL owners who wanted to keep the game exactly as it was 50 years ago, and turned the seeding of the league’s biggest game over to the bowl championship series computers.

I know what you’re thinking: St. Louis vs. Nebraska in Super Bowl VI.

Could you live with St. Louis vs. Pittsburgh?

Three of the current BCS computers also spit out weekly NFL power ratings, and all of them agree, so far, on a Ram-Steeler Super Bowl.

After that, however, the footing gets a little slippery....

KENNETH MASSEY

1. St. Louis.... 10-2, first in NFC West, the league’s best division, according to Massey.

2. Pittsburgh.... 10-2, first in AFC Central, in spite of 18th-ranked offense.

3. Miami.... 9-3, first in AFC East. Up two slots after 41-6 rout of Indianapolis.

4. Green Bay.... 9-3, tied for first in NFC Central, thanks to the league’s sixth-best home-field advantage.

5. San Francisco.... 9-3, second in NFC West, despite 23rd-ranked defense.

6. Oakland.... 10-3 and AFC West champion in spite of 25th-ranked defense. Nobody in the Bay Area can stop the run.

7. Chicago.... 9-3, tied for first in NFC Central. Massey ranks Bears’ offense 29th in league, ahead of only Atlanta and Cincinnati.

8. Baltimore.... 8-4, second in AFC Central. Evidently, Massey’s computer factors in results from January.

BCS title matchup: No. 1 Miami vs. No. 2 Oregon.

Super Bowl projection: St. Louis over Pittsburgh.

Ghost in the machine: NFC East, with only one team above .500, is rated a tougher division than the AFC West.

MATTHEWS GRID RATINGS

1. St. Louis.... The NFL equivalent of the Miami Hurricanes: No argument as to who’s No. 1.

2. Pittsburgh.... Stifling defense, ground-oriented offense, athletic running quarterback. The NFL equivalent of Nebraska--except the Steelers lead their division.

3. Chicago.... Evidently, 0-2 against Green Bay doesn’t mean a thing.

4. Miami.... Matthews likes defense.

5. Green Bay.... Computer software must have frozen in Lambeau.

6. San Francisco.... 49ers were second here last week. Then Rams put them in their place.

7. Oakland.... Two weeks ago, Matthews had 49ers and Raiders ranked 3-4. West Coast bias?

8. Philadelphia.... Dropped from sixth to eighth after 10-point win at home over San Diego.

BCS title matchup: No. 1 Miami vs. No. 2 Nebraska.

Super Bowl projection: St. Louis over Pittsburgh.

Ghost in the machine: Bears at No. 3?

JEFF SAGARIN

1. St. Louis.... 6-0 against teams ranked in Sagarin’s top 10.

2. San Francisco.... Ranked second before, after 27-14 loss at St. Louis.

3. Green Bay.... Switched places with Chicago after season sweep of Bears.

4. Pittsburgh.... Is he ranking teams, or quarterbacks?

5. Chicago.... Sagarin likes the NFC.

6. Miami.... Still riding 18-15 victory over Raiders on Sept. 23.

7. Philadelphia.... Best team in NFL’s worst division, according to Sagarin.

8. Oakland.... Docked two notches for lack of style at home against Chiefs.

BCS title matchup: No. 1 Miami vs. No. 2 Florida.

Super Bowl projection: St. Louis over Pittsburgh.

Ghost in the machine: Carolina, loser of 12 straight, including last week to Buffalo, is ranked two notches ahead of No. 31 Buffalo.

AND NOW FOR A FEW WORDS FROM THE EX-BCS

The Dunkel Index and the New York Times computer ratings had nothing to do with this year’s Rose Bowl fiasco, because they were dropped from the BCS before the season for refusing to eliminate the margin-of-victory element from their ranking formulas. They too produce weekly pro football rankings--and this is how they see the NFL:

DUNKEL INDEX

1. St. Louis.... League’s best offense.

2. Pittsburgh.... League’s best defense.

3. New England.... Living large off 44-13 and 38-17 victories over Colts.

4. Green Bay.... Do you believe in magic? Dunkel doesn’t. Packers ranked 12 places higher than Bears.

5. Miami.... Computer needs more memory: Dolphins beat Patriots by 20 points back in October.

6. Minnesota.... On second thought, it’s probably a good thing Dunkel and the BCS parted company.

7. Tampa Bay.... I mean, the Vikings are 5-7 and lost at Tampa by 27 points.

8. New York Jets.... Anyone else think three of the NFL’s top eight teams play in the AFC East? Put your down hand, Vinny.

BCS title matchup: No. 1 Miami vs. No. 2 Florida. Has Nebraska No. 5.

Super Bowl projection: St. Louis over Pittsburgh.

Ghost in the machine: MINNESOTA?!?

NEW YORK TIMES

1. St. Louis.... Courtesy of league’s top average scoring margin, plus-14.

2. Pittsburgh.... You don’t need a computer to know who the two 10-2 teams are.

3. Philadelphia.... Bought software out of the trunk of car with Pennsylvania plates.

4. Miami.... Seventh last week. Then came Dolphins 41, Colts 6.

5. Green Bay.... From 10th to fifth after 10-point victory over Bears.

6. Chicago.... Last week, Bears were No. 2 here. Something had to be done.

7. Oakland.... Was sixth before Raiders 28, Chiefs 26.

8. San Francisco.... Beating up on teams that are a cumulative 43-54 against the rest of the league.

BCS title matchup: No. 1 Miami vs. No. 2 Colorado. Has Nebraska No. 4.

Super Bowl projection: St. Louis over Pittsburgh.

Ghost in the machine: The Eagles at No. 3?

DETROIT LIONS: CHASING HISTORY

The quest: To become the first NFL team to finish a season 0-16.

Credentials to date: 0-12, the worst start in franchise history.

Next defeat: Should be today against Minnesota. Unless Randy Moss rolls out of bed and decides he doesn’t feel like it.

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Chance for success: The streak is at a crossroads. If the Vikings, 5-7 with little left to play for, go through the motions, it could all end today. But if the Lions assign 5-foot-9 cornerback Jimmy Wyrick to cover Moss, it’s on to 0-13--which would be the worst start to a season since the 1990 Patriots opened 0-14.

Historical footnote: Detroit has lost its last nine games by five, three, four, eight, three, seven, two, three and three points--unprecedented in NFL history.