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On Good Days, He’s the Late Rod Strickland

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Thomas Boswell in the Washington Post: “The Wizards have a $10-million-a-season investment in Rod Strickland. For many years, he has had a spectacular record of absenteeism at practice.

“Rod and Dracula feel the same way about sunlight. Strickland just isn’t a morning person. Or sometimes an afternoon person, either. Luckily, NBA games are usually at night.

“Strickland deals with his Practice Aversion Syndrome in creative ways. Sometimes, he blows the whole thing off, then says he ‘overslept.’ His alarm clock often takes the rap. (It’s broken. He forget to set it. He doesn’t own one at the moment.)

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“On other days, Strickland just comes late. When he does show up on time, he sometimes practices as if he wasn’t really there.”

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No wizard: Tony Kornheiser in the Washington Post: “Look, nobody admires Michael Jordan more than I do. He’s the greatest and most consistent athlete I’ve ever seen.

“Like many of you, I was uplifted when he agreed to run the Wizards. Like many of you, I hoped Jordan would immediately perform some magic. I now see that just because a team calls itself the Wizards, that doesn’t mean magic conveys.”

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Shame on them: Peter Vecsey in the New York Post: “How cheap are the Wizards? It has come to my attention that many of the players are still carting around ‘Bullets’ bags and other paraphernalia with the old team nickname on it. Why?

“Because management has failed to provide replacements. Mocked one player, ‘All we heard when Michael got here was how everything was going to be first class.’

“It is, for him.”

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Trivia time: Other than USC, which Pacific 10 Conference school has won the most bowl games?

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Strange place: Jay Leno, noting that the St. Louis Rams were fined $90,000 for their touchdown celebrations, claimed that the Chargers had also been hit with a $40,000 penalty for a dance they did “after crossing the 50-yard line.”

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A real scramble: Fox TV analyst John Madden on the NFL playoffs: “To me this whole thing is open. Anyone who says they know what’s going to happen, they’re just guessing. It’s as open as I ever remember the playoff situation.”

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Rest in peace: From the Gallery column of the San Diego Union-Tribune: “The late Erma Bombeck said it, and it bears repeating every holiday season: ‘If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.’ ”

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Trivia answer: Washington, with a 13-12-1 record.

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And finally: Miami Heat Coach Pat Riley, refuting Milwaukee Buck counterpart George Karl’s claim that the NBA isn’t exciting anymore: “When everybody is spending time in judgment, instead of doing their job, that’s what makes it a bad game. When we’re all telling people how bad it is, people are going to begin to believe that.”

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